The 2015 Evening Standard Theatre Awards

November 22nd, 2015.

It's been a little while since my last premieres ('Ronaldo' over a week ago, and 'The Hunger Games : Mockingjay part2' over a fortnight ago), and even longer since I last demonstrated a complete lack of knowledge of all things theatre-related (refer 'The 2015 Olivier Awards'). So when all planets aligned and I found out about the Evening Standard Theatre Awards at the Old Vic, I headed in on a cold Sunday evening to wallow further in my glorious ignorance.... while hoping there'd be a larger-than-usual attendance by people who are also in films.

Here's how it went down:

Leicester Square is currently overrun with teenage girls for the 'Joe and Caspar Hit The Road' premiere, however I've decided to trade their high-pitched squeals for the most vicious autograph dealers London can offer. I suspect even the autograph dealers know when they're outmatched.

Leicester Square is currently overrun with teenage girls for the 'Joe and Caspar Hit The Road' premiere, however I've decided to trade their high-pitched squeals for the most vicious autograph dealers London can offer. I suspect even the autograph dealers know when they're outmatched.

"We've put the mines and robot sentry guns here, here and here. Hopefully that'll protect the stars if and when the autograph dealers break past the barricades" I also recommend wooden stakes and garlic.

"We've put the mines and robot sentry guns here, here and here. Hopefully that'll protect the stars if and when the autograph dealers break past the barricades" I also recommend wooden stakes and garlic.

"My Name? My dear fellow, you called ME over. You tell ME who I am". This could end up being a long evening. I have no idea who this is... and I'm also cropping in the guy on the far right just in case he's famous.

"My Name? My dear fellow, you called ME over. You tell ME who I am". This could end up being a long evening. I have no idea who this is... and I'm also cropping in the guy on the far right just in case he's famous.

"Good grief you're short, I hope you don't mind my saying, for indeed I already have. Said it, I mean". Richard E Grant is arguably best known for being in 'Withnail and I', a movie that made me so angry that I'm surprised I wasn't politely asked to leave England over how direly hateful I felt it was. I believe I gave it 1/5. And I don't give many movies 1 out of 5.

"Good grief you're short, I hope you don't mind my saying, for indeed I already have. Said it, I mean". Richard E Grant is arguably best known for being in 'Withnail and I', a movie that made me so angry that I'm surprised I wasn't politely asked to leave England over how direly hateful I felt it was. I believe I gave it 1/5. And I don't give many movies 1 out of 5.

I'm not going to pretend what theatrical goings-on Joely Richardson has involved herself in, but she like many noted thespians does make forays into Movies - for instance I've photographed her at the premieres of 'The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo' and Roland Emmerich's 'Anonymous'

I'm not going to pretend what theatrical goings-on Joely Richardson has involved herself in, but she like many noted thespians does make forays into Movies - for instance I've photographed her at the premieres of 'The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo' and Roland Emmerich's 'Anonymous'

"My mantelpiece is already quite full., so I'd almost prefer not to win anything tonight" Vanessa Redgrave, along with being Joely Richardson's mum, is also an Academy Award winner and... well... put aside a little while to read through all her acting awards on wikipedia, if you're up for wondering how little you've accomplished in your life.

"My mantelpiece is already quite full., so I'd almost prefer not to win anything tonight" Vanessa Redgrave, along with being Joely Richardson's mum, is also an Academy Award winner and... well... put aside a little while to read through all her acting awards on wikipedia, if you're up for wondering how little you've accomplished in your life.

"Don't I look familiar to you?" I would say no.. but then I've just looked at Franco Nero's filmography on imdb.com and apparently he was in both Tarantino's "Django Unchained" and... Die Hard 2 back in 1990? He and Vanessa Redgrave are also partners.

"Don't I look familiar to you?" I would say no.. but then I've just looked at Franco Nero's filmography on imdb.com and apparently he was in both Tarantino's "Django Unchained" and... Die Hard 2 back in 1990? He and Vanessa Redgrave are also partners.

"Yes, I do think 'War Horse' needs its own cinematic universe, now that they're doing one of those for pretty much every movie". Jeremy Irvine was in Steven Spielberg's "War Horse", though I last photographed him at the premiere of 'Bad Education' this year.

"Yes, I do think 'War Horse' needs its own cinematic universe, now that they're doing one of those for pretty much every movie". Jeremy Irvine was in Steven Spielberg's "War Horse", though I last photographed him at the premiere of 'Bad Education' this year.

"Autograph dealer scrum packs? Well... they're unruly filth of course, but they do make one feel validated and needed." To autograph dealers, regular folk like you, me and everyone else are just speedbumps.

"Autograph dealer scrum packs? Well... they're unruly filth of course, but they do make one feel validated and needed." To autograph dealers, regular folk like you, me and everyone else are just speedbumps.

