Phoebe Waller-Bridge

The 2019 Television Baftas, Royal Festival Hall

May 12th, 2019.

Like every year for the past several that it’s been held at Royal Festival Hall, I eschewed getting a wristband in favour of shooting the event from OUTSIDE the event. And this year that decision proved slightly more well-founded, as the fine folk at Bafta reduced the number of wristbands handed out from ‘north of 300’ as in prior years to ‘less than 150’, for reasons that I think summarise to “f&&k you, we’re BAFTA”. And… fair enough, insofar as maintaining the dignity of a world-respected awards ceremony versus the expected influx of Autograph Dealers and other undesirables.

Needless to say, the Autograph Dealers STILL got most of the wristbands; while I got semi-drunk on beers and cider in a bar, waiting for a time closer to the 5:00 o’clock start of arrivals.

Here’s how it went down:

The layout of the ‘balcony’ of Royal Festival Hall shows an expansive space, however the full-length pen on the far right (near the metal ‘beam’) was kept empty this year. A few years ago I was allowed to shoot from where I took this photo, but this year (like the last two years) I/we were quickly told to move on elsewhere.

The layout of the ‘balcony’ of Royal Festival Hall shows an expansive space, however the full-length pen on the far right (near the metal ‘beam’) was kept empty this year. A few years ago I was allowed to shoot from where I took this photo, but this year (like the last two years) I/we were quickly told to move on elsewhere.

My spot this year is fairly similar to last year, but slightly worse, with a slight view down to drop-off, diagonally onto the first stair landing, and perpendicular to the top of the stairs with an angled view into the event, assuming it wasn’t blocked by security, attendees, PAs, organisers, photographers, guests, hangers-on, significant others, and … I dunno, passing seagulls and ravens.

My spot this year is fairly similar to last year, but slightly worse, with a slight view down to drop-off, diagonally onto the first stair landing, and perpendicular to the top of the stairs with an angled view into the event, assuming it wasn’t blocked by security, attendees, PAs, organisers, photographers, guests, hangers-on, significant others, and … I dunno, passing seagulls and ravens.

“Do you recognise ANY of these names??” ”No… but I’m not looking at them : I’m looking at the menu for a local Mexican place I placed between the pages. Think I’ll have chicken burritors when this is done.”

“Do you recognise ANY of these names??”
”No… but I’m not looking at them : I’m looking at the menu for a local Mexican place I placed between the pages. Think I’ll have chicken burritors when this is done.”

“Possibly the dumbest idea ever for a business card…..”

“Possibly the dumbest idea ever for a business card…..”

Excellent square posture, good use of stabilisation, classy suit and even a grey tinge to the hair… I was impressed even before I saw the sombre classy BAFTA black-armband. Tres cool.

Excellent square posture, good use of stabilisation, classy suit and even a grey tinge to the hair… I was impressed even before I saw the sombre classy BAFTA black-armband. Tres cool.

Step 1 : class up your event. Step 2 : limit public wristbands. Step 3 : suits, tuxedoes, black armbands….Step 4 : co-brand with Virgin. Good call, Bafta.

Step 1 : class up your event. Step 2 : limit public wristbands. Step 3 : suits, tuxedoes, black armbands….Step 4 : co-brand with Virgin.
Good call, Bafta.

“So I said… “I don’t care if it weighs a ton in pure metal, because as long as the support struts hold and it’s floor length, I can wear rollerskates underneath and nobody will notice”  I don’t know who this is… or how her dress works with stairs, but she’s made it to the top of them somehow. (subsequently identified as : Camilla Kerslake, thanks wireimage.com)

“So I said… “I don’t care if it weighs a ton in pure metal, because as long as the support struts hold and it’s floor length, I can wear rollerskates underneath and nobody will notice”
I don’t know who this is… or how her dress works with stairs, but she’s made it to the top of them somehow.
(subsequently identified as : Camilla Kerslake, thanks wireimage.com)

“That lady’s hair is blocking views of my Art. If any of you have a sniper rifle and eliminate her, I can assure you the combined powers of the Art Community will rally behind you.”  - I’ve forgotten who he is, but I also photographed him at this year’s Olivier Awards. (edited to add : Grayson Perry)

“That lady’s hair is blocking views of my Art. If any of you have a sniper rifle and eliminate her, I can assure you the combined powers of the Art Community will rally behind you.” - I’ve forgotten who he is, but I also photographed him at this year’s Olivier Awards. (edited to add : Grayson Perry)

The event is underway, and the dropoff zone is like an airport with planes stacked for landing, dispensing their cargo to the watching eyes of the crowd, photographers and anyone coincidentally on the red carpet who has not been turfed off it for being there without authorisation.

