May 15th, 2017.
Last year, I photographed the TV Baftas from outside the event, and given my weekends remain cheerfully free of supermodels yearning for my companionship, I was happy to go this year. And even with the nifty plastic and branded wristband (#180) on my wrist this year, I was going to do it from outside the event again.
Here's how it went down:
The platform on the yellow staircase is where I shot last year's TV Baftas from, and nobody seemed to mind having me stand there with my ... erm... discreet 70-200mm lens.
Distressingly, this is the view from the stairs. Those white marquees? They weren't there last year. That empty space on the right? That was a fan pen last year. Clearly last year's spot wasn't going to be this year's spot.
So I shifted position : still outside the event, but at the lower levels at the end of the red carpet drop-off, under a bridge/overpass (it's sexier than it sounds).
Our first arrival is almost incognito: Sean Bean, of Game of Thrones and "dies in almost every movie he's in" fame. (Spoiler : I last photographed him at the premiere of 'The Martian' a few years ago, and he doesn't die in that).
"These stairs coming up are going to be trouble in these new shoes of mine... you're probably wearing sneakers under that dress..." Jared Harris is possibly still best known for being Moriarty in the Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes film(s).
I'm not sure who Amy Nuttall is (beyond the name, I mean), but wireimage.com felt it was worth posting her picture and identifying her (and they pay their photographers).
If I were the kind of person who'd admit to knowing who Ed Westwick was because in the dim dark past, I watched maybe a couple of seasons of Gossip Girl.. then I'd have to admit I watched maybe a couple of seasons of Gossip Girl. And why would I do that?
Argh, I keep forgetting who this gentleman is. I'm going to go with 'Steve' because that's my standby name for everyone, regardless of gender or ethnicity.
Michael Collins was the guy who remained in orbit while Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were the first and second men on the moon in 1969. But this is Michelle Collins.
"If anyone steps on this dress, they're going to find out why I'm happy that this is a red carpet". I don't know who Roxanne Pallett is, but there's enough room under that dress to hide any number of weapons.
Oh, look! It's... umm.... Steve? (I got nothing)
'Three flights of stairs and a gauntlet of autograph dealers? This had better be worth it' - Fortunately the randomly photographed Charlie Brooker did win a Bafta on the evening- for Comedy and Entertainment Programme
Test shot on the off-chance anyone on the staircase landing across from me deigns to turn to their right and acknowledge the crowd like.. umm.... Steve here did.
(Edited to add : 'Steve' is Victoria Derbyshire, and she won a Bafta for 'Best News Broadcast")
"What do you mean I missed Sean Bean??" - rather oddly, the dishevelled and incognitoSean Bean did leave the Baftas, to head elsewhere and do other more important things, possibly.
"I would have dressed up more, but ... you know... stairs. And effort." Joanna Lumley, best known for Absolutely Fabulous (the TV series, and arguably last year's movie) has arrived.
"I'm under-dressed, says the guy wearing an LA cap, jeans and a Transformers t-shirt" - hey, I wore that t-shirt ironically. And under a leather jacket. (edited to add : Joana Lumley was the recipient of a Bafta Fellowship on the night)
"My dress patterns can't cure astigmatism, Harold. My assistant was kidding" I don't know who Michaela Coel is, but the dress is, if nothing, very easy for my autofocus system to catch on to.
One of the people I most wanted to photograph at this event (even despite not having watched Third Rock From The Sun OR been a fan of Buckaroo Banzai) has arrived - it's John Lithgow!! It's true. I'm a bigger fan of the Stallone film 'Cliffhanger' than I ordinarily let on.
"Greetings, lesser beings. Your primitive ways continue to amuse me"
After many years living in this strange country I continue to find myself in, I'm not yet fully capable of understanding the precise cultural importance of Holly Willoughby. I suspect if I watched TV more frequently, the mystery might reveal itself.
Anthony McPartlin and Declan Donnelly are better known as Ant And Dec, and apparently there's a TV Bafta with their name on it that they win every year. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal. And they won it again this year.
