London

2 Mar - The Shouting Men Premiere

March 2nd, 2010.

I'm sitting here in 2014 having never actually done a journal for this premiere, which I went to a mere four (4) days before heading off skiing, then taking a month off to travel around Europe before taking another month off to travel around Japan before moving back to Australia.

There is a reason why, no matter how bad my memories of the Alice In Wonderland premiere were, I didn't really feel like dignifying this premiere with the status of "my last ever premiere" because (a) it was a movie about soccer, (b) that I'd never heard of, (c) attended by nobody I'd ever heard of, (d) for a film that I've never heard anything about since its premiere (I just checked its imdb score... 4.9!)... and then within five months I actually WAS at a premiere... in Sydney, Australia, that blew this one out of the water.

But I can look back at it now with a little fleeting fondness, and revisit it, and edit the photos for the first time (without using photoshops to straighten horizons, even)... and create that missing journal.

Here's how it went down..

The carpet was dumped by the entrance with 'care'.... so I guess this qualifies it as a premiere, even if Yellow Cap Guy is (sadly) not in attendance for my final London premiere before I ship out back to Convict Land (via

The carpet was dumped by the entrance with 'care'.... so I guess this qualifies it as a premiere, even if Yellow Cap Guy is (sadly) not in attendance for my final London premiere before I ship out back to Convict Land (via

"She be a fine carpet. I say we don't let a soul walk upon her..."

"She be a fine carpet. I say we don't let a soul walk upon her..."

Not so much a Johnny Depp-sized premiere, then...

Not so much a Johnny Depp-sized premiere, then...

Can't tell if famous, but walking on carpet means you've got access (unless security charge and crash-tackle you).

Can't tell if famous, but walking on carpet means you've got access (unless security charge and crash-tackle you).

This? Wireimage informs me is P.H.Moriarty, and PJ Moriarty? imdb informs me, is an actor who has had roles in such diverse films as Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels and Jaws 3-D... well... wow. All these years I'd assumed he'd been a player for Gillingham FC, the club whose fans the movie is about.

This? Wireimage informs me is P.H.Moriarty, and PJ Moriarty? imdb informs me, is an actor who has had roles in such diverse films as Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels and Jaws 3-D... well... wow. All these years I'd assumed he'd been a player for Gillingham FC, the club whose fans the movie is about.

Much more exciting (perhaps) than him not being a football / soccer player OR in this movie for which he's attending the premiere... wikipedia doesn't actually tell you what the letters "P" and "H" in "P.H.Moriarty" stand for... and imdb will only provide that the "P" is for "Patrick". So... any guesses as to the "H"? I refuse to do any research on this, as the solving of the mystery will remove 'the magic'.

Much more exciting (perhaps) than him not being a football / soccer player OR in this movie for which he's attending the premiere... wikipedia doesn't actually tell you what the letters "P" and "H" in "P.H.Moriarty" stand for... and imdb will only provide that the "P" is for "Patrick". So... any guesses as to the "H"? I refuse to do any research on this, as the solving of the mystery will remove 'the magic'.

We now move on to the random 'we're here to entertain you as part of the promotion activity for this film' segment of the premiere. I already pre-emptively miss DJ Impact, who will show up later in these journals as a rapper/emcee whose job it is to hype up the crowds at premieres. Still.. soccerball juggling beats.... staring at a bit of uncarpeted ground for ten minutes.... I guess.

We now move on to the random 'we're here to entertain you as part of the promotion activity for this film' segment of the premiere. I already pre-emptively miss DJ Impact, who will show up later in these journals as a rapper/emcee whose job it is to hype up the crowds at premieres. Still.. soccerball juggling beats.... staring at a bit of uncarpeted ground for ten minutes.... I guess.

P.H.Moriarty returns and brings accompaniment : the guy from earlier, who is now revealed to be "Sir Geoff Hurst". Off to wikipedia I go, then... (as for straightening that horizon like somebody with pride in their photography? NEVER!)

P.H.Moriarty returns and brings accompaniment : the guy from earlier, who is now revealed to be "Sir Geoff Hurst". Off to wikipedia I go, then... (as for straightening that horizon like somebody with pride in their photography? NEVER!)

I've crushed that composition if I do say so myself, and in addition to this, wikipedia reveals that SIR Geoffrey Hurst is a former soccer player who remains the only person to score a Hat-Trick in a world cup final, doing so in England's 1966 victory over West Germany. That makes him a pretty big deal, then... however I'm both just German-born enough to be kind of 'meh'... and very much Australian-enough to both (a) insist on calling the sport 'soccer' and (b) not caring overmuch. Still... well played (44 years ago), Sir (SIR).