The event is underway, and the dropoff zone is like an airport with planes stacked for landing, dispensing their cargo to the watching eyes of the crowd, photographers and anyone coincidentally on the red carpet who has not been turfed off it for being there without authorisation.

Over the years I’ve been photographing the TV Baftas while having no use for a TV License, I’ve nonetheless gained a kind of knowledge of who people in TV are without having a single clue who they are…. only because I keep photographing them at the TV Baftas. Like this lady, for example. (edited to add : Helen Worth )

Over the years I’ve been photographing the TV Baftas while having no use for a TV License, I’ve nonetheless gained a kind of knowledge of who people in TV are without having a single clue who they are…. only because I keep photographing them at the TV Baftas. Like this lady, for example.
(edited to add : Helen Worth )

“Well, the red velvet rope stops here. I for one say we set up Base Camp, and wait for Gandalf to show up and lead us the rest of the way….”  (edited to add : she’s   Annabel Jones)

“Well, the red velvet rope stops here. I for one say we set up Base Camp, and wait for Gandalf to show up and lead us the rest of the way….” (edited to add : she’s Annabel Jones)

I’m going to say this is… Charlie… something? I’d blame the sunglasses for making him harder to identify, but even I’m not convinced, and it’s way past my bedtime typing this.

I’m going to say this is… Charlie… something? I’d blame the sunglasses for making him harder to identify, but even I’m not convinced, and it’s way past my bedtime typing this.

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, Miss. This ISN’T a bow-tie, it’s actually an interconnected duo of Mobius Strips which…. oh, I see. I’ve taken this obsession too far and now it’s cost me dearly…”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, Miss. This ISN’T a bow-tie, it’s actually an interconnected duo of Mobius Strips which…. oh, I see. I’ve taken this obsession too far and now it’s cost me dearly…”

This is either Ant and Dec… or I’ve done the unthinkable and placed them in a picture in the wrong sequence. (edited to add : correct sequence!)

This is either Ant and Dec… or I’ve done the unthinkable and placed them in a picture in the wrong sequence. (edited to add : correct sequence!)

“If that’s the biggest of your problems, then indeed you must have very few problems” . All true until you live on my train line and need to get home on time on a Sunday. Or any day.

“If that’s the biggest of your problems, then indeed you must have very few problems”.
All true until you live on my train line and need to get home on time on a Sunday. Or any day.

“No, Ma’am. I am not ‘That Guy’ from ‘That Thing’. You almost certainly have me mistaken for someone else”

“No, Ma’am. I am not ‘That Guy’ from ‘That Thing’. You almost certainly have me mistaken for someone else”

The inner 13yr old girl in me has just realised a lifelong dream and finally photographed Matt and Luke Goss from the band BROS!!! (They’re British, but they were big in Australia too back in the day, or so the inner 13yr old girl tells me. I don’t know what she’s talking about.)

The inner 13yr old girl in me has just realised a lifelong dream and finally photographed Matt and Luke Goss from the band BROS!!! (They’re British, but they were big in Australia too back in the day, or so the inner 13yr old girl tells me. I don’t know what she’s talking about.)

Much like my brother and I, one of us has a stunning head of hair and the other (who may or may not be me)…. erm…. does not. However, the one with less hair (in both cases) has more to do with movies than the other. Luke Goss legitimately so; and me in the sense that if I ever answer the question “  Iz Yoo A Perfeshonal?  ” with a “yes” I’ll invariably be asked to leave wherever I am.

Much like my brother and I, one of us has a stunning head of hair and the other (who may or may not be me)…. erm…. does not. However, the one with less hair (in both cases) has more to do with movies than the other. Luke Goss legitimately so; and me in the sense that if I ever answer the question “Iz Yoo A Perfeshonal?” with a “yes” I’ll invariably be asked to leave wherever I am.

Matt Goss from BROS just endorsed my website!!! You know … in the sense that if there is any way I can claim that without being sued, I would do so.

Matt Goss from BROS just endorsed my website!!! You know … in the sense that if there is any way I can claim that without being sued, I would do so.

