The 2019 GQ Men of the Year Awards, Tate Modern

September 3rd, 2019.

Well.. it’s that time of year again : the days are getting shorter, and I know this in part because every year the GQ Awards are the first event I photograph where the event starts off during daytime and ends when it’s dark.

Among other things. For instance, last year the GQs served the role of being “My Baftas” as I was unable to gain entry. This year I ALSO failed to get entry, I just didn’t let that stop me. And as for the GQs? Well, they’re typically a lot more chilled.

Slightly less so this year, however. Here’s how it went down:

(EDITED TO ADD : Now includes Winners)

Why isn’t my dress trending on Twitter? I’ve been wearing it for the last fifteen minutes and I don’t see how anything more important could have cropped up in the meantime….”

Why isn’t my dress trending on Twitter? I’ve been wearing it for the last fifteen minutes and I don’t see how anything more important could have cropped up in the meantime….”

“If this doesn’t trend, I’m blaming you personally, Janine. Also, get a real camera next time…”  I dunno. This photo was taken on a Pentax and that autofocus isn’t what I’d entirely call “sharp”

“If this doesn’t trend, I’m blaming you personally, Janine. Also, get a real camera next time…”
I dunno. This photo was taken on a Pentax and that autofocus isn’t what I’d entirely call “sharp”

The red carpet for this event stretches from “the left of this photo over there” <gestures vaguely> to the roadside dropoff near the nest of Dealers (and some Fans) on the back-left, where the Paparazzi (currently not yet in place) will face them, in a battle for the ages.

The red carpet for this event stretches from “the left of this photo over there” <gestures vaguely> to the roadside dropoff near the nest of Dealers (and some Fans) on the back-left, where the Paparazzi (currently not yet in place) will face them, in a battle for the ages.

“I just hope if I’m photographed that there’s motion blur to show how busy I am….”   - by my reckoning the event started about half an hour later this year than last year, and I don’t know how uptodate your view of the solar system is, but that’s important for, like, sunset and nighttime.

“I just hope if I’m photographed that there’s motion blur to show how busy I am….”
- by my reckoning the event started about half an hour later this year than last year, and I don’t know how uptodate your view of the solar system is, but that’s important for, like, sunset and nighttime.

“Tuxedo…. Bow Tie… Knuckledusters…. I just know I’ve forgotten one of the three…”  Security at the event was slightly more unobtrusive at this event than others I’ve been to. If 7-foot tall security could ever be called “unobtrusive”

“Tuxedo…. Bow Tie… Knuckledusters…. I just know I’ve forgotten one of the three…”
Security at the event was slightly more unobtrusive at this event than others I’ve been to. If 7-foot tall security could ever be called “unobtrusive”

Owing to a fortunate (?) late night work phone conference, I started work on this journal well after Wireimage had uploaded their images from the event. The practical upshot is for perhaps the first time ever I can appear learned in tagging my photos of people. For instance, there’s almost no way I’d otherwise have known this was Lilah Parsons. ps. I have no idea who Lilah Parsons is.

Owing to a fortunate (?) late night work phone conference, I started work on this journal well after Wireimage had uploaded their images from the event. The practical upshot is for perhaps the first time ever I can appear learned in tagging my photos of people. For instance, there’s almost no way I’d otherwise have known this was Lilah Parsons. ps. I have no idea who Lilah Parsons is.

“I don’t see a single one of you sexist pigs offering a lady a t-shirt she obviously could do with”  Charlotte de Carle has just rediscovered 21st Century Chivalry. I will claim the main reason  I  am taking this photo is because of the guy with the “Boss” T-shirt in the foreground, who spent the entirety of the 90 minutes of the red carpet standing EXACTLY there, holding that clip-board behind him, seemingly speaking to nobody. Just standing there, blocking the view. What a job.