I've crushed that composition if I do say so myself, and in addition to this, wikipedia reveals that SIR Geoffrey Hurst is a former soccer player who remains the only person to score a Hat-Trick in a world cup final, doing so in England's 1966 victory over West Germany. That makes him a pretty big deal, then... however I'm both just German-born enough to be kind of 'meh'... and very much Australian-enough to both (a) insist on calling the sport 'soccer' and (b) not caring overmuch. Still... well played (44 years ago), Sir (SIR).

"Hector? Helios? Hernandez?...... Helmut???" "No, not Helmut" "Pity."

"Hector? Helios? Hernandez?...... Helmut???"
"No, not Helmut"
"Pity."

I think you'll acknowledge that it's highly necessary for me to fulfill my 'minimum one female quotient' requirement I just initiated... and I'm pretty confident that this is one. Wireimage identifies her as Lara Lewington, and that's really all I need at this point.

I think you'll acknowledge that it's highly necessary for me to fulfill my 'minimum one female quotient' requirement I just initiated... and I'm pretty confident that this is one. Wireimage identifies her as Lara Lewington, and that's really all I need at this point.

" Guys? I'm going to take a read on the vibe of this premiere and say outright : I don't think we should be Shouting Men tonight".  An entirely quiet Paparazzi box would be quite a unique development...

"Guys? I'm going to take a read on the vibe of this premiere and say outright : I don't think we should be Shouting Men tonight". An entirely quiet Paparazzi box would be quite a unique development...

"Guys? I'm thinking we might have been hasty in judging the vibe".  Time to become Shouting Men, Men. (Start with "over your left shoulder, daaaaaarling". That often seems to work)

"Guys? I'm thinking we might have been hasty in judging the vibe". Time to become Shouting Men, Men. (Start with "over your left shoulder, daaaaaarling". That often seems to work)

I don't know who this is, and for imdb this is such a small movie that not even the director's bio has a photo. So until I'm told otherwise, I'm proclaiming this man Director Steve Kelly. Oh, and the lady in the prior photo is "Millie Clode" in case you're interested. Wikipedia informs me she got married in February 2011, so if you're going to time travel back to March 2010, you might still have a chance)

I don't know who this is, and for imdb this is such a small movie that not even the director's bio has a photo. So until I'm told otherwise, I'm proclaiming this man Director Steve Kelly. Oh, and the lady in the prior photo is "Millie Clode" in case you're interested. Wikipedia informs me she got married in February 2011, so if you're going to time travel back to March 2010, you might still have a chance)

Please don't get briefly excited and then disappointed when I note that this attendee is positively identified as "Billy Murray". That's... BILLY MURRAY, not the more famous BILL MURRAY, who was in Ghostbusters and  The Fantastic Mr Fox.

Please don't get briefly excited and then disappointed when I note that this attendee is positively identified as "Billy Murray". That's... BILLY MURRAY, not the more famous BILL MURRAY, who was in Ghostbusters and The Fantastic Mr Fox.

I'm actually mildly impressed that beyond the soccer-skillz dudez from above, there was actually a secondary promotional element to this premiere : girls with Wicked Witch Of The East socks and tops with "The Shouting Men" printed on them. It's the third thing I noticed after the Ben&Jerry and Pepsi signs.. but then I'm not that observant.

I'm actually mildly impressed that beyond the soccer-skillz dudez from above, there was actually a secondary promotional element to this premiere : girls with Wicked Witch Of The East socks and tops with "The Shouting Men" printed on them. It's the third thing I noticed after the Ben&Jerry and Pepsi signs.. but then I'm not that observant.

And so... for the first time EVER, this premiere is acknowledged and WILL be part of the Archive of Movie Premieres, complete with a link.

And because I'm sitting here in 2014 and know that this is NOT the end, I kind of CAN do what I wouldn't have done back in March 2010, and concluded this journal with...

... until next time (in Sydney!)

PS. If you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieres.co

25 Feb - The 'Alice In Wonderland (2010)' World Premiere

February 25th, 2010.

After THE BAFTAs on Sunday, there was still one more BIG premiere to look forward to: the World Premiere for ‘Alice in Wonderland’, directed by Tim Burton. With Johnny Depp expected AND Royalty expected AND rain expected AND crowds expected AND the pressure of it being more or less my last big hurrah in Leicester Square, this was always going to be a tough ask.

In the end, it wasn’t the best of times… but I suppose I’ve had several worse. Fans of Johnny Depp and Fine Photography might need to seek consolation elsewhere, as the two do not really meet in this journal. There are two shots, though, that I'm calling 'recognisable'...