“And still I keep thinking… if anything were to happen to Jason Statham before the end of those Fast & Furious films…..” . Damnit, I just realised I’d actually be THIRD in line behind Luke Goss and Ed Skrein….

“And still I keep thinking… if anything were to happen to Jason Statham before the end of those Fast & Furious films…..”. Damnit, I just realised I’d actually be THIRD in line behind Luke Goss and Ed Skrein….

Does not understand my excitement at photographing Matt and Luke Goss. Possibly doesn’t have a thirteen year old girl from the late 1980s inside of her. …. however questionable that might sound, even to me, typing this at quarter to midnight on not enough alcohol to quite let it go.

Does not understand my excitement at photographing Matt and Luke Goss. Possibly doesn’t have a thirteen year old girl from the late 1980s inside of her. …. however questionable that might sound, even to me, typing this at quarter to midnight on not enough alcohol to quite let it go.

Only Alan Carr looks exactly like Alan Carr when he waves like Alan Carr. It’s uncanny!

Only Alan Carr looks exactly like Alan Carr when he waves like Alan Carr. It’s uncanny!

I don’t actually know who any of these people are, however the latent OCD in me as a photoeditor can’t help but notice (at any magnification) that there is a strand of hair across the face of the lady in the white dress and there is NOTHING. I. CAN. DO. ABOUT. IT. (edited to add : Lily Travers)

I don’t actually know who any of these people are, however the latent OCD in me as a photoeditor can’t help but notice (at any magnification) that there is a strand of hair across the face of the lady in the white dress and there is NOTHING. I. CAN. DO. ABOUT. IT.
(edited to add : Lily Travers)

“As long as nothing falls off this dress, regardless of what it’s made of I’m not littering, not even if I’m on the red carpet, you got that?”  - The dress may look like it needs a permit, but the lady wearing it is Daisy May Cooper, and she won the Best “Writer: Comedy” Bafta on the night.

“As long as nothing falls off this dress, regardless of what it’s made of I’m not littering, not even if I’m on the red carpet, you got that?” - The dress may look like it needs a permit, but the lady wearing it is Daisy May Cooper, and she won the Best “Writer: Comedy” Bafta on the night.

“That’s not ‘some bird’ on my hat. You will refer to him as ‘Colonel Tuk-Tuk’ when speaking to him directly, or ‘His Excellency’ when you refer to him indirectly…”

“That’s not ‘some bird’ on my hat. You will refer to him as ‘Colonel Tuk-Tuk’ when speaking to him directly, or ‘His Excellency’ when you refer to him indirectly…”

I don’t know who this is, but… you know…. orange-tinted glasses. Gotta capture the flavour of the event somehow..

I don’t know who this is, but… you know…. orange-tinted glasses. Gotta capture the flavour of the event somehow..

Insofar as I’m allowed to write this without it seeming creepy (translation : in today’s charged climate I shouldn’t even suggest this, let alone explicitly write this)…..

Insofar as I’m allowed to write this without it seeming creepy (translation : in today’s charged climate I shouldn’t even suggest this, let alone explicitly write this)…..

…I like the professional Bafta photographer on the red carpet across from us. Maybe I’m an okay photographer… but I guarantee you I do not look this cool when I’m taking photos.

…I like the professional Bafta photographer on the red carpet across from us. Maybe I’m an okay photographer… but I guarantee you I do not look this cool when I’m taking photos.

All these years and all these premieres and I still can’t really take a photo of Ruth Wilson that makes her look as good as she does in real life. I’d say more, but I still think my chances, such as they are, are slightly higher with the photographer in the prior picture(s) (Edited to add : Ruth Wilson was a nominee for Leading Actress on the night)

All these years and all these premieres and I still can’t really take a photo of Ruth Wilson that makes her look as good as she does in real life. I’d say more, but I still think my chances, such as they are, are slightly higher with the photographer in the prior picture(s)
(Edited to add : Ruth Wilson was a nominee for Leading Actress on the night)

Could somebody aged under 30 tweet or instagram or vibe or schazzle me or whatever and tell me if this is how kids are flirting these days? I ask because while I’m not really all that interested, I’m still nominally within the human dating pool and should know this, I suppose. (edited to add, if it matters : Emma Mackey and Ncuti Gawa)