“I don’t see a single one of you sexist pigs offering a lady a t-shirt she obviously could do with”
Charlotte de Carle has just rediscovered 21st Century Chivalry. I will claim the main reason I am taking this photo is because of the guy with the “Boss” T-shirt in the foreground, who spent the entirety of the 90 minutes of the red carpet standing EXACTLY there, holding that clip-board behind him, seemingly speaking to nobody. Just standing there, blocking the view. What a job.

Camilla Karslake, Chris Robshaw, and That Damn Blurry Boss T-Shirt Clipboard Guy.

Camilla Karslake, Chris Robshaw, and That Damn Blurry Boss T-Shirt Clipboard Guy.

Shooting one handed, with viewfinder, with cigarette in corner of mouth. Sir, I doff my Brass-and-Black L.A. Cap at you. For you are fairly awesome.

Shooting one handed, with viewfinder, with cigarette in corner of mouth. Sir, I doff my Brass-and-Black L.A. Cap at you. For you are fairly awesome.

“Are the reflections causing trouble with your camera’s metering? Completely unintentional. And by “completely” and “unintentional” I mean neither”  - AJ Odudu is the owner of this dress… or if these things are rented and not owned, then she is at least currently wearing it.

“Are the reflections causing trouble with your camera’s metering? Completely unintentional. And by “completely” and “unintentional” I mean neither” - AJ Odudu is the owner of this dress… or if these things are rented and not owned, then she is at least currently wearing it.

“I really want to talk to that Blurry guy with the ‘Boss’ shirt and clip-board. But he’s not talking to anyone because he’s too cool. I understand that”  - it’s Eric Underwood! (I don’t know who that is)

“I really want to talk to that Blurry guy with the ‘Boss’ shirt and clip-board. But he’s not talking to anyone because he’s too cool. I understand that” - it’s Eric Underwood! (I don’t know who that is)

“I don’t endorse any of your websites, or fashion, or lifestyle choices. But fine, I’ll sign whatever”  It’s Tom Jones!! (I do know who he is)

“I don’t endorse any of your websites, or fashion, or lifestyle choices. But fine, I’ll sign whatever”
It’s Tom Jones!! (I do know who he is)

“I practiced this for months and the only person watching me is that blurry guy with the clipboard. I suppose he is pretty awesome”  I don’t know who this is, but I can confirm that the leg that is bearing his full weight is his RIGHT. Repeat : RIGHT. Back to you in the studio.

“I practiced this for months and the only person watching me is that blurry guy with the clipboard. I suppose he is pretty awesome” I don’t know who this is, but I can confirm that the leg that is bearing his full weight is his RIGHT. Repeat : RIGHT. Back to you in the studio.

“No, that is NOT a recipe for a decent BananaBreadCakeSlice. You’ll need twice as much butter if you don’t want it to crumble to dust the instant you remove it from the oven….”  250g. That’s how much. (And you cut a 500g chunk in half DIAGONALLY - it’s easier than eyeballing a lengthwise cut… see? I know these things) (also : this is chef Gordon Ramsay)

“No, that is NOT a recipe for a decent BananaBreadCakeSlice. You’ll need twice as much butter if you don’t want it to crumble to dust the instant you remove it from the oven….”
250g. That’s how much. (And you cut a 500g chunk in half DIAGONALLY - it’s easier than eyeballing a lengthwise cut… see? I know these things) (also : this is chef Gordon Ramsay)

"So I told him 'that's not how you make bananabread', and THEN I punched him.... so don't tell me I hit him for no reason, damnit!"  It doesn’t matter what you’re passionate about, as long as you’re passionate about SOMETHING.

"So I told him 'that's not how you make bananabread', and THEN I punched him.... so don't tell me I hit him for no reason, damnit!"
It doesn’t matter what you’re passionate about, as long as you’re passionate about SOMETHING.

