The 2016 Elle Style Awards, Tate Britain

February 23rd 2016.

It's Day 5 of 5 of London Fashion Week 2016 (and the journal for that is here), and the capstone event to conclude it is (I'm told) the Elle Style Awards. My attitude towards Awards ceremonies in general ranges from "Very High Esteem" (Baftas, Oliviers) to "Vague Acceptance" (Empire Awards, Evening Standard Awards) to "Proportionate to their Contempt of me" (BIFA last year) to "wait.. are these awards *actually* awards or are you just giving shiny things to your friends for showing up?" (GQ Awards).

Ironically, of course, the awards I most enjoy are the ones at either extreme of the spectrum (Love you, GQ!). But which would the Elle Style Awards be? No idea... but if nothing else people should be well dressed, I figured..

Here's how it went down:

The Tate Britain is an art gallery with a formidable heritage. And here I was, at the bottom of these stairs, wondering what I was doing here while London's Autograph Dealer community were inside, not given to thoughts of irony, massed in the foyer passing time...

The Tate Britain is an art gallery with a formidable heritage. And here I was, at the bottom of these stairs, wondering what I was doing here while London's Autograph Dealer community were inside, not given to thoughts of irony, massed in the foyer passing time...

The headquarters of Daniel Craig-era Jame Bond's MI6 is almost directly across the Thames from the Tate Britain. So... probably shouldn't point my lens in that direction.

The headquarters of Daniel Craig-era Jame Bond's MI6 is almost directly across the Thames from the Tate Britain. So... probably shouldn't point my lens in that direction.

Once the sun had set and the temperature had dropped enough to make me pleased I was wearing two jumpers AND a ski jacket... I found myself in unfamiliar territory : namely, the Paparazzi pen. How did I manage that? Well... I'm going to say 'magic'. (But it wasn't magic. They merely didn't ask me to leave).

Once the sun had set and the temperature had dropped enough to make me pleased I was wearing two jumpers AND a ski jacket... I found myself in unfamiliar territory : namely, the Paparazzi pen. How did I manage that? Well... I'm going to say 'magic'. (But it wasn't magic. They merely didn't ask me to leave).

I'm calling it "Art" (I am outside the Tate Britain after all, and I have nothing better to do or photograph)

I'm calling it "Art"
(I am outside the Tate Britain after all, and I have nothing better to do or photograph)

Given the alternative of spending a couple of hours in a pen with 'civilians' and rabid autograph dealers whose idea of Sun Tzu approximates to somewhere between "strategic lightweight" and "why yes, I do feel like Sweet and Sour Pork"... I was happy with my choice of pen.

Given the alternative of spending a couple of hours in a pen with 'civilians' and rabid autograph dealers whose idea of Sun Tzu approximates to somewhere between "strategic lightweight" and "why yes, I do feel like Sweet and Sour Pork"... I was happy with my choice of pen.

We have our first arrival, and I have no idea who they are (but then again, I never claimed to have any knowledge of Style)

We have our first arrival, and I have no idea who they are (but then again, I never claimed to have any knowledge of Style)

"If I'm never able to see another piece of written sheet music because of your flash barrage, my lawyers will be in touch. But yes... this feathery jumper is keeping me warm. Thanks for asking" - Paloma Faith.

"If I'm never able to see another piece of written sheet music because of your flash barrage, my lawyers will be in touch. But yes... this feathery jumper is keeping me warm. Thanks for asking" - Paloma Faith.

"Sign this!! Either side -- I don't care!!"

"Sign this!! Either side -- I don't care!!"

"The hair's real but the colour isn't. THAT'S style." - radio's Nick Grimshaw may (or may not) be hosting this event, while his suit may (or may not) have been inspired by a bout of the chicken pox the designer's daughter was suffering with at the time it was conceived.

"The hair's real but the colour isn't. THAT'S style." - radio's Nick Grimshaw may (or may not) be hosting this event, while his suit may (or may not) have been inspired by a bout of the chicken pox the designer's daughter was suffering with at the time it was conceived.