But here’s how it went down:

I’d dropped by at lunchtime to see how the crowd situation was shaping up, and it was about as you'd expect for a Royal World Premiere. Specifically not good for anyone still needing to do another three or four hours in the office before being able to try to find a place (eek!). And Yellow Cap Guy, sadly, was not there at all. Ominous.

I’d dropped by at lunchtime to see how the crowd situation was shaping up, and it was about as you'd expect for a Royal World Premiere. Specifically not good for anyone still needing to do another three or four hours in the office before being able to try to find a place (eek!). And Yellow Cap Guy, sadly, was not there at all. Ominous.

Helena Bonham Carter's rider was getting more and more ridiculous...

Helena Bonham Carter's rider was getting more and more ridiculous...

Tim Burton’s topiary suppliers score another win for sheer engineering bravado. (But what *IS* it? Mutant sea-turtle pelican hybrid?)

Tim Burton’s topiary suppliers score another win for sheer engineering bravado. (But what *IS* it? Mutant sea-turtle pelican hybrid?)

This being a Tim Burton film, you could literally have anything from a giant kettle to a table lamp and it would be just as plausibly relevant. Here? A llama. Outstanding! One of the few things I was able to see from my eventual spot about six back in line

This being a Tim Burton film, you could literally have anything from a giant kettle to a table lamp and it would be just as plausibly relevant. Here? A llama. Outstanding! One of the few things I was able to see from my eventual spot about six back in line

I like to think one of these two really IS Johnny Depp, here early to jam with the fans to pass the time before the event. (In fact, this theory is sufficiently compelling that I’m going to run with it. He’s the one on the right, I have decided)

I like to think one of these two really IS Johnny Depp, here early to jam with the fans to pass the time before the event. (In fact, this theory is sufficiently compelling that I’m going to run with it. He’s the one on the right, I have decided)

You've probably realised by now that I'm showing a lot more photos from before the premiere than usual. Yeah, there's a reason for that. Still you have to concede that this movie poster is prettier than the Johnny Depp one with the face paint and the orange and the contact lenses and the freakish grin. (Your taste may vary, of course)

You've probably realised by now that I'm showing a lot more photos from before the premiere than usual. Yeah, there's a reason for that. Still you have to concede that this movie poster is prettier than the Johnny Depp one with the face paint and the orange and the contact lenses and the freakish grin. (Your taste may vary, of course)

Several hours later, and we begin, with me about six rows back on a stool (since banned) that can clear heads and handheld cameras but not umbrellas.... the premiere begins..

 

Rain. Mist. Clouds. Crowds. Fog. Umbrellas. Is this how my London premiere career ends? (Answer : no... there's one more premiere after this but it's so small I originally didn't even give it a journal. Plus the premiere of Wall Street 2 Money Never Sleeps" was scheduled for the day I flew back from Stockholm over a month from now... but that never happened. But then... other things did)

Rain. Mist. Clouds. Crowds. Fog. Umbrellas. Is this how my London premiere career ends? (Answer : no... there's one more premiere after this but it's so small I originally didn't even give it a journal. Plus the premiere of Wall Street 2 Money Never Sleeps" was scheduled for the day I flew back from Stockholm over a month from now... but that never happened. But then... other things did)

.And here's Tim Burton, one of those directors where no matter how freaky the movie is, you really have nobody to blame but yourself if you don’t like it. For every Batman there’s a Mars Attacks, and for every Edward Scissorhands there’s a Planet of the Apes remake. Visually, though, you're guaranteed a quirky ol' time.

.And here's Tim Burton, one of those directors where no matter how freaky the movie is, you really have nobody to blame but yourself if you don’t like it. For every Batman there’s a Mars Attacks, and for every Edward Scissorhands there’s a Planet of the Apes remake. Visually, though, you're guaranteed a quirky ol' time.

I like to think that if you found somebody who’d watched the films of, but didn’t actually know what Tim Burton looked like, and you showed them this photo, they’d nod and say that’s pretty much exactly what they thought he’d look like

I like to think that if you found somebody who’d watched the films of, but didn’t actually know what Tim Burton looked like, and you showed them this photo, they’d nod and say that’s pretty much exactly what they thought he’d look like

Helena Bonham-Carter plays the Red Queen in the film. I just watched the trailer and … yeah… she really did shave off her eyebrows for the role! But I'm hoping the flamingoes she plays croquet with were suitably tranquilised. Otherwise that would just be cruel.

Helena Bonham-Carter plays the Red Queen in the film. I just watched the trailer and … yeah… she really did shave off her eyebrows for the role! But I'm hoping the flamingoes she plays croquet with were suitably tranquilised. Otherwise that would just be cruel.