The frustrating downside of having access to all the attendees’ names at half past midnight on a weeknight when I have work tomorrow is that I still don’t have time to find out WHY these people are famous, I merely have to come to the acceptance of them having some level of fame. On which note : this is Aisling Bea

The frustrating downside of having access to all the attendees’ names at half past midnight on a weeknight when I have work tomorrow is that I still don’t have time to find out WHY these people are famous, I merely have to come to the acceptance of them having some level of fame. On which note : this is Aisling Bea

“Hold it slightly higher, bro. I know how these cameras work…”  It’s Andrew Scott! (he was “C” in the James Bond movie ‘Spectre’, among other things) (edited to add : he won the “Blurry T-Shirt Brand Name Standout Performance” Award on the night)

“Hold it slightly higher, bro. I know how these cameras work…”
It’s Andrew Scott! (he was “C” in the James Bond movie ‘Spectre’, among other things) (edited to add : he won the “Blurry T-Shirt Brand Name Standout Performance” Award on the night)

“I’d rather not have looked, on reflection”   Director Dexter Fletcher (“Rocketman”, “Wild Bill” and “Eddie the Eagle”)

“I’d rather not have looked, on reflection”
Director Dexter Fletcher (“Rocketman”, “Wild Bill” and “Eddie the Eagle”)

“Put the kilt on the    DOG, YOU SAID   . It’ll cause hysteria on the red carpet,    YOU SAID   …” ”Well, the blurry guy with the clipboard and the ‘Boss’ t-shirt looked at us” ”He barely glanced - he was far too busy doing what he was doing…”

“Put the kilt on the DOG, YOU SAID. It’ll cause hysteria on the red carpet, YOU SAID…”
”Well, the blurry guy with the clipboard and the ‘Boss’ t-shirt looked at us”
”He barely glanced - he was far too busy doing what he was doing…”

“Hold my hand, Barbs - I’m about to blow their minds”  If this is Gary Kemp, then history (or maybe just this journal) does not reveal what he did next.

“Hold my hand, Barbs - I’m about to blow their minds”
If this is Gary Kemp, then history (or maybe just this journal) does not reveal what he did next.

“Hold on… I’m currently negotiating for a tie I can wear that’s even better than the one you bought me. Erm…. darling”  - I believe this is singer James Blunt.

“Hold on… I’m currently negotiating for a tie I can wear that’s even better than the one you bought me. Erm…. darling” - I believe this is singer James Blunt.

“If I didn’t sign for you, you can buy one of the autographs I DID sign from the people next to you!!”   It’s Ellie Fanning, who is an actress, so based on the 500+ premieres I’ve photographed I’m actually fairly confident in my identification without leaning too heavily on the worldwide resources of my research department…

“If I didn’t sign for you, you can buy one of the autographs I DID sign from the people next to you!!”
It’s Ellie Fanning, who is an actress, so based on the 500+ premieres I’ve photographed I’m actually fairly confident in my identification without leaning too heavily on the worldwide resources of my research department…

The impossible has happened : I’ve finally photographed somebody full-length wearing a dress and facing me without that damn blurry Boss-T-Shirted clown blurrily standing there clutching his clipboard as if it’s insulin or cocaine!!

The impossible has happened : I’ve finally photographed somebody full-length wearing a dress and facing me without that damn blurry Boss-T-Shirted clown blurrily standing there clutching his clipboard as if it’s insulin or cocaine!!

Elle Fanning and I share a hatred of blurry people in photos. (Note : this comment is not to be taken as implied criticism of my Pentax camera. I’m usually fairly explicit about that)

Elle Fanning and I share a hatred of blurry people in photos. (Note : this comment is not to be taken as implied criticism of my Pentax camera. I’m usually fairly explicit about that)

“That bokeh is appalling : take another shot. Yes, I’ll wait: this is important. Have some pride, man!!”  It’s Australia’s own Kylie Minogue!! (some of the tourists around me were impressed, anyway) (Edited to add : she won the “Icon” Award on the night)

“That bokeh is appalling : take another shot. Yes, I’ll wait: this is important. Have some pride, man!!”
It’s Australia’s own Kylie Minogue!! (some of the tourists around me were impressed, anyway)
(Edited to add : she won the “Icon” Award on the night)