Could somebody aged under 30 tweet or instagram or vibe or schazzle me or whatever and tell me if this is how kids are flirting these days? I ask because while I’m not really all that interested, I’m still nominally within the human dating pool and should know this, I suppose.
(edited to add, if it matters : Emma Mackey and Ncuti Gawa)

“I just saw what they’re doing, and maaaaaaaan….” . Not entirely helpful, but Stephen Graham was a nominee for Best Supporting Actor on the night

“I just saw what they’re doing, and maaaaaaaan….”. Not entirely helpful, but Stephen Graham was a nominee for Best Supporting Actor on the night

“Oh, no! Please don’t take a photo of me that in any way suggests I deliberately wore this dress! Also… please remember to hashtag it properly if you do”  - only because wireimage has 6 pages of attendees uploaded by now means I can identify this as Maya Jama.

“Oh, no! Please don’t take a photo of me that in any way suggests I deliberately wore this dress! Also… please remember to hashtag it properly if you do” - only because wireimage has 6 pages of attendees uploaded by now means I can identify this as Maya Jama.

“Is that man trying to hand me something? Does he not know that I am not one to be handed ANYTHING?”  - Singer Paloma Faith.

“Is that man trying to hand me something? Does he not know that I am not one to be handed ANYTHING?” - Singer Paloma Faith.

“Am I taking my Mother to the TV Baftas? Don’t be ridiculous - she’s taking ME”  - Comedian David Walliams.

“Am I taking my Mother to the TV Baftas? Don’t be ridiculous - she’s taking ME”
- Comedian David Walliams.

…. and yes, this is exactly the photo I was going for. Somehow.

…. and yes, this is exactly the photo I was going for. Somehow.

I don’t know who this is, but it’s been a while since I’ve been addressed as a fleet admiral, and it’s nice to have that acknowledged by…. erm… I don’t know who this is.

I don’t know who this is, but it’s been a while since I’ve been addressed as a fleet admiral, and it’s nice to have that acknowledged by…. erm… I don’t know who this is.

I know that Phoebe Waller-Bridge is, like, a really REALLY big deal in the world of film/TV lately, but for now I’m just mesmerised by the sleeves on her… I’m going to say ‘dress’, but the sleeves are so wild that I’m expecting anything at her legs, up to and including tank treads.

I know that Phoebe Waller-Bridge is, like, a really REALLY big deal in the world of film/TV lately, but for now I’m just mesmerised by the sleeves on her… I’m going to say ‘dress’, but the sleeves are so wild that I’m expecting anything at her legs, up to and including tank treads.

“The hem of one is lined with ceramic throwing weapons, and I’m using the other to smuggle in some snacks. But don’t tell anyone”.  Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s imdb entry is a bewildering combination of Writer, Actress and Producer across the spectrum of Television, Star Wars and the upcoming /most recent James Bond film.

“The hem of one is lined with ceramic throwing weapons, and I’m using the other to smuggle in some snacks. But don’t tell anyone”.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s imdb entry is a bewildering combination of Writer, Actress and Producer across the spectrum of Television, Star Wars and the upcoming /most recent James Bond film.

“I asked my tailor to give my suit jacket those sleeves, but he refused on grounds ranging from the religious to the load-bearing-architectural…. all I wanted was to feel the breeze on my forearms”  - Andrew Scott is arguably still best known for playing Moriarty in the TV Series Sherlock, but in films he’s been “C” in the James Bond movie ‘Spectre’, and also a lead in the movie ‘Pride’.

“I asked my tailor to give my suit jacket those sleeves, but he refused on grounds ranging from the religious to the load-bearing-architectural…. all I wanted was to feel the breeze on my forearms”
- Andrew Scott is arguably still best known for playing Moriarty in the TV Series Sherlock, but in films he’s been “C” in the James Bond movie ‘Spectre’, and also a lead in the movie ‘Pride’.

It took me a while to figure out that it’s not a chiropractically significant warping of actress Jodie Whittaker’s shoulder, but rather the beige/tan/skin-coloured section of a two-tone dress.

It took me a while to figure out that it’s not a chiropractically significant warping of actress Jodie Whittaker’s shoulder, but rather the beige/tan/skin-coloured section of a two-tone dress.

“No, it does not require four of my friends to manoeuver me triumphantly up these stairs, rather I am the rock upon which they lean to get themselves up those stairs.”