Tim Burton, shot around overlapping fans, their mobile phones, their point-and-shoots, their umbrellas, their autograph books and the rain. (They don't give out medals or knighthoods for civilian premiere photography, sadly.)

Tim Burton, shot around overlapping fans, their mobile phones, their point-and-shoots, their umbrellas, their autograph books and the rain. (They don't give out medals or knighthoods for civilian premiere photography, sadly.)

Okay, Fine. Planet of the Apes wasn’t _that_ bad. (Good closing credits music, at any rate - Danny Elfman rocks!)

Okay, Fine. Planet of the Apes wasn’t _that_ bad. (Good closing credits music, at any rate - Danny Elfman rocks!)

Pentax autofocus? Fail = epic!  Oh well, it’s not like Anne Hathaway pretty or anything.….

Pentax autofocus? Fail = epic! Oh well, it’s not like Anne Hathaway pretty or anything.….

…Oh wait. I’m thinking of   Steve   Hathaway, a truck driver from Norfolk. Yeah, Anne Hathaway is fairly pretty. Also... rain, huh?

…Oh wait. I’m thinking of Steve Hathaway, a truck driver from Norfolk. Yeah, Anne Hathaway is fairly pretty. Also... rain, huh?

And then Johnny Depp arrived, and my camera (which I’m now *certain* is female) got so excited that she/it totally forgot that she/it can shoot at three frames per second, instead settling for a more devastating… one per second.

And then Johnny Depp arrived, and my camera (which I’m now *certain* is female) got so excited that she/it totally forgot that she/it can shoot at three frames per second, instead settling for a more devastating… one per second.

And this is the other shot, after which Depp waved, bowed, then walked off to be  *awesome*  elsewhere. (He’s Johnny Depp. What can  I  do?)  But feel free to console yourself with a couple of  Johnny Depp photos taken last year's premiere of "Public Enemies"

And this is the other shot, after which Depp waved, bowed, then walked off to be *awesome* elsewhere. (He’s Johnny Depp. What can I do?)

But feel free to console yourself with a couple of Johnny Depp photos taken last year's premiere of "Public Enemies"

So anyway, back to Anne Hathaway, who is pretty, and starred in  “The Devil Wears Prada” . (It’s a film that my sister convinced me to go see with her, and I didn’t object to quite as much as I might have had it  not  starred Anne Hathaway.)

So anyway, back to Anne Hathaway, who is pretty, and starred in “The Devil Wears Prada”. (It’s a film that my sister convinced me to go see with her, and I didn’t object to quite as much as I might have had it not starred Anne Hathaway.)

If you're a guy who hasn't seen  The Devil Wears Prada , it bears a striking similarity to  Star Wars  in some ways... or from a certain point of view.

If you're a guy who hasn't seen The Devil Wears Prada, it bears a striking similarity to Star Wars in some ways... or from a certain point of view.

"Tim Burton also directed a Planet of the Apes film??"

"Tim Burton also directed a Planet of the Apes film??"

I promise you that if Tim Burton had lingered longer, and Helena Bonham Carter hadn't done her interviews blocked by aides and hangers on, and Mia Wasikowski hadn't arrived later and if Johnny Depp wasn't over there... like... _somewhere_ (points), I'd be posting at lot less photos of Anne Hathaway. (Well... maybe. Have you *SEEN* her recent(sh) GQ cover shot??).

I promise you that if Tim Burton had lingered longer, and Helena Bonham Carter hadn't done her interviews blocked by aides and hangers on, and Mia Wasikowski hadn't arrived later and if Johnny Depp wasn't over there... like... _somewhere_ (points), I'd be posting at lot less photos of Anne Hathaway. (Well... maybe. Have you *SEEN* her recent(sh) GQ cover shot??).

Comedian Matt Lucas plays either Tweedledee or Tweedledum in the film (or both, perhaps – it’s the digital age of cinema, did you know?). I know little about him, but since he did block (yet more!) views of Anne Hathaway, all I can say definitely is that he's not transparent.

Comedian Matt Lucas plays either Tweedledee or Tweedledum in the film (or both, perhaps – it’s the digital age of cinema, did you know?). I know little about him, but since he did block (yet more!) views of Anne Hathaway, all I can say definitely is that he's not transparent.

... and now he's conspiring to block off even more people? See... now this is just unlucky! (Helena Bonham-Carter and an umbrella handle...)

... and now he's conspiring to block off even more people? See... now this is just unlucky! (Helena Bonham-Carter and an umbrella handle...)

For no readily apparent reason, former teen singing-sensation and now twentysomething singer Avril Levigne showed up, standing exactly where you might have wanted Johnny Depp to stand earlier. (Come baaaack!).