“Arm wrestle. Right here and right now. I’ve always wanted a shoulder-mounted vacuum cleaner for no reason I can easily articulate…”

“Arm wrestle. Right here and right now. I’ve always wanted a shoulder-mounted vacuum cleaner for no reason I can easily articulate…”

“I really insist at least some of you remember I was in that Disney     Cinderella     live-action remake”  Most recently from the movie    “Rocketman”    - it’s the former Robb Stark Richard Madden! (edited to add : he won the “Blurry T-Shirt Brand Most Sytlish Man” Award on the night)

“I really insist at least some of you remember I was in that Disney Cinderella live-action remake”
Most recently from the movie “Rocketman” - it’s the former Robb Stark Richard Madden! (edited to add : he won the “Blurry T-Shirt Brand Most Sytlish Man” Award on the night)

“Wait… MALEFICENT gets a sequel, but CINDERELLA doesn’t? I had ideas for that movie, man!!”

“Wait… MALEFICENT gets a sequel, but CINDERELLA doesn’t? I had ideas for that movie, man!!”

Yes, it’s true. I deleted the letters of the word “BOSS” from that blurry clipboard clutching guy. Because I got tired of seeing them. The lady with the dress is is Leomie Anderson.

Yes, it’s true. I deleted the letters of the word “BOSS” from that blurry clipboard clutching guy. Because I got tired of seeing them. The lady with the dress is is Leomie Anderson.

Every time I step out of my train carriage in the morning, this is precisely the imaginary posse I choose to protectively flank me en route to my office through (now-) predawn London. (nb. he’s Sam Smith, singer)

Every time I step out of my train carriage in the morning, this is precisely the imaginary posse I choose to protectively flank me en route to my office through (now-) predawn London.
(nb. he’s Sam Smith, singer)

“Yes, it’s a mobile phone. I have several. What’s your point?”   I believe this is Vick Hope, and that belief based on no knowledge of precisely what she does. My fault, not hers: I spend most of my workdays staring at excel spreadsheets and I still couldn’t tell you who the world champion in THAT field is.

“Yes, it’s a mobile phone. I have several. What’s your point?”
I believe this is Vick Hope, and that belief based on no knowledge of precisely what she does. My fault, not hers: I spend most of my workdays staring at excel spreadsheets and I still couldn’t tell you who the world champion in THAT field is.

Oh, and look.. they’ve got another person wearing a BOSS t-shirt and they’ve gotten her to stand at mid-waist high wearing red hair. Sigh. You know, I’m all for commercialising awards shows, but would it kill the GQ Awards to have the letters “GQ” somewhere at the event, even if just for variety? Also : I don’t know who this is.

Oh, and look.. they’ve got another person wearing a BOSS t-shirt and they’ve gotten her to stand at mid-waist high wearing red hair. Sigh. You know, I’m all for commercialising awards shows, but would it kill the GQ Awards to have the letters “GQ” somewhere at the event, even if just for variety? Also : I don’t know who this is.

“That’s my shoulder blade. I believe you’re intending to aim just a little to your right. But I like your hair” ”Thanks…. but is there any chance you could just walk past again?” ”Lady, I’ve already forgotten I ever met you”  - I believe this is singer Charlie XCX.

“That’s my shoulder blade. I believe you’re intending to aim just a little to your right. But I like your hair”
”Thanks…. but is there any chance you could just walk past again?”
”Lady, I’ve already forgotten I ever met you”
- I believe this is singer Charlie XCX.

“I know… I’m not wearing my typical feather headdress and shoulderpads stretching into next week… I’m disappointed in myself, too. Though it’s always nice to be able to walk into doorways unassisted”  - latest arrival : Rita Ora.

“I know… I’m not wearing my typical feather headdress and shoulderpads stretching into next week… I’m disappointed in myself, too. Though it’s always nice to be able to walk into doorways unassisted”
- latest arrival : Rita Ora.