“No, it does not require four of my friends to manoeuver me triumphantly up these stairs, rather I am the rock upon which they lean to get themselves up those stairs.”

Sadly I didn’t capture either of Helen McCrory (right) or Damian Lewis (left) facing forward as they ascended the stairs, or afterwards. Oh, well.

Sadly I didn’t capture either of Helen McCrory (right) or Damian Lewis (left) facing forward as they ascended the stairs, or afterwards. Oh, well.

Yet another weird sleeve design coupled with an out of focus arm (?) in the background makes this a pretty odd photo of Fiona Shaw, who won Best Supporting Actress for ‘Killing Eve’ on the night.

Yet another weird sleeve design coupled with an out of focus arm (?) in the background makes this a pretty odd photo of Fiona Shaw, who won Best Supporting Actress for ‘Killing Eve’ on the night.

A shot down-carpet reveals the arrival of actress Billie Piper, and even at this distance I have both her arms in focus, so clearly I’ve recovered from the Fiona Shaw photo and am back in fine form.

A shot down-carpet reveals the arrival of actress Billie Piper, and even at this distance I have both her arms in focus, so clearly I’ve recovered from the Fiona Shaw photo and am back in fine form.

“I can totally do a card trick from this distance. You selected the three of clubs, I’m guessing?”  - Comedian Michael McIntyre.

“I can totally do a card trick from this distance. You selected the three of clubs, I’m guessing?”
- Comedian Michael McIntyre.

As Michael McIntyre continues to bask in the glow of adulation from people located at an even greater elevation than I am, he’s followed by the dapper form of Danny Dyer, still fresh from signing no less than 20 autographs in one sequence at the recent Olivier Awards.

As Michael McIntyre continues to bask in the glow of adulation from people located at an even greater elevation than I am, he’s followed by the dapper form of Danny Dyer, still fresh from signing no less than 20 autographs in one sequence at the recent Olivier Awards.

“Honestly, with this pose I say we move directly from political candidate to “Empress on Balcony Overlooking Her Subjects””   I really want this pose of Billie Piper on All The Coins. And all debit cards and/or apps and/or phones have to have this photo on them too

“Honestly, with this pose I say we move directly from political candidate to “Empress on Balcony Overlooking Her Subjects””
I really want this pose of Billie Piper on All The Coins. And all debit cards and/or apps and/or phones have to have this photo on them too

For a moment I’m fearful of a scornful look from Billie Piper and her stunning military junta-style dress… but a small part of me thinks this is a prelude to a smile.

For a moment I’m fearful of a scornful look from Billie Piper and her stunning military junta-style dress… but a small part of me thinks this is a prelude to a smile.

“And remember to vote…. and/or stand back and cheer dutifully when columns of my armed forces march down your local street!!”  I called it!! The cheerfulness, I mean. Not the rumours of megalomaniacal tendencies I started.

“And remember to vote…. and/or stand back and cheer dutifully when columns of my armed forces march down your local street!!”
I called it!! The cheerfulness, I mean. Not the rumours of megalomaniacal tendencies I started.

Meanwhile, it turns out Jodie Whittaker’s dress is even more mathematically complicated than it first appeared. It’s like one of those camouflage suits that doesn’t blend into the environment, it just makes it impossible to discern a shape.

Meanwhile, it turns out Jodie Whittaker’s dress is even more mathematically complicated than it first appeared. It’s like one of those camouflage suits that doesn’t blend into the environment, it just makes it impossible to discern a shape.

I didn’t actually expect to literally capture people gravitating around the star that is Benedict Cumberbatch, but here we are.

I didn’t actually expect to literally capture people gravitating around the star that is Benedict Cumberbatch, but here we are.

“It’s perfectly okay if you don’t watch Avengers Endgame over some petty imagined slight, or the fact that it’s more or less evident that Marvel views you personally with contempt. I get paid either way”.  Benedict Cumberbatch plays Dr Strange across the broad Marvel Cinematic Universe.

“It’s perfectly okay if you don’t watch Avengers Endgame over some petty imagined slight, or the fact that it’s more or less evident that Marvel views you personally with contempt. I get paid either way”.
Benedict Cumberbatch plays Dr Strange across the broad Marvel Cinematic Universe.

“Anyway, what with having had access to a Time Stone, I’m heading inside and collect the award I know I’m going to win” -  Indeed, Benedict Cumberbatch won the Lead Actor award on the night.