"You guys are out here freezing while I'm about to be inside, simultaneously being warm and drinking free chilled champagne". (Jeremy Irvine : best known for being in Steven Spielberg's "War Horse")

"You guys are out here freezing while I'm about to be inside, simultaneously being warm and drinking free chilled champagne". (Jeremy Irvine : best known for being in Steven Spielberg's "War Horse")

I don't know who this is, but I'd like to (or at least until Rosie Huntington-Whitely shows up).

I don't know who this is, but I'd like to (or at least until Rosie Huntington-Whitely shows up).

I'm going to guess... Musician? Or Mime Artist? Or at higher odds, Performing Vampire or Vending Machine Engineer. (edited to guess : musician James Bay?)

I'm going to guess... Musician? Or Mime Artist? Or at higher odds, Performing Vampire or Vending Machine Engineer. (edited to guess : musician James Bay?)

"Wait.. you DON'T want my autograph, you just want me to decipher the scawl of the guy with the hat and tell you who I think he is??" (edite to add : who is James Norton?)

"Wait.. you DON'T want my autograph, you just want me to decipher the scawl of the guy with the hat and tell you who I think he is??" (edite to add : who is James Norton?)

I have no idea who this is, but the dress looks pleasingly unstable (edited to add : Billie JD Porter)

I have no idea who this is, but the dress looks pleasingly unstable (edited to add : Billie JD Porter)

Elizabeth Olsen is best known as (and photographed me at) Scarlett Witch in The Avengers, ...and I do believe she and I have made a connection the likes of which most Nicholas Sparks movies would look like garden shed maintenance manuals in comparison.

Elizabeth Olsen is best known as (and photographed me at) Scarlett Witch in The Avengers, ...and I do believe she and I have made a connection the likes of which most Nicholas Sparks movies would look like garden shed maintenance manuals in comparison.

Elizabeth Olsen wisely decides to cool the undeniable chemistry between us just sufficiently to ensure we don't cause a kind of nuclear fusion reaction that would take out the nearby MI6 headquarters.

Elizabeth Olsen wisely decides to cool the undeniable chemistry between us just sufficiently to ensure we don't cause a kind of nuclear fusion reaction that would take out the nearby MI6 headquarters.

I heard people saying "Lottie Moss", which sounds almost like something I might have misheard, like it could be her name, or the name of the dress, or a heavily accented comment on the plant growth arising from unseasonably high humidity in the local microclimate. That said : she's pretty.

I heard people saying "Lottie Moss", which sounds almost like something I might have misheard, like it could be her name, or the name of the dress, or a heavily accented comment on the plant growth arising from unseasonably high humidity in the local microclimate. That said : she's pretty.

Less a name and more of a hidden spy code, this is "Charlie XCX"

Less a name and more of a hidden spy code, this is "Charlie XCX"

I don't know who they are. Some kind of Girl band or Journeying Accountancy Troupe? (In my defence I'm still a bit woozy from my moment with Elizabeth Olsen, and can't be bothered with trivialities like who other peple are)

I don't know who they are. Some kind of Girl band or Journeying Accountancy Troupe? (In my defence I'm still a bit woozy from my moment with Elizabeth Olsen, and can't be bothered with trivialities like who other peple are)

I... don't know who this is. Either. And with every person I can't identify, the more I'm wondering whether the universe is telling me that despite its undeniable warmth, my white thermal jumper isn't what I should be wearing to events like this. (edited to add : Charlotte Hedad) (subsequently edited to add : WHO?)

I... don't know who this is. Either. And with every person I can't identify, the more I'm wondering whether the universe is telling me that despite its undeniable warmth, my white thermal jumper isn't what I should be wearing to events like this. (edited to add : Charlotte Hedad) (subsequently edited to add : WHO?)

In my defence, I don't know who this is because it's a side-view.

In my defence, I don't know who this is because it's a side-view.