“Okay…. I give up. I have no idea what you’ve drawn. Is it a chess piece? A spaghetti string? A topographical map of Sussex?” ”No… you just signed that for me a few seconds ago, actually….”

“Okay…. I give up. I have no idea what you’ve drawn. Is it a chess piece? A spaghetti string? A topographical map of Sussex?”
”No… you just signed that for me a few seconds ago, actually….”

“I don’t care if he’s got a whole kitchenette on his back, I’m not dignifying it with so much as a glance”  It’s Stephen Fry - the only man who could get me to reconsider paying my license fee just so I can watch the Baftas… if he’s hosting. Or… you know… find a local pub that’s showing the Baftas. (Do pubs show the Baftas? What about in St Albans?)

“I don’t care if he’s got a whole kitchenette on his back, I’m not dignifying it with so much as a glance”
It’s Stephen Fry - the only man who could get me to reconsider paying my license fee just so I can watch the Baftas… if he’s hosting. Or… you know… find a local pub that’s showing the Baftas. (Do pubs show the Baftas? What about in St Albans?)

It’s been almost nine months since Victoria Beckham and I shared a moment that still resonates through the ages, at    last year’s Fashion Awards   . And I don’t want to panic anyone… but we might be sharing another one…. we both want to destroy blurry boss t-shirt clipboard guy.

It’s been almost nine months since Victoria Beckham and I shared a moment that still resonates through the ages, at last year’s Fashion Awards. And I don’t want to panic anyone… but we might be sharing another one…. we both want to destroy blurry boss t-shirt clipboard guy.

Fame. It’s faaaaaantastic.

Fame. It’s faaaaaantastic.

“That’s not actually one of my fragrances, but what the hell….”  It’s former footballer and current owner of several (?) personal fragrances David Beckham! (Edited to add : David Beckham won the “Editor’s Special Award”, which is pleasingly vague, saying little except possibly the editor thought  “I like the guy… can we give him something?” )

“That’s not actually one of my fragrances, but what the hell….”
It’s former footballer and current owner of several (?) personal fragrances David Beckham!
(Edited to add : David Beckham won the “Editor’s Special Award”, which is pleasingly vague, saying little except possibly the editor thought “I like the guy… can we give him something?”)

“One of the two of us are going to run into that guy… and you just know he’ll feel obliged to apologise!”  That’s my forthcoming strategy to deal with the plague of mobile-phone zombies walking the streets of London these days. Did I say “walk into”? I meant “shoulder-charge”.

“One of the two of us are going to run into that guy… and you just know he’ll feel obliged to apologise!”
That’s my forthcoming strategy to deal with the plague of mobile-phone zombies walking the streets of London these days. Did I say “walk into”? I meant “shoulder-charge”.

No comment that I could write would adequate describe the variations on “cool” in this photo… but I’m especially pleased that Blurry Boss-TShirt Clipboard guy isn’t in it. (Iggy Pop is) (Edited to add : Iggy Pop won the “Lifetime Achievement Award” on the night)

No comment that I could write would adequate describe the variations on “cool” in this photo… but I’m especially pleased that Blurry Boss-TShirt Clipboard guy isn’t in it. (Iggy Pop is)
(Edited to add : Iggy Pop won the “Lifetime Achievement Award” on the night)

I’m fairly sure Sebastian Stan was in one of those Marvel films. But there’s been so many and I stopped caring a while back. (Fine : I liked    Winter Soldier   . And most recently… Winter Soldier.).

I’m fairly sure Sebastian Stan was in one of those Marvel films. But there’s been so many and I stopped caring a while back. (Fine : I liked Winter Soldier. And most recently… Winter Soldier.).

“Slow down! You know I have about two milimetres of movement in my ankles thanks to this dress” ”…..” ”I wore the dress because it looks AWESOME, Christine” ”…..” ”Inability to walk in it is NOT a factor when judging the awesomeness of a dress, CHRISTINE!!”