For no readily apparent reason, former teen singing-sensation and now twentysomething singer Avril Levigne showed up, standing exactly where you might have wanted Johnny Depp to stand earlier. (Come baaaack!).

Actress Mia Wasikowska plays ‘Alice’ in the film. She’s Australian, and…. what, you couldn’t tell by the name?

Actress Mia Wasikowska plays ‘Alice’ in the film. She’s Australian, and…. what, you couldn’t tell by the name?

And now everyone’s posing in that same spot? sigh…

And now everyone’s posing in that same spot? sigh…

By this time, feeling both wet and despondent, I decided I didn't feel like staying for Prince Charles, so I headed off, but in shifting locations I missed some other stars (d'oh!) and had no way to recover.


So....

I’ll sign off with ‘until next time’ because there’s still theoretically one more premiere I could go to next week before I leave London- a small one with no major stars that I've heard know of. (But I’ll let you know how I go photographing the Picton Rodeo in January 2011, the first big event I’m pencilling in to cover once I’m back in Australia...)

It goes to the top of "The Archive of Movie Premieres"

And, until (one perhaps last) next time!

PS. If you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieres.co

11 Feb - The 'Valentines Day' premiere (Alba! Kutcher!)

February 11th, 2010.

So few movie premieres left, so little time. However, there was one in Leicester Square last week, and I’ve waited til the last few hours of Valentines Day to post this. (It’s my kind of symmetry.... )

‘Valentines Day’ has an ensemble cast the size and scope of which is rarely seen these days. It’s the kind where you look at the listing and go  ”If none of the three lead females show up, this will be the biggest injustice since Charlize Theron didn’t show up for my last birthday party.”

‘Valentines Day’ has an ensemble cast the size and scope of which is rarely seen these days. It’s the kind where you look at the listing and go ”If none of the three lead females show up, this will be the biggest injustice since Charlize Theron didn’t show up for my last birthday party.”

What seems like moments after the last photo was taken, the sun has plummeted below the horizon and it's pitch-black. It's one thing I won't miss so much when I depart London.

What seems like moments after the last photo was taken, the sun has plummeted below the horizon and it's pitch-black. It's one thing I won't miss so much when I depart London.

First to arrive is Gary Marshall, who not only created the TV show “Happy Days” (which you're probably too young to remember) but also directed ‘Pretty Woman’, ‘Runaway Bride’, and ‘The Princess Diaries’. So, he’s probably entitled to wear a beret any time he wants.

First to arrive is Gary Marshall, who not only created the TV show “Happy Days” (which you're probably too young to remember) but also directed ‘Pretty Woman’, ‘Runaway Bride’, and ‘The Princess Diaries’. So, he’s probably entitled to wear a beret any time he wants.

Actress Demi Moore isn't in the film, but also dropped by as Ashton Kutcher's +1. She didn’t linger long, though – it really wasn’t the weather for it. Basically, unless you were in the movie, or a fan in the crowd, or a meteorologist on a field trip, you'd want to be indoors.

Actress Demi Moore isn't in the film, but also dropped by as Ashton Kutcher's +1. She didn’t linger long, though – it really wasn’t the weather for it. Basically, unless you were in the movie, or a fan in the crowd, or a meteorologist on a field trip, you'd want to be indoors.

Emma Roberts is the niece of actress Julia Roberts (‘Erin Brokovich’, ‘Pretty Woman’, possibly an uncredited role in ‘Black Hawk Down’... unless I just made that last one up…)

Emma Roberts is the niece of actress Julia Roberts (‘Erin Brokovich’, ‘Pretty Woman’, possibly an uncredited role in ‘Black Hawk Down’... unless I just made that last one up…)

"What the hell is "We're The Millers". If you're time-traveling to London premieres from the future, please don't pollute the timeline by getting stars to sign DVD covers to movies they haven't yet acted in. If you're visiting 2010, why not track down a copy of 'Nancy Drew (2007)'? It won't be easy, but at least there's still HMV stores in London in 2010....

"What the hell is "We're The Millers". If you're time-traveling to London premieres from the future, please don't pollute the timeline by getting stars to sign DVD covers to movies they haven't yet acted in. If you're visiting 2010, why not track down a copy of 'Nancy Drew (2007)'? It won't be easy, but at least there's still HMV stores in London in 2010....

Batman really wanted to earn some money on the side…  Check out the chin on the chauffeur, and actress Jessica Alba at the back! Staggering.

Batman really wanted to earn some money on the side… Check out the chin on the chauffeur, and actress Jessica Alba at the back! Staggering.

Jessica Alba signs autographs, in a dress that just screams ‘hypothermia imminent’. I’d have offered her my jacket, but, you know… security guards and restraining orders and all that.