Obviously I also don't know who this is, because everybody's too cool to wear name tags at the Elle Style Awards. That said : I love the viciously symmetrical parting of the hair. (edited to add : Bella Hadid)

Obviously I also don't know who this is, because everybody's too cool to wear name tags at the Elle Style Awards. That said : I love the viciously symmetrical parting of the hair. (edited to add : Bella Hadid)

"I'm not smiling : my face is just frozen in a rictus of hypothermic pain that your insensitive male conditioning and lack of chivalrous impulses interpet as a smile" - I'm sorry, by the time you finished saying that I was too confused to offer you my jacket..... whoever you are. (Edited to add : Mollie King, from the band The Saturdays)

"I'm not smiling : my face is just frozen in a rictus of hypothermic pain that your insensitive male conditioning and lack of chivalrous impulses interpet as a smile" - I'm sorry, by the time you finished saying that I was too confused to offer you my jacket..... whoever you are. (Edited to add : Mollie King, from the band The Saturdays)

I don't know (a) who she is, (b) who she's wearing or (c) whether that dress is intrinsically capable of supporting itself or its wearer. But I'm wearing three layers of clothing on MY shoulders, and she clearly is not.

I don't know (a) who she is, (b) who she's wearing or (c) whether that dress is intrinsically capable of supporting itself or its wearer. But I'm wearing three layers of clothing on MY shoulders, and she clearly is not.

Amazingly, not only do I know who this is, but her yellow-orange jacket helpfully assisted my cameras' failing autofocus systems! She's Noomi Rapace, best known for being in the Swedish version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and Ridley Scott's "Prometheus"

Amazingly, not only do I know who this is, but her yellow-orange jacket helpfully assisted my cameras' failing autofocus systems! She's Noomi Rapace, best known for being in the Swedish version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and Ridley Scott's "Prometheus"

"If you were disappointed that 'Prometheus' raised about 3 new questions for every 1 answer : I hear they're going full-on exponential on that ratio in the next one" I fear an existential crisis merely by buying a popcorn...

"If you were disappointed that 'Prometheus' raised about 3 new questions for every 1 answer : I hear they're going full-on exponential on that ratio in the next one" I fear an existential crisis merely by buying a popcorn...

"I just thought of a great lyric... anybody got a pen and paper handy?" - singer Ellie Goulding.

"I just thought of a great lyric... anybody got a pen and paper handy?" - singer Ellie Goulding.

"You remember me from that song? Uh... I have more than one". My personal favourite is probably Lana Del Rey's "Once Upon A Dream" from the Maleficent soundtrack. Not enough Disney songs sound like they're sung by a serial killer plotting their next victim's demise...  seductively.

"You remember me from that song? Uh... I have more than one". My personal favourite is probably Lana Del Rey's "Once Upon A Dream" from the Maleficent soundtrack. Not enough Disney songs sound like they're sung by a serial killer plotting their next victim's demise...  seductively.

Appears to be all of about 15 years old, so ... moving right along

Appears to be all of about 15 years old, so ... moving right along

Apparently Toni Garrn is 23 years old...  and has an exposed bellybutton displayed at an air temperature of something like 3 degrees celsius. Regardless of age, I don't understand kids....

Apparently Toni Garrn is 23 years old...  and has an exposed bellybutton displayed at an air temperature of something like 3 degrees celsius. Regardless of age, I don't understand kids....

I don't know who this is, but the security guard is helping her find her footing on unsteady pavement... or injecting her with antibiotics for exposure to London's ferocious autograph dealers.

I don't know who this is, but the security guard is helping her find her footing on unsteady pavement... or injecting her with antibiotics for exposure to London's ferocious autograph dealers.

I didn't previously know what an "Arizona Muse" was. Apparently it's a person, and not some kind of exotic premium tea all the cool people are drinking at fashion shows.

I didn't previously know what an "Arizona Muse" was. Apparently it's a person, and not some kind of exotic premium tea all the cool people are drinking at fashion shows.