“Anyway, what with having had access to a Time Stone, I’m heading inside and collect the award I know I’m going to win” - Indeed, Benedict Cumberbatch won the Lead Actor award on the night.

I don’t know who a single person in this photo is, but I can confirm that the lady in the back in the polka-dotted top walked past several times for reasons it’s far too late in the evening (half past midnight) to speculate upon. (lady later identified as : Scarlett Moffatt)

I don’t know who a single person in this photo is, but I can confirm that the lady in the back in the polka-dotted top walked past several times for reasons it’s far too late in the evening (half past midnight) to speculate upon. (lady later identified as : Scarlett Moffatt)

“You’re fans? That’s awesome. But what are you doing over there, when you could be buying theatre tickets to my play right now?”  - I last photographed Kelsey Grammer at this year’s Olivier Awards.

“You’re fans? That’s awesome. But what are you doing over there, when you could be buying theatre tickets to my play right now?” - I last photographed Kelsey Grammer at this year’s Olivier Awards.

“If she’s looking at me, it means I’ve Still Got It… however if I turn to find out whether she’s looking at me, it will suggest that I’m not sure if I’ve Still Got It, which means I almost Certainly Don’t Have It. Oh, what to ….”

“If she’s looking at me, it means I’ve Still Got It… however if I turn to find out whether she’s looking at me, it will suggest that I’m not sure if I’ve Still Got It, which means I almost Certainly Don’t Have It. Oh, what to ….”

“Nonononono… I’m not the guy who’s rumoured to be the front-runner to play the new James Bond after Daniel Craig…… by which I mean NOT YET.”  - Will Poulter was most recently in the movie “Detroit” (in the universe I live in where there is no such thing as TV, and only the annual TV Baftas provide evidence that my view of the universe may be incomplete….)

“Nonononono… I’m not the guy who’s rumoured to be the front-runner to play the new James Bond after Daniel Craig…… by which I mean NOT YET.” - Will Poulter was most recently in the movie “Detroit” (in the universe I live in where there is no such thing as TV, and only the annual TV Baftas provide evidence that my view of the universe may be incomplete….)

“No… we gotta stop here on this landing. I don’t know what this dress is made of. It’s soft and yet I feel only a force ten gale would cause it to move, let alone billow.”   - Keeley Hawes is/was nominated for Best Actress on the night.

“No… we gotta stop here on this landing. I don’t know what this dress is made of. It’s soft and yet I feel only a force ten gale would cause it to move, let alone billow.”
- Keeley Hawes is/was nominated for Best Actress on the night.

“You can already tell us which one of us wins and we’ll both look surprised. You know why? Nominees for Best Actress, right here…!”  - Jodie Comer (left) and Keeley Haws (right) were both nominated. (Edited to add : Jodie Comer won)

“You can already tell us which one of us wins and we’ll both look surprised. You know why? Nominees for Best Actress, right here…!” - Jodie Comer (left) and Keeley Haws (right) were both nominated.
(Edited to add : Jodie Comer won)

“It’s bolted itself onto my spine and its wiring is waging war on my central nervous system… why the hell won’t anybody HELP ME!??”

“It’s bolted itself onto my spine and its wiring is waging war on my central nervous system… why the hell won’t anybody HELP ME!??”

I’m still kind of hazy as to the precise role in the British Cultural milieu that Holly Willoughby occupies (I don’t watch TV would be my excuse) but after having seen her at many events, I will accede that she is one of the most pleasingly genuine wavers-to-crowds I’ve photographed.

I’m still kind of hazy as to the precise role in the British Cultural milieu that Holly Willoughby occupies (I don’t watch TV would be my excuse) but after having seen her at many events, I will accede that she is one of the most pleasingly genuine wavers-to-crowds I’ve photographed.

“Hold on, duty calls. I believe I’m required to look smoulderingly at that trio of gentlemen photographing me from outside the event. I don’t even ask ‘why?’ anymore…”  Steve Coogan was dual-Oscar nominated for ‘Philomena’ in 2014, and was in ‘Stan and Ollie’.

“Hold on, duty calls. I believe I’m required to look smoulderingly at that trio of gentlemen photographing me from outside the event. I don’t even ask ‘why?’ anymore…”
Steve Coogan was dual-Oscar nominated for ‘Philomena’ in 2014, and was in ‘Stan and Ollie’.