Jessica Alba signs autographs, in a dress that just screams ‘hypothermia imminent’. I’d have offered her my jacket, but, you know… security guards and restraining orders and all that.

” If you think this autograph will be recognisable enough to sell on ebay when I can't even feel my arms right now, you're more optimistic than I am”

” If you think this autograph will be recognisable enough to sell on ebay when I can't even feel my arms right now, you're more optimistic than I am”

"Fine... I"ll risk yet more hypothermia by going back and putting a dot on the 'i" in Jessica. Hope you appreciate it..."  (I'd be signing everything "J.A" if I was feeling generous... "J" under all other reasonable circumstances, myself).

"Fine... I"ll risk yet more hypothermia by going back and putting a dot on the 'i" in Jessica. Hope you appreciate it..." (I'd be signing everything "J.A" if I was feeling generous... "J" under all other reasonable circumstances, myself).

"I once wore a suit with shoulderpads THIS BIG!!"  Ashton Kutcher’s choice of clothing gives you an idea of the kind of weather we're talking about.

"I once wore a suit with shoulderpads THIS BIG!!" Ashton Kutcher’s choice of clothing gives you an idea of the kind of weather we're talking about.

Kutcher and Alba, being interviewed. I didn’t catch the questions or the answers, but at least Jessica Alba had put on a coat by then.

Kutcher and Alba, being interviewed. I didn’t catch the questions or the answers, but at least Jessica Alba had put on a coat by then.

Ashton Kutcher looks over his shoulder in a very Kutcher-esque way, while the dude on the right who accompanied Jessica Alba tries but entirely fails to look disconcertingly casual, instead veering into  ‘pull out a gun, freaked out’  territory.

Ashton Kutcher looks over his shoulder in a very Kutcher-esque way, while the dude on the right who accompanied Jessica Alba tries but entirely fails to look disconcertingly casual, instead veering into ‘pull out a gun, freaked out’ territory.

Jessica Alba has clearly reached some kind of zen state, while her accompanying guy/dude/security/valet makes yet another amusing face.

Jessica Alba has clearly reached some kind of zen state, while her accompanying guy/dude/security/valet makes yet another amusing face.

… and then the random Jessica Alba Acolyte decides to get his head in the middle of this shot for no reason I can determine. Thanks, man!

… and then the random Jessica Alba Acolyte decides to get his head in the middle of this shot for no reason I can determine. Thanks, man!

To properly do justice to the cool look of serenity on Jessica Alba’s face, I just know it’s going to take me hours to properly edit out the ‘nameless evil’ woman behind her. (Who *are* these people hanging around Jessica Alba?? Couldn't they spoil photos of Topher Grace instead??)

To properly do justice to the cool look of serenity on Jessica Alba’s face, I just know it’s going to take me hours to properly edit out the ‘nameless evil’ woman behind her. (Who *are* these people hanging around Jessica Alba?? Couldn't they spoil photos of Topher Grace instead??)

Actor Topher Grace played the lead charcter in the TV series ‘That 70s Show’, which I never watched, and the role of ‘Venom’ in Spiderman3, which I loathed. Still… uh… nice suit, from what I can see of it!

Actor Topher Grace played the lead charcter in the TV series ‘That 70s Show’, which I never watched, and the role of ‘Venom’ in Spiderman3, which I loathed. Still… uh… nice suit, from what I can see of it!

"Spider-Man 3? I barely remember it, if I'm honest. Was Kirsten Dunst kidnapped or endangered by the main bad guy in that one? " Dude... she was kidnapped or endangered by the bad guy in EVERY Spider-Man movie...

"Spider-Man 3? I barely remember it, if I'm honest. Was Kirsten Dunst kidnapped or endangered by the main bad guy in that one?" Dude... she was kidnapped or endangered by the bad guy in EVERY Spider-Man movie...

Jessica Alba tries to remain calm upon learning that despite playing the character of ‘The Invisible Woman’ in two ‘Fantastic Four’ films, the audience was actually able to see her.

Jessica Alba tries to remain calm upon learning that despite playing the character of ‘The Invisible Woman’ in two ‘Fantastic Four’ films, the audience was actually able to see her.

”‘Topher’ is a killer first name and you gotta respect that.”

”‘Topher’ is a killer first name and you gotta respect that.”