"Because "North Dakota Inspiration" sounded like a Softball team...."

"Because "North Dakota Inspiration" sounded like a Softball team...."

Here's a rare third photo of Magician / Dental Hygienist / Sudoku champion "Arizona Muse"... because I honestly thought she was Connie Nielson from 'Gladiator', who is twenty three years (or a whole Toni Garrn) her senior.

Here's a rare third photo of Magician / Dental Hygienist / Sudoku champion "Arizona Muse"... because I honestly thought she was Connie Nielson from 'Gladiator', who is twenty three years (or a whole Toni Garrn) her senior.

"Didn't I already sign for you guys, like... last week?" I last photographed actor Will Poulter at last week's 2016 Baftas.. but he was also in "We're The Millers", "Wild Bill" and "The Revenant", whose premiere I missed.

"Didn't I already sign for you guys, like... last week?" I last photographed actor Will Poulter at last week's 2016 Baftas.. but he was also in "We're The Millers", "Wild Bill" and "The Revenant", whose premiere I missed.

One of only two people so far to have made eye-contact at a time coinciding with my camera's metering. Although I'm grateful for this, I still think I made a *much* stronger connection with Elizabeth Olsen ...

One of only two people so far to have made eye-contact at a time coinciding with my camera's metering. Although I'm grateful for this, I still think I made a *much* stronger connection with Elizabeth Olsen ...

"Sorry guys, my boyfriend Jason couldn't be here... but if any of you are bald enough and suave enough I'll take you in". I assume a random brain spasm is the reason why that opportunity somehow passed me by when Rosie Huntington-Whitely arrived.

"Sorry guys, my boyfriend Jason couldn't be here... but if any of you are bald enough and suave enough I'll take you in". I assume a random brain spasm is the reason why that opportunity somehow passed me by when Rosie Huntington-Whitely arrived.

Rosie Huntington-Whitely is so pretty I'm starting to go hazy on the name of the girl with whom I made an epoch-smashing connection earlier.... I think her name was 'Steve' or something?

Rosie Huntington-Whitely is so pretty I'm starting to go hazy on the name of the girl with whom I made an epoch-smashing connection earlier.... I think her name was 'Steve' or something?

"I'm kind of sad to be going in alone... but okay...."

"I'm kind of sad to be going in alone... but okay...."

"Have you got any chewing gum? I'm trying to give up smoking...and it's quite the addictive Hobbit". I'll show myself out, thanks.

"Have you got any chewing gum? I'm trying to give up smoking...and it's quite the addictive Hobbit". I'll show myself out, thanks.

"If you want to get in slightly quicker, I can punch you a shortcut through that sandstone balustrade. Will my feats of strength impress you enough to go out on a date with me?" "You think tearing up an art gallery facade will make me like you???"

"If you want to get in slightly quicker, I can punch you a shortcut through that sandstone balustrade. Will my feats of strength impress you enough to go out on a date with me?"
"You think tearing up an art gallery facade will make me like you???"

I last photographed Liv Tyler at another fashion event - last year's British Fashion Awards - where I seem to recall also photographing Rosie Huntington-Whitely AND being insulted by Karl Largerfeld... although not in real life, just in my mind.

I last photographed Liv Tyler at another fashion event - last year's British Fashion Awards - where I seem to recall also photographing Rosie Huntington-Whitely AND being insulted by Karl Largerfeld... although not in real life, just in my mind.

File note : around about here, I ran out of battery charge on the Nikon which I'd been using primarily for this premiere (or at least interchangeably with the Pentax whenever either was writing to buffer memory at this event, as the failure rate of photographs was so high). I can only blame myself for this oversight.... however given the very cold temperatures I immediately removed the battery and put it next to my skin in my pocket.... just in case somebody REALLY important showed up.

