2 Mar - The Shouting Men Premiere

March 2nd, 2010.

I'm sitting here in 2014 having never actually done a journal for this premiere, which I went to a mere four (4) days before heading off skiing, then taking a month off to travel around Europe before taking another month off to travel around Japan before moving back to Australia.

There is a reason why, no matter how bad my memories of the Alice In Wonderland premiere were, I didn't really feel like dignifying this premiere with the status of "my last ever premiere" because (a) it was a movie about soccer, (b) that I'd never heard of, (c) attended by nobody I'd ever heard of, (d) for a film that I've never heard anything about since its premiere (I just checked its imdb score... 4.9!)... and then within five months I actually WAS at a premiere... in Sydney, Australia, that blew this one out of the water.

But I can look back at it now with a little fleeting fondness, and revisit it, and edit the photos for the first time (without using photoshops to straighten horizons, even)... and create that missing journal.

Here's how it went down..

The carpet was dumped by the entrance with 'care'.... so I guess this qualifies it as a premiere, even if Yellow Cap Guy is (sadly) not in attendance for my final London premiere before I ship out back to Convict Land (via

The carpet was dumped by the entrance with 'care'.... so I guess this qualifies it as a premiere, even if Yellow Cap Guy is (sadly) not in attendance for my final London premiere before I ship out back to Convict Land (via

"She be a fine carpet. I say we don't let a soul walk upon her..."

"She be a fine carpet. I say we don't let a soul walk upon her..."

Can't tell if famous, but walking on carpet mean you've got access (unless security charge and crash-tackle you).

Can't tell if famous, but walking on carpet mean you've got access (unless security charge and crash-tackle you).

This? Wireimage informs me is P.H.Moriarty, and PJ Moriarty? imdb informs me, is an actor who has had roles in such diverse films as Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels and Jaws 3-D... well... wow. All these years I'd assumed he'd been a player for Gillingham FC, the club whose fans the movie is about.

This? Wireimage informs me is P.H.Moriarty, and PJ Moriarty? imdb informs me, is an actor who has had roles in such diverse films as Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels and Jaws 3-D... well... wow. All these years I'd assumed he'd been a player for Gillingham FC, the club whose fans the movie is about.

Much more exciting (perhaps) than him not being a football / soccer player OR in this movie for which he's attending the premiere... wikipedia doesn't actually tell you what the letters "P" and "H" in "P.H.Moriarty" stand for... and imdb will only provide that the "P" is for "Patrick". So... any guesses as to the "H"? I refuse to do any research on this, as the solving of the mystery will remove 'the magic'.

Much more exciting (perhaps) than him not being a football / soccer player OR in this movie for which he's attending the premiere... wikipedia doesn't actually tell you what the letters "P" and "H" in "P.H.Moriarty" stand for... and imdb will only provide that the "P" is for "Patrick". So... any guesses as to the "H"? I refuse to do any research on this, as the solving of the mystery will remove 'the magic'.

We now move on to the random 'we're here to entertain you as part of the promotion activity for this film' segment of the premiere. I already pre-emptively miss DJ Impact, who will show up later in these journals as a rapper/emcee whose job it is to hype up the crowds at premieres. Still.. soccerball juggling beats.... staring at a bit of uncarpeted ground for ten minutes.... I guess.

We now move on to the random 'we're here to entertain you as part of the promotion activity for this film' segment of the premiere. I already pre-emptively miss DJ Impact, who will show up later in these journals as a rapper/emcee whose job it is to hype up the crowds at premieres. Still.. soccerball juggling beats.... staring at a bit of uncarpeted ground for ten minutes.... I guess.

P.H.Moriarty returns and brings accompaniment : the guy from earlier, who is now revealed to be "Sir Geoff Hurst". Off to wikipedia I go, then... (as for straightening that horizon like somebody with pride in their photography? NEVER!)

P.H.Moriarty returns and brings accompaniment : the guy from earlier, who is now revealed to be "Sir Geoff Hurst". Off to wikipedia I go, then... (as for straightening that horizon like somebody with pride in their photography? NEVER!)