Actor Hector Elizondo (centre-ish, side/back-lit) played the ?hotel manager? in the film ‘Pretty Woman’ (as well as a doctor in 141 episodes of the TV Drama Chicago Hope, apparently). His film credits date back to the 1960s and ALL I remember him from is a couple of small scenes in Pretty Woman (though again, in my defence, that movie had very few helicopter gunship battles)

Actor Hector Elizondo (centre-ish, side/back-lit) played the ?hotel manager? in the film ‘Pretty Woman’ (as well as a doctor in 141 episodes of the TV Drama Chicago Hope, apparently). His film credits date back to the 1960s and ALL I remember him from is a couple of small scenes in Pretty Woman (though again, in my defence, that movie had very few helicopter gunship battles)

I've decided, right here and right now (sort of... I'm typing this in 2014) that if your name is "Hector" I'm always going to make sure you get at least two photos in any premiere journal. A quick look at imdb reveals this should occur very infrequently.

I've decided, right here and right now (sort of... I'm typing this in 2014) that if your name is "Hector" I'm always going to make sure you get at least two photos in any premiere journal. A quick look at imdb reveals this should occur very infrequently.

This photo is more about the expression of the lady on the right than the celeb on the left. (Feel free to make up your own back-story, but mine involves a cache of weapons and Robert Downey Jnr.)

This photo is more about the expression of the lady on the right than the celeb on the left. (Feel free to make up your own back-story, but mine involves a cache of weapons and Robert Downey Jnr.)

Two of the five members of the girl band ‘The Saturdays’ showed up. They were late. Or early, given this was a Thursday (okay, I apologise for this attempt at humour... it was uncalled for).

Two of the five members of the girl band ‘The Saturdays’ showed up. They were late. Or early, given this was a Thursday (okay, I apologise for this attempt at humour... it was uncalled for).

I don't know who this is.. but I photographed her twice just to make sure.

I don't know who this is.. but I photographed her twice just to make sure.

Although any premiere attended by Jessica Alba is by default a very good premiere, a look at the film poster showing all the major cast members shows why there might have been cause for disappointment. Hey, I'm a MASSIVE Taylor Swift fan.

Although any premiere attended by Jessica Alba is by default a very good premiere, a look at the film poster showing all the major cast members shows why there might have been cause for disappointment. Hey, I'm a MASSIVE Taylor Swift fan.

So… that’s that… and I hope y’all had a happy Valentines Day, whether it involved movies, human interaction or... merely a cup of coffee (or something equally innocuous).

Until one of the few remaining ‘next times’,

Catch ya!

PS. If you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieres.co

4 Feb - The 'Malice in Wonderland' premiere

February 4th, 2010.

For the second time this week, I went to a movie premiere that wasn't listed on the Big Three websites I usually rely upon to tell me about these things. Unlike the other one, though, this one was small. And the cinema was a largely unknown one off Leicester Square called The Prince Charles. How did it work out?

A bit like this…

*"Breathless : Coming Soon"*  Yes, but this premiere was for 'Malice in Wonderland'. This may give you an idea of the level of size premiere we're talking about here.

*"Breathless : Coming Soon"* Yes, but this premiere was for 'Malice in Wonderland'. This may give you an idea of the level of size premiere we're talking about here.

The assembled throng. Let's say it was considerably more 'intimate' than the premiere for  "A Single Man". (But then again that one had Colin Firth, Liz Hurley and some weird Romanian Vampire) .

The assembled throng. Let's say it was considerably more 'intimate' than the premiere for "A Single Man". (But then again that one had Colin Firth, Liz Hurley and some weird Romanian Vampire).

It's…. It's…. That Guy! (His name is Nathaniel Parker, per wireimage. But I'll be honest, that doesn't really help me.)

It's…. It's…. That Guy! (His name is Nathaniel Parker, per wireimage. But I'll be honest, that doesn't really help me.)

Nathaniel Parker has had small roles in the films 'Stardust' and "St Trinians" as well as something called 'The Inspector Lynley Mysteries'. Hmmm. Perhaps I shouldn't judge the supposed unimpressiveness of Actors' resumes. I mean, *my* only credited role in anything was an Australian period drama called 'The Alien Years' which imdb doesn't even list me as being in. (It's true!)

Nathaniel Parker has had small roles in the films 'Stardust' and "St Trinians" as well as something called 'The Inspector Lynley Mysteries'. Hmmm. Perhaps I shouldn't judge the supposed unimpressiveness of Actors' resumes. I mean, *my* only credited role in anything was an Australian period drama called 'The Alien Years' which imdb doesn't even list me as being in. (It's true!)