“Slow down! You know I have about two milimetres of movement in my ankles thanks to this dress”
”…..”
”I wore the dress because it looks AWESOME, Christine”
”…..”
”Inability to walk in it is NOT a factor when judging the awesomeness of a dress, CHRISTINE!!”

“I don’t choose a black L.A. Cap to hide my head under, young man. I suggest you do the same”  But… but… it looks cool AND keeps my head warm!! I last photographed Sir Patrick Stewart early this year at “   The Kid Who Would Be King”

“I don’t choose a black L.A. Cap to hide my head under, young man. I suggest you do the same”
But… but… it looks cool AND keeps my head warm!! I last photographed Sir Patrick Stewart early this year at “The Kid Who Would Be King”

“That guy in the Boss T-Shirt has a clipboard. I want a clipboard just like it” ”…..” ”Yes absolutely beat him up and take it off him, Susannah!”  Director Guy Ritchie (most recently    Disney’s “Aladdin”)    and wife?girlfriend? Jacqui Ainsley.

“That guy in the Boss T-Shirt has a clipboard. I want a clipboard just like it”
”…..”
”Yes absolutely beat him up and take it off him, Susannah!”

Director Guy Ritchie (most recently Disney’s “Aladdin”) and wife?girlfriend? Jacqui Ainsley.

“Sorry, Babes… I’m not listening. I’m trying to figure out whether that blurry guy in the ‘Boss’ T-shirt clutching a clipboard behind him is tryin’ to Start Something. Or even if not, whether I can get into Guy Ritchie’s good books by stealing that clipboard”  I don’t want to imply that beneath my cool LA Cap and perma-attached Sennheiser in-ear headphones I might not be fully aware of who “Stormzy” is.. but yeah, I’m a bit hazy.

“Sorry, Babes… I’m not listening. I’m trying to figure out whether that blurry guy in the ‘Boss’ T-shirt clutching a clipboard behind him is tryin’ to Start Something. Or even if not, whether I can get into Guy Ritchie’s good books by stealing that clipboard”
I don’t want to imply that beneath my cool LA Cap and perma-attached Sennheiser in-ear headphones I might not be fully aware of who “Stormzy” is.. but yeah, I’m a bit hazy.

“It’s great that your chiropractor is letting you out onto the streets again….” -  it’s Debbie Harry!

“It’s great that your chiropractor is letting you out onto the streets again….” - it’s Debbie Harry!

It’s Australia’s Own Nicole Kidman!!!! And that guy with his t-shirt with a clipboard is STILL. STANDING. RIGHT. THERE. He has not moved in an Hour. What do they ask people like him when they apply for a job?   “Do you look good blurry in photos?”   Because I’m curious. Get in touch, Boss T-Shirt Clipboard Guy… tell me your dreams. What do you want to accomplish in your life? is this it? Really?   (REALLY???)

It’s Australia’s Own Nicole Kidman!!!! And that guy with his t-shirt with a clipboard is STILL. STANDING. RIGHT. THERE. He has not moved in an Hour. What do they ask people like him when they apply for a job? “Do you look good blurry in photos?” Because I’m curious. Get in touch, Boss T-Shirt Clipboard Guy… tell me your dreams. What do you want to accomplish in your life? is this it? Really? (REALLY???)

“No, I’m not interested in shoulder-mounted vaccum cleaners. I like the robotic ones. But my assistant Jerry here might be interested. Jerry? You wanna talk to this guy?”  Nicole Kidman has won an Oscar, and now also a GQ Award - she took away the “Actress of the Year” award. I’ve photographed her at such diverse premiers as    “Australia”,       “Paddington”    and, since London Film Fest IS coming up soon,    “The Killing of a Sacred Deer”   .