I last photographed Julia Stiles last week at an event so sub-par I broke my record for most swear-words in a journal to report it. It was for a TV Series, and I’m sure Disney is pleased that their events now rank 2nd through 6th on a list they used to dominate all top five spots on.

I last photographed Julia Stiles last week at an event so sub-par I broke my record for most swear-words in a journal to report it. It was for a TV Series, and I’m sure Disney is pleased that their events now rank 2nd through 6th on a list they used to dominate all top five spots on.

“STAND BACK!! IT’S BILLOWING!! WE DON’T KNOW WHERE THE CROSS-WIND CAME FROM, BUT IT’S BILLOWING!!!”   - there’s far too little panic in this photo for my liking, given my understanding of the weight and density of that dress.

“STAND BACK!! IT’S BILLOWING!! WE DON’T KNOW WHERE THE CROSS-WIND CAME FROM, BUT IT’S BILLOWING!!!” - there’s far too little panic in this photo for my liking, given my understanding of the weight and density of that dress.

“Yes, please do check out my silver sneakers. And you will remember to edit in a bit of motion blur just to show off how speedy they make me look, right?”  - Sir Lenny Henry.

“Yes, please do check out my silver sneakers. And you will remember to edit in a bit of motion blur just to show off how speedy they make me look, right?”
- Sir Lenny Henry.

And finally… a single final car pulls up and dispenses…. DAVID SCHWIMMER!!!

And finally… a single final car pulls up and dispenses…. DAVID SCHWIMMER!!!

With the arrival of David Schwimmer, I have finally photographed my SECOND of the six mainline stars of the TV Series ‘Friends’. At this rate, I’d better hope Courtney Cox lives well into her nineties. And photographing that Gunther guy just isn’t going to ever happen.

With the arrival of David Schwimmer, I have finally photographed my SECOND of the six mainline stars of the TV Series ‘Friends’. At this rate, I’d better hope Courtney Cox lives well into her nineties. And photographing that Gunther guy just isn’t going to ever happen.

“Yes, not only does she have to run Defence and block all full-body shots of me, but she also has to b blurry in those shots of me. It was totally in the Rider that got me to come over here… “

“Yes, not only does she have to run Defence and block all full-body shots of me, but she also has to b blurry in those shots of me. It was totally in the Rider that got me to come over here… “

“Janine, if this photo turns out blurry I’m going to literally MURDER you right now. Which will have the advantage of David Schwimmer being called as a witness when I get put on trial, and I’ll get somebody more RELIABLE to take a photo of me with him THERE, Janine….”

“Janine, if this photo turns out blurry I’m going to literally MURDER you right now. Which will have the advantage of David Schwimmer being called as a witness when I get put on trial, and I’ll get somebody more RELIABLE to take a photo of me with him THERE, Janine….”

Five minutes later… you might well ask “is it over?” but the tearing up of the carpet is a pretty big clue.

Five minutes later… you might well ask “is it over?” but the tearing up of the carpet is a pretty big clue.

And so… until I return tomorrow to scout out all the major winners I missed or didn’t upload…. that’s it for now, and the Archive of Premieres gets a +1 for Event, and I’m going to get myself some sleep.

Until next time!

ps. If you want to know when I attempt some ill-advised event coverage for a medium I know next to nothing about, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or twitter at berndt2_photo.

Added later:

“We’re still calling it a ‘fellowship’? The misogyny runs deep in this ‘burg…” ”But aren’t ships inherently female, ma’am?” ”I’m a Baroness and my understanding is I could have you executed at whim, young man…”  At left, Baroness Joan Bakewell was awarded a Bafta Fellowship on the night.

“We’re still calling it a ‘fellowship’? The misogyny runs deep in this ‘burg…”
”But aren’t ships inherently female, ma’am?”
”I’m a Baroness and my understanding is I could have you executed at whim, young man…”

At left, Baroness Joan Bakewell was awarded a Bafta Fellowship on the night.

“If you win and I don’t, I’m having this picture burned…”  Another/better shot of Best Actress winner Jodie Comer, at left.

“If you win and I don’t, I’m having this picture burned…”
Another/better shot of Best Actress winner Jodie Comer, at left.

…… and?

“Here’s to you, the people who make this all worthwhile, and this free prosecco taste extra sweet”

“Here’s to you, the people who make this all worthwhile, and this free prosecco taste extra sweet”