"Imagine if the Child Catcher from 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' aged really well, calmed down a lot, dated for a while and eventually found himself a wife, and became an opera singer?"  (From my own notes, since neither wireimage nor gettyimages decided to identify the guy)

"Imagine if the Child Catcher from 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' aged really well, calmed down a lot, dated for a while and eventually found himself a wife, and became an opera singer?" (From my own notes, since neither wireimage nor gettyimages decided to identify the guy)

The lady in front of me with the two young kids collecting autographs on folded pieces of paper with a ballpoint pen were *very* excited, because apparently this guy is from something called 'Hollyoakes'. I've been in the UK for nearly two years, and I kind of assume Hollyoakes is some kind of calendar franchise that comes out every Christmas?

The lady in front of me with the two young kids collecting autographs on folded pieces of paper with a ballpoint pen were *very* excited, because apparently this guy is from something called 'Hollyoakes'. I've been in the UK for nearly two years, and I kind of assume Hollyoakes is some kind of calendar franchise that comes out every Christmas?

"Shonique? I can't talk right now… they're HUGGING!!"

"Shonique? I can't talk right now… they're HUGGING!!"

According to wikipedia, Dominic Littlewood is a 'British journalist, TV presenter and comedian'. Oddly, doesn't mention that the reason for his fame comes from the startling way the top half of his body can look like it's moving, while the bottom half looks like it's standing still!

According to wikipedia, Dominic Littlewood is a 'British journalist, TV presenter and comedian'. Oddly, doesn't mention that the reason for his fame comes from the startling way the top half of his body can look like it's moving, while the bottom half looks like it's standing still!

"Right now I'm being a comedian. So ... you know.... laugh. OR ELSE"

"Right now I'm being a comedian. So ... you know.... laugh. OR ELSE"

Ben just needed to check one last time to ensure the boy band he had formed was sufficiently culturally diverse to succeed...

Ben just needed to check one last time to ensure the boy band he had formed was sufficiently culturally diverse to succeed...

One of these two was famous enough to later pose for solo photos without the other one… but which one? (feel free to play along at home). I was there, and I certainly didn't know which one until it happened. (Answer below)

One of these two was famous enough to later pose for solo photos without the other one… but which one? (feel free to play along at home). I was there, and I certainly didn't know which one until it happened. (Answer below)

Our hero has arrived, and he's looking for the elusive red carpet that's nowhere to be found.

Our hero has arrived, and he's looking for the elusive red carpet that's nowhere to be found.

This will probaly have to be photo for the day, because  I caught the cigarette he was flicking in mid-flight, with vapour trail!!  . It's just by sheer coincidence that he's Danny Dyer, the lead actor in the film. Winner!

This will probaly have to be photo for the day, because I caught the cigarette he was flicking in mid-flight, with vapour trail!! . It's just by sheer coincidence that he's Danny Dyer, the lead actor in the film. Winner!

How cool are Danny Dyer and Tamer Hassan? Baby, didn't you _see_ how Dyer flicks a cigarette above? It's positively  *John-Travolta-in-Broken-Arrow-esque Awesome*

How cool are Danny Dyer and Tamer Hassan? Baby, didn't you _see_ how Dyer flicks a cigarette above? It's positively *John-Travolta-in-Broken-Arrow-esque Awesome*

"How cool are we? Very cool, thank you... how are you?"  Well.. that answers that question.

"How cool are we? Very cool, thank you... how are you?" Well.. that answers that question.

Oh, look. It's famous Movie Premiere attendee Bianca Gascoigne! (I have no idea what else she's famous for, if anything).

Oh, look. It's famous Movie Premiere attendee Bianca Gascoigne! (I have no idea what else she's famous for, if anything).

Time for another game of "which of these is famous, and which is the hanger-on?" (I guessed wrong, here. I usually do.) Answer below.

Time for another game of "which of these is famous, and which is the hanger-on?" (I guessed wrong, here. I usually do.) Answer below.

If I hadn't provided photos of a male model (and Colin Firth) in the prior movie premiere journal, I'd almost feel bad about posting this shot of Bianca Gascoigne. But you've got to acknowledge the lighting. Yes. The lighting. Incidentally, she's not my type.   Charlize Theron, if you're reading this, Bianca Gascoigne IS NOT MY TYPE

If I hadn't provided photos of a male model (and Colin Firth) in the prior movie premiere journal, I'd almost feel bad about posting this shot of Bianca Gascoigne. But you've got to acknowledge the lighting. Yes. The lighting. Incidentally, she's not my type. Charlize Theron, if you're reading this, Bianca Gascoigne IS NOT MY TYPE

Anyway, needless to say it joins "The Archive of Movie Premieres" where I hope its presence will confuse visitors for its similarity to another premiere I'm hoping to get to later this month.

And next week : A *Scheduled* premiere for once. Personally, I can't wait, but my camera is fully freaked out.

Answers:
1. The one on the right.
2. The one on the left.

PS. If you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieres.co