(edited to add : the award in question is the Best Entertainment Program award; however they addtionally won the award for Best Live Event for the Queen's 90th Birthday)
"Oh, come on, you can smile more cheesily than that!" - I know that this is Alan Carr, because I've heard him interviewed on radio once or twice.
"Bafta Umbrellas coming through -and I'm authorised to shove anyone C-List or below out of the way to make sure nobody important gets wet!!" -meanwhile, the spot I'm standing on is fully undecover (woohoo!).
"I don't need no stinkin' umbrella". I don't know who Siobhan Finneran is (but thanks, wireimage.com, for your useful image identification), but she doesn't need your stinkin' umbrella. (edited to add : she's part of the TV series "Happy Valley" which won Best Drama on the night)
"The black tie goes well with... uh...." Jim Sturgess
Katie Piper (about whom I know nothing except her name and that her dress has somehow swallowed one of her legs) has arrived.
Apparently Ed Balls is famous... for something? I mean, his partner's dress is awesome and the dancing pose is neat, but apparently HE's the one that everyone around me is excited about seeing? I get that his name is intrinsically funny, but other than that...?
"OMG it's raining in London?! What are the odds!!?"
Up until two days ago, I had no idea who Wayne Sleep was - now all of a sudden I've photographed him twice - today, and (more poorly) at the premiere of "Interlude in Prague" last Friday.
"No, Denise, You can't 'make a mint' selling umbrellas to 'loaded A- and B- listers'. That's not how this works. Maybe you can angle for a generous tip - MAYBE - but that's all"
"Not one of you people who organised the umbrellas considered that women might be wearing dresses bigger than a tight swimsuit to this event?"
I vaguely recall having photographed Emily Berrington before, but at 24mins past midnight I'm struggling to remember much, including why I don't have anything even slightly caffeinated in my apartment at this time.
"I could give you my umbrella if you like? Then you'd have two and wouldn't get wet no matter how hard it rained. Of course, I'd have to hold your handbags for you, which I'd be ever so pleased to do. Though I realise now it would get wet because I no longer have an umbrella with which to keep it dry. Damnit... this romance thing is HARD". Tis true.
The imdb swears that Ophelia Lovibond played the role of The Collector's assistant in Guardians of the Galaxy (?), but I'm still to busy puzzling over whether the dress she's wearing is structurally possible in this rain. Or whether it needs it to survive.
Danny Dyer is too cool for umbreallas. Or waving properly.
I'm ninety percent certain that I photographed this lady at LAST YEAR's TV Baftas, but I'm only about forty percent certain I'm capable of accurately assessing percentage likelihoods this time.
David Haye is or was a heavyweight boxer, so I'm going to avoid writing anything that might filter back to him that might raise his ire. (Even if he did lose his last couple of title fights.)
I don't know who these people are, but there was a ripple of recognition among the people surrounding me that appeared genuine AND connected to their arrival (and not, say, a delayed post-John Lithgow aftershock)
I don't know who this is either, but he looks like the kind of person who would be unforgiving if he ever found out I photographed him and didn't post the photo.
OMG I know who Joan Collins is. She was in TV in the 1980s. Which... I probably shouldn't have admitted to knowing.
I've never had a lot of luck photographing Thandie Newton, which would be a shame if it wasn't that after I'd watched more movies, I stopped mistaking Naomie Harris for Thandie Newton.
"The rain has shrunk my dress in the most unexpectedly awesome way. What do I do?" - I don't know who Jodie Comer is. Not until After That Dress, I mean.
"Hey aren't you that guy from premieres.co?" Cuba Gooding Jnr probably didn't ask that, but at the distance I was shooting, it's not entirely certain that he didn't. (edited to add : he accepted the award for The People vs OJ Simpson, which won for 'International' on the night)
"My lawyers are going to have words with you about implied endorsements, man..."
I've photographed people with the first name Charlotte, and the surname Hawkins before, but never a person with both at the same time : ie, this is Charlotte Hawkins
Wow. It's Charlotte Riley. I've photographed people with the same first name as her mere moments ago!