Completely randomly, and not entering via the same paparazzi gauntlet as everyone else... could this be Lady Gaga? If so... then... okay. Alternatively, this isn't her. (edited to add : it isn't)

Completely randomly, and not entering via the same paparazzi gauntlet as everyone else... could this be Lady Gaga? If so... then... okay. Alternatively, this isn't her. (edited to add : it isn't)

"I'll be marrying a hermaphrodite lizard inside... or, you know... whatever weird thing you guys assume I'll get up to in there that helps you sell newspapers or get website hits or whatever. Assuming I am who you think I am, obviously"

"I'll be marrying a hermaphrodite lizard inside... or, you know... whatever weird thing you guys assume I'll get up to in there that helps you sell newspapers or get website hits or whatever. Assuming I am who you think I am, obviously"

Post-Traumatic-Maybe-That-Was-Lady-Gaga-Or-Maybe-It-Wasn't-Syndrome hits us all in different ways....

Post-Traumatic-Maybe-That-Was-Lady-Gaga-Or-Maybe-It-Wasn't-Syndrome hits us all in different ways....

"On my planet, it's not an "S". It stands for "Hope" ". Oh, wait. That actually works.

"On my planet, it's not an "S". It stands for "Hope" ". Oh, wait. That actually works.

I think this might be model Daisy Lowe.. but the dude in the limo behind her has seen somebody potentially even more exciting.

I think this might be model Daisy Lowe.. but the dude in the limo behind her has seen somebody potentially even more exciting.

"Did you just take a battery out of your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" I.... am glad I've restored some charge to my battery. As model Karlie Kloss arrives, stopping traffic and causing hearby helicopters to burst into flame. I assume.

"Did you just take a battery out of your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" I.... am glad I've restored some charge to my battery. As model Karlie Kloss arrives, stopping traffic and causing hearby helicopters to burst into flame. I assume.

"Yep.. that's them all right". Model Karlie Kloss is pretty in the kind of way that makes mere mortals want to compose sonnets and spout them embarrassingly in public. I would say.

"Yep.. that's them all right". Model Karlie Kloss is pretty in the kind of way that makes mere mortals want to compose sonnets and spout them embarrassingly in public. I would say.

"If any of you can give me a quick Haiku, I'll see about staying outside and maybe posing for longer". I... I....damnit, I forget whether it's 5-7-5 or 6-8-6 syllables you're meant to be using...

"If any of you can give me a quick Haiku, I'll see about staying outside and maybe posing for longer". I... I....damnit, I forget whether it's 5-7-5 or 6-8-6 syllables you're meant to be using...

"It doesn't have to rhyme, you know....". Uh... next time then?

"It doesn't have to rhyme, you know....". Uh... next time then?

Karlie Kloss having gone inside, the world seems both colder and darker, and then some male model shows up thinking maybe we want to be photograhing him. But...but... why MALE models?

Karlie Kloss having gone inside, the world seems both colder and darker, and then some male model shows up thinking maybe we want to be photograhing him. But...but... why MALE models?

"Carl... get my sunglasses. And a baseball bat" - Stella McCartney arrives fashionably late(ish)

"Carl... get my sunglasses. And a baseball bat" - Stella McCartney arrives fashionably late(ish)

"Glad to be of service" Jourdan Dunn gets the soon-to-be-ending procedings back on track.

"Glad to be of service" Jourdan Dunn gets the soon-to-be-ending procedings back on track.

And that...was more or less that. It wasn't an easy event to photograph, especially for somebody like me who takes photos without a flash. When everyone else around you DOES use a flash, and there is no ambient light, you either have to piggypack on their flash randomly (and every failure will be pitch black), or you need to shoot through their flashes (and every failure will be overexposed or underexposed as your camera tries to compensate)... or you shoot on Manual and hope for some kind of middle ground.

Long story short : not an easy one. But... it was okay. London Fashion Week 2016 is over... and I'm spent, Darlink.

Until Next time, it's another one for "The Archive"

PS. Although this might not be the best example of my abilities, if you want to see if I can do better in the future, and want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook by clicking here