10 Oct - The 'Demons Never Die' premiere

October 10th, 2011

Today was a day when London went from having three (3) premieres to having... well... two, but only if you're willing to accept a carpet-less, barrier-less, security-less,Yellow-cap-guy-less indoor event as a "premiere". ... and I have in the past, but today I decided to go to the only one that fit the minimum requirements (any two of carpet, barriers, security, Yellow Cap Guy, and an insanely beautiful actress attending) (sadly the last of those was not a factor in this one!)

Anyway... there was no 'Contagion' premiere sadly, but... erm... some movie I'd never heard of instead, featuring an impressive list filled with.... people I'd also never heard of.

The movie is called "Demons Never Die" anda brief look at the cast list suggests some music industry c- and d- listers were approached to do a halloween-timed Horror/Slasher film. (I mean, who or what the hell is a 'Tulisa Contastavlos'?)

The movie is called "Demons Never Die" anda brief look at the cast list suggests some music industry c- and d- listers were approached to do a halloween-timed Horror/Slasher film. (I mean, who or what the hell is a 'Tulisa Contastavlos'?)

I don't usually allow conspicuous product placements in my premiere journals, but I do have a thing for Ben & Jerry's icecream. In other news, things are a hive of activity in one of the smallest fully-functioning premieres I've ever been to. In the end, it might have been as little as 30 paparazzi and 30-40 fans in a fully-enclosed space.

I don't usually allow conspicuous product placements in my premiere journals, but I do have a thing for Ben & Jerry's icecream. In other news, things are a hive of activity in one of the smallest fully-functioning premieres I've ever been to. In the end, it might have been as little as 30 paparazzi and 30-40 fans in a fully-enclosed space.

"Hey, young man! You're not allowed in here. Where are your parents?" This very youthful kid / man has been identified by wireimage as 'Craig Roberts'. Per wikipedia, he's either a Welsh Actor or a Canadian wrestler. Oh, I do hope it's the latter...

"Hey, young man! You're not allowed in here. Where are your parents?" This very youthful kid / man has been identified by wireimage as 'Craig Roberts'. Per wikipedia, he's either a Welsh Actor or a Canadian wrestler. Oh, I do hope it's the latter...

"Neo, are you listening to what I'm saying or are you too busy staring at the woman in the red dress?" This man is not Keanu Reeves, and the usher is not Laurence Fishburne. And that's all I know. (Further research says' he's Arjun Rose, and he's the director of this film) (you're welcome).

"Neo, are you listening to what I'm saying or are you too busy staring at the woman in the red dress?" This man is not Keanu Reeves, and the usher is not Laurence Fishburne. And that's all I know. (Further research says' he's Arjun Rose, and he's the director of this film) (you're welcome).

"Yes, yes, these glasses are awesome. And no, that's why you can't have them" Again I'm forced to go to the web for help, and this time it comes up with the unlikely name of 'Angel'. Well, I won't be stealing HIS glasses, then, clearly.

"Yes, yes, these glasses are awesome. And no, that's why you can't have them" Again I'm forced to go to the web for help, and this time it comes up with the unlikely name of 'Angel'. Well, I won't be stealing HIS glasses, then, clearly.

It's a rare premiere indeed when there's a five page LIST where I've heard of nobody but five people, of which two don't attend, two are still coming, and the remainder are the bandmembers of a group called Rizzle Kicks. Yes, it's true. I've heard of a band called Rizzle Kicks!

It's a rare premiere indeed when there's a five page LIST where I've heard of nobody but five people, of which two don't attend, two are still coming, and the remainder are the bandmembers of a group called Rizzle Kicks. Yes, it's true. I've heard of a band called Rizzle Kicks!

I'll be honest, by the end of this premiere I felt I knew the usher better than some of the 'stars' attending this premiere. Once again, I need to head to the web to first find out that the person with the artful black eye is Jack Doolan... and then wikipedia to learn he's either an American Football running back who died nine years ago aged eighty three... or an Australian Politician. Thanks, wikipedia...

I'll be honest, by the end of this premiere I felt I knew the usher better than some of the 'stars' attending this premiere. Once again, I need to head to the web to first find out that the person with the artful black eye is Jack Doolan... and then wikipedia to learn he's either an American Football running back who died nine years ago aged eighty three... or an Australian Politician. Thanks, wikipedia...

In what is becoming repetitive at this (still strangely enjoyable) premiere, I once again have to hit The Web to learn of the existence of Shanika Warren-Markland. Wikipedia claims she doesn't exist, but imdb.com says she's previously been in "Adulthood", and a movie and/or numerical sequence "4,3,2,1"

In what is becoming repetitive at this (still strangely enjoyable) premiere, I once again have to hit The Web to learn of the existence of Shanika Warren-Markland. Wikipedia claims she doesn't exist, but imdb.com says she's previously been in "Adulthood", and a movie and/or numerical sequence "4,3,2,1"

Stop everything! A man has just done a card trick ON the RED CARPET! And, insanely, neither getty images nor wireimage tagged him. (And, to add incredulity to insanity, I was asked by two people upon leaving the premiere whether "Dynamo" had already gone in!) ...That's right. His name is "Dynamo". Well, Sir, my name is "Rizzle Kicks" (What do you mean that name's already taken??)