I've crushed that composition if I do say so myself, and in addition to this, wikipedia reveals that SIR Geoffrey Hurst is a former soccer player who remains the only person to score a Hat-Trick in a world cup final, doing so in England's 1966 victory over West Germany. That makes him a pretty big deal, then... however I'm both just German-born enough to be kind of 'meh'... and very much Australian-enough to both (a) insist on calling the sport 'soccer' and (b) not caring overmuch. Still... well played (44 years ago), Sir (SIR).

I've crushed that composition if I do say so myself, and in addition to this, wikipedia reveals that SIR Geoffrey Hurst is a former soccer player who remains the only person to score a Hat-Trick in a world cup final, doing so in England's 1966 victory over West Germany. That makes him a pretty big deal, then... however I'm both just German-born enough to be kind of 'meh'... and very much Australian-enough to both (a) insist on calling the sport 'soccer' and (b) not caring overmuch. Still... well played (44 years ago), Sir (SIR).

"Hector? Helios? Hernandez?...... Helmut???" "No, not Helmut" "Pity."

"Hector? Helios? Hernandez?...... Helmut???"
"No, not Helmut"
"Pity."

Not so much a Johnny Depp-sized premiere, then...

Not so much a Johnny Depp-sized premiere, then...

I think you'll acknowledge that it's highly necessary for me to fulfill my 'minimum one female quotient' requirement I just initiated... and I'm pretty confident that this is one. Wireimage identifies her as Lara Lewington, and that's really all I need at this point.

I think you'll acknowledge that it's highly necessary for me to fulfill my 'minimum one female quotient' requirement I just initiated... and I'm pretty confident that this is one. Wireimage identifies her as Lara Lewington, and that's really all I need at this point.

"Guys? I'm going to take a read on the vibe of this premiere and say outright : I don't think we should be Shouting Men tonight". An entirely quiet Paparazzi box would be quite a unique development...

"Guys? I'm going to take a read on the vibe of this premiere and say outright : I don't think we should be Shouting Men tonight". An entirely quiet Paparazzi box would be quite a unique development...

"Guys? I'm thinking we might have been hasty in judging the vibe". Time to become Shouting Men, Men. (Start with "over your left shoulder, daaaaaarling". That often seems to work)

"Guys? I'm thinking we might have been hasty in judging the vibe". Time to become Shouting Men, Men. (Start with "over your left shoulder, daaaaaarling". That often seems to work)

I don't know who this is, and for imdb this is such a small movie that not even the director's bio has a photo. So until I'm told otherwise, I'm proclaiming this man Director Steve Kelly. Oh, and the lady in the prior photo is "Millie Clode" in case you're interested. Wikipedia informs me she got married in February 2011, so if you're going to time travel back to March 2010, you might still have a chance)

I don't know who this is, and for imdb this is such a small movie that not even the director's bio has a photo. So until I'm told otherwise, I'm proclaiming this man Director Steve Kelly. Oh, and the lady in the prior photo is "Millie Clode" in case you're interested. Wikipedia informs me she got married in February 2011, so if you're going to time travel back to March 2010, you might still have a chance)

Please don't get briefly excited and then disappointed when I note that this attendee is positively identified as "Billy Murray". That's... BILLY MURRAY, not the more famous BILL MURRAY, who was in Ghostbusters and The Fantastic Mr Fox.

Please don't get briefly excited and then disappointed when I note that this attendee is positively identified as "Billy Murray". That's... BILLY MURRAY, not the more famous BILL MURRAY, who was in Ghostbusters and The Fantastic Mr Fox.

I'm actually mildly impressed that beyond the soccer-skillz dudez from above, there was actually a secondary promotional element to this premiere : girls with Wicked Witch Of The East socks and tops with "The Shouting Men" printed on them. It's the third thing I noticed after the Ben&Jerry and Pepsi signs.. but then I'm not that observant.

I'm actually mildly impressed that beyond the soccer-skillz dudez from above, there was actually a secondary promotional element to this premiere : girls with Wicked Witch Of The East socks and tops with "The Shouting Men" printed on them. It's the third thing I noticed after the Ben&Jerry and Pepsi signs.. but then I'm not that observant.

And so... for the first time EVER, this premiere is acknowledged and WILL be part of the Archive of Movie Premieres, complete with a link.

And because I'm sitting here in 2014 and know that this is NOT the end, I kind of CAN do what I wouldn't have done back in March 2010, and concluded this journal with...

... until next time (in Sydney!)

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