"I'm not a real royal. You don't all have to protect me from the commoners" Claire Foy is best known currently for being in "The Crown", a TV series which actually had a Leicester Square premiere last year.
"Good call distracting them with "OMG Matt Smith just went up those stairs" " - Matt Smith is also in The Crown, as well as having been a prior incarnation of Dr Who.
"Feel free to use this for one of those 'insert caption here' competitions"
I'm almost sad that for the first time in quite a few Awards events, I didn't manage to photograph Benedict Cumberbatch pointing at his watch and saying he couldn't stay as he had better places to be. But I think this pose pretty much implies that.
"No, seriously, I can't stay. They're serving free drinks inside, and even if they weren't I still wouldn't stay. In the nicest sense, of course" - (I last photographed Benedict Cumberbatch - somewhat poorly - at the non-premiere for Disney/Marvel's Doctor Strange last year)
Generally speaking, when Benedict Cumberbatch arrives it's basically time to go home. In this case, that meant passing by a pedestrian bridge with a view of the stars posing for the Paparazzi. So I decided to hang there for a bit.
I don't know who Jessica Raine is.
"I don't want to be seen to tell you what to do, but the dozens and dozens of paparazzi opposite will swear at us both if you don't stand here, and we'll feel be made to feel bad, and nobody wants that."
I don't know who Rob Delaney is, but I feel those sideburns need to be photographed regardless of who's wearing them.
"Look, the dress is somewhat tight and it has been raining a bit... so can we have some decorum? Failing that, can we keep the whistling in a lower octave than you've been using?" - Vanessa Kirby is also best known for being in The Crown, where she plays Princess Margaret.
Agyness Deyn is usually wearing more colour and blonde hair if memory serves me correctly (the 2015 BIFAs was the last event I photographed her), but I'm assured this is her
"She's not the real Queen, silly. Still... best to bow and be sure I suppose"
"I've forgotten how to do that hand-wavy thing they had me do in that Marvel movie... and I don't smoke a pipe like Sherlock. So hopefully you know me from... like... 'Creation' or 'The Imitation Game' or something?"
"Thanks for the well-wishes. I'll pass them on to Marvel directly"
"Please go easy on her, she merely hasn't been in a Marvel or DC franchise film YET" - there's still time for us all really. This is Anna Friel.
"I went home but I couldn't find the Chainmail from Game of Thrones. So I had to throw on this thing" ... and amazingly, the last person I photographed was the same person I first photographed at this event : Sean Bean.
So... that was pretty decent for an event photographed from a vantagepoint I hadn't even considered even a few hours before. Perhaps last year's TV Baftas were slightly more 'elevated', and the year before that in 2015 I actually photographed the event from INSIDE the event, but all in all it was fun, and worth going into The Archive of Movie Premieres.
Until next time!
ps. if you ever want to read this far down one of my journal entries you'll find an invitation (a plea, really) to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at @berndt2_photo - that way you can always find out when I post one of these, and write the journals on far too little sleep before going to work the next day. (wait... is it really past 1am? farq!)
Edited to add:
"The open-air bar is up there, and if you win a Bafta I promise I'll have it delivered to you personally" - edited to add : he's Adeel Akhtar, and he won the award for Leading Actor on the night.
Edited to add : Wunmi Mosaku won the best Supporting Actress award.
"This is where I'd be putting my gun if we were allowed to pack heat at these events". Edited to add : Michael McIntyre won the award for Best Entertainment Performance.
"If I hadn't lost that bet it would have been ME wearing those awesome blue shoes..". Edited to add : possibly by way of compensation, Phoebe Waller-Bridge won the Bafta for best female performance in a comedy program
"I should have worn a tie. A scarf. Even one of those ridiculous chandelier things"
"Yeah, but if you win it'll make you look even classier to have underplayed the event" - edited to add : and indeed, Sarah Lancashire won the award for Leading Actress
(I think I missed Best Actor Tom Hollander)