Stop everything! A man has just done a card trick ON the RED CARPET! And, insanely, neither getty images nor wireimage tagged him. (And, to add incredulity to insanity, I was asked by two people upon leaving the premiere whether "Dynamo" had already gone in!) ...That's right. His name is "Dynamo". Well, Sir, my name is "Rizzle Kicks" (What do you mean that name's already taken??)

A slightly filled-out Daniel Radcliffe? I don't know... and I have finite hours in the day to look up people. (Me, in 2014 : OMG That's Iwan Rheon - he ends up being Ramsay Snow in Game of Thrones!!)

A slightly filled-out Daniel Radcliffe? I don't know... and I have finite hours in the day to look up people. (Me, in 2014 : OMG That's Iwan Rheon - he ends up being Ramsay Snow in Game of Thrones!!)

Against all evidence and plausibility, I'm claiming this to be James Franco. Yeah. Because the current host of X-Factor whose name is on the movie poster didn't attend, but the Oscar Hosting Mr Franco might.

Against all evidence and plausibility, I'm claiming this to be James Franco. Yeah. Because the current host of X-Factor whose name is on the movie poster didn't attend, but the Oscar Hosting Mr Franco might.

I swear to you we'd ALL look this cool if the whole world was in black'n'white.

I swear to you we'd ALL look this cool if the whole world was in black'n'white.

Okay, fine. ONLY because I listen to Radio1 do I know who 'Reggie Yates' is. And, yes, Rizzle Kicks. He's a DJ. They're a duo. They're down with the trumpets like I'm down with the Pentax.

Okay, fine. ONLY because I listen to Radio1 do I know who 'Reggie Yates' is. And, yes, Rizzle Kicks. He's a DJ. They're a duo. They're down with the trumpets like I'm down with the Pentax.

Despite the flurry of Paparazzi flashes, it appears (via wireimage and getty images) that neither of these people is actually famous. Well-played, Sir and Ma'am. Also, it appears then, sensitive new age guy that I am, that I have just taken a photo of a pretty dress. Go, me!

Despite the flurry of Paparazzi flashes, it appears (via wireimage and getty images) that neither of these people is actually famous. Well-played, Sir and Ma'am. Also, it appears then, sensitive new age guy that I am, that I have just taken a photo of a pretty dress. Go, me!

Woman in White : OMG - you're LEGITIMATE ACTOR Idris Elba!! Come with me if you want to live" This exchange may have happened, or I might be watching the 1984 film "The Terminator" while I'm doing this journal. (That synthesised soundtrack has not aged well)

Woman in White : OMG - you're LEGITIMATE ACTOR Idris Elba!! Come with me if you want to live" This exchange may have happened, or I might be watching the 1984 film "The Terminator" while I'm doing this journal. (That synthesised soundtrack has not aged well)

Idris Elba was 'Heimdall' in the movie "Thor" (though he wasn't at the premiere), 'Mumbles' in Guy Ritchie's "RocknRolla", and the title character Luther in the nothing-to-do-with-Superman TV series "Luther". I can't and won't make fun of him, because (a) he's tougher than me, (b) he's a legitimate actor, and (c ) I'd heard of him.

Idris Elba was 'Heimdall' in the movie "Thor" (though he wasn't at the premiere), 'Mumbles' in Guy Ritchie's "RocknRolla", and the title character Luther in the nothing-to-do-with-Superman TV series "Luther". I can't and won't make fun of him, because (a) he's tougher than me, (b) he's a legitimate actor, and (c ) I'd heard of him.

"Mr Elba, if you'd please pose over here right next to this impossibly-sized *hat*, thank you"

"Mr Elba, if you'd please pose over here right next to this impossibly-sized *hat*, thank you"

"Okay, funksters, deal with this: my coolness scares you and rocks your reality. Ai" Damnit... sunglasses at night, cap after sunset, *AND* fur lined coat on a very mild evening? He's... right. Oh, and his name is *BASHY*. I do not make things like this up.

"Okay, funksters, deal with this: my coolness scares you and rocks your reality. Ai"
Damnit... sunglasses at night, cap after sunset, *AND* fur lined coat on a very mild evening? He's... right.

Oh, and his name is *BASHY*. I do not make things like this up.

Meanwhile, just when things were threatening to make absolutely less sense than before... I actually love the expression on the security dude's face, which counterbalances the pose with an "I see weirder things than you with my breakfast" vibe. Jessie J has arrived.

Meanwhile, just when things were threatening to make absolutely less sense than before... I actually love the expression on the security dude's face, which counterbalances the pose with an "I see weirder things than you with my breakfast" vibe. Jessie J has arrived.

Actually, I do know who Jessie J is - I had that "Pricetag" song bouncing around my head for a while a few weeks back. Whether I can endorse her dress sense, I won't say. I mean, even if they killed a *fake* snow leopard to make that coat, it's still disturbing.

Actually, I do know who Jessie J is - I had that "Pricetag" song bouncing around my head for a while a few weeks back. Whether I can endorse her dress sense, I won't say. I mean, even if they killed a *fake* snow leopard to make that coat, it's still disturbing.

Today's moral : if you wanna get a smile out of a woman, have the confidence to insult her dress sense.... even if it's the day after, when writing the journal of the premiere the night before.

Today's moral : if you wanna get a smile out of a woman, have the confidence to insult her dress sense.... even if it's the day after, when writing the journal of the premiere the night before.

So... what exactly *WAS* that all about? I don't know, but I was there. And that's something! Until next time?

Here's the Archive of Movie Premieres, which on the whole makes a lot more sense than this evening did

By the way, if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.