“No, I’m not interested in shoulder-mounted vaccum cleaners. I like the robotic ones. But my assistant Jerry here might be interested. Jerry? You wanna talk to this guy?”
Nicole Kidman has won an Oscar, and now also a GQ Award - she took away the “Actress of the Year” award. I’ve photographed her at such diverse premiers as “Australia”, “Paddington” and, since London Film Fest IS coming up soon, “The Killing of a Sacred Deer”.

That disapproving look (which I’d like to think, and therefore will claim, was in the direction of that Blurry Boss T-Shirt-Clipboard Guy, and not me) is better than any shot I’ve managed of Taron Egerton across not    one    but    TWO Kingsman premieres    ,    Eddie the Eagle   , AND the world premiere of    Rocketman   … (edited to add : he won “Actor of the Year” on the night)

That disapproving look (which I’d like to think, and therefore will claim, was in the direction of that Blurry Boss T-Shirt-Clipboard Guy, and not me) is better than any shot I’ve managed of Taron Egerton across not one but TWO Kingsman premieres , Eddie the Eagle, AND the world premiere of Rocketman… (edited to add : he won “Actor of the Year” on the night)

“You really want me to punch that guy with the clipboard? Well… if we can use it in the movie, then let’s!”

“You really want me to punch that guy with the clipboard? Well… if we can use it in the movie, then let’s!”

I think this might be Jamie Rednapp. But on a subject I’m considerably more certain about : it’s 1:32am as I’m typing this, so… right now it doesn’t feel all that important.

I think this might be Jamie Rednapp. But on a subject I’m considerably more certain about : it’s 1:32am as I’m typing this, so… right now it doesn’t feel all that important.

So… on that questionable note of unprofessionalism and poor dedication to my craft, I’m going to end it. As always, I’ll go back and write in the “winners” and anyone else I photographed that might have ended up being important. But for now… I’m adding the 2019 GQs to the Archive, and calling it a night (and/or morning)

Until next time!

ps. if you want to know when I post one of these journals (which I assume you’ve somehow randomly stumbled across?), feel free to follow me on facebook, or on twitter, or other methods of surveillance yet to be devised or rolled out to the private sector at some point.

Final edits : people I photographed, didn’t upload, but SHOULD HAVE:

“My kingdom for a white bowtie… anyone? ANYONE??”  Writer James Ellroy won the “Writer of the Year” award… and indeed he has written a book this year (I always make sure to check, as the GQs are kinda notorious for awards given to Cool People On Pretext We’ll Figure Out Later)

“My kingdom for a white bowtie… anyone? ANYONE??”
Writer James Ellroy won the “Writer of the Year” award… and indeed he has written a book this year (I always make sure to check, as the GQs are kinda notorious for awards given to Cool People On Pretext We’ll Figure Out Later)

“Man In Parka” turns out to be Chinese artist Ai Weiwei, recipient of the “Maddox Gallery Artist” Award. He’s a pretty important artist, I say, using all the cachet that a Business Degree and a job that involves spreadsheeting can bring to bear on such a judgement.

“Man In Parka” turns out to be Chinese artist Ai Weiwei, recipient of the “Maddox Gallery Artist” Award. He’s a pretty important artist, I say, using all the cachet that a Business Degree and a job that involves spreadsheeting can bring to bear on such a judgement.

Winner of the “Insert Name Of Apple Headphone Brand” Award is the band “The 1975” - who I have, rather incredibly heard of, and remember fondly as one of three great songs heard while at a near-standstill in a Japanese traffic jam once (true story!)

Winner of the “Insert Name Of Apple Headphone Brand” Award is the band “The 1975” - who I have, rather incredibly heard of, and remember fondly as one of three great songs heard while at a near-standstill in a Japanese traffic jam once (true story!)

And finally, the only real winner on the night.

And finally, the only real winner on the night.

…. ah, screw it. I’m not giving blurry boss t-shirt clipboard guy the last word in my journal. here’s a crop of my favourite shot from the night:

“You could keep taking photos or you could, like, HELP or something?!”

“You could keep taking photos or you could, like, HELP or something?!”