"No questions, please. We just want to stand here and be admired, if that's okay". Sir Ian McKellen and Dame Judi Dench have far too many titles, movies, plays and royal orders to count. But they'll stand here while you count them.

"No questions, please. We just want to stand here and be admired, if that's okay". Sir Ian McKellen and Dame Judi Dench have far too many titles, movies, plays and royal orders to count. But they'll stand here while you count them.

"Sssshhhh... he's carrying the two on this very important calculation". Sir Ian McKellen is best known for playing Gandalf in all the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movies, as well as Magneto in all the original X-Men Films. I last photographed him (and Captain Picard hugging) at the premiere of 'Mr Holmes' earlier this year.

"Sssshhhh... he's carrying the two on this very important calculation". Sir Ian McKellen is best known for playing Gandalf in all the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movies, as well as Magneto in all the original X-Men Films. I last photographed him (and Captain Picard hugging) at the premiere of 'Mr Holmes' earlier this year.

"Who would win in a fight - Gandalf or Magneto? It's hard to say... even their hats are equally awesome"

"Who would win in a fight - Gandalf or Magneto? It's hard to say... even their hats are equally awesome"

" 'M' could have either of them killed without remorse. Or you, or anyone else here." - Dame Judi Dench played 'M' in seven James Bond films (from Goldeneye to Skyfall), but neither she nor anyone from any major intelligence agency has to my knowledge managed to infiltrate the packs of roaming autograph dealers of London, which is a pity.

" 'M' could have either of them killed without remorse. Or you, or anyone else here." - Dame Judi Dench played 'M' in seven James Bond films (from Goldeneye to Skyfall), but neither she nor anyone from any major intelligence agency has to my knowledge managed to infiltrate the packs of roaming autograph dealers of London, which is a pity.

What, indeed, can one do if one is just famous enough to get on a red carpet but unable as a consequence to approach either Dame Judi Dench or Sir Ian McKellen for a selfie or autograph? (which is to say.. I have no idea who these people are)

What, indeed, can one do if one is just famous enough to get on a red carpet but unable as a consequence to approach either Dame Judi Dench or Sir Ian McKellen for a selfie or autograph? (which is to say.. I have no idea who these people are)

"No, I am not James May or Sir Bob Geldof or a member of a boy band your daughter likely listens to". Well... there go all my guesses.

"No, I am not James May or Sir Bob Geldof or a member of a boy band your daughter likely listens to". Well... there go all my guesses.

"It's far too cold for me to answer frivolous questions like 'who am I', sorry". Well... damn. But I can confirm it is very cold tonight. I'm staying warm by wearing layers and maintaining a burning hatred of autograph dealers.

"It's far too cold for me to answer frivolous questions like 'who am I', sorry". Well... damn. But I can confirm it is very cold tonight. I'm staying warm by wearing layers and maintaining a burning hatred of autograph dealers.

"I am also not James May or Sir Bob Geldof or a member of a boy band your daughter likely listens to. Love your voice recorder though. Very 1980s"

"I am also not James May or Sir Bob Geldof or a member of a boy band your daughter likely listens to. Love your voice recorder though. Very 1980s"

"No, I am not James McAvoy...although he is a very fine actor". I've hit that part of the proceedings where I either need to confront the fact that I am uncultured swine... or merely that my level(s) of culture, if any, extend only in directions outside of Legitimate The-Ate-Err.

"No, I am not James McAvoy...although he is a very fine actor". I've hit that part of the proceedings where I either need to confront the fact that I am uncultured swine... or merely that my level(s) of culture, if any, extend only in directions outside of Legitimate The-Ate-Err.

"You want my autograph even though you don't know who I am? Well.... bless you. But no, I'm not additionally giving you my credit card number or pin for online purchases"

"You want my autograph even though you don't know who I am? Well.... bless you. But no, I'm not additionally giving you my credit card number or pin for online purchases"

Yes. it's true. I also don't know who this is. But you know what? I've photographed Queen Elizabeth II and Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford and... uh... David Hasselhoff .... and almost everyone is lower in the hierarchy of fame than them.

Yes. it's true. I also don't know who this is. But you know what? I've photographed Queen Elizabeth II and Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford and... uh... David Hasselhoff .... and almost everyone is lower in the hierarchy of fame than them.

Excitingly for (or possibly to the detriment of) me and my ability to be taken seriously as an aficionado of popular culture (!?), I know who this is : singer Pixie Lott.

Excitingly for (or possibly to the detriment of) me and my ability to be taken seriously as an aficionado of popular culture (!?), I know who this is : singer Pixie Lott.

"As you can see, what I'm wearing is not really conducive to providing lengthy answers. So let's keep the questions simple, preferably of the yes/no type."

"As you can see, what I'm wearing is not really conducive to providing lengthy answers. So let's keep the questions simple, preferably of the yes/no type."

The thundering of the earth you're feeling is not a train on the London Underground or a micro-earthquake, but rather hordes of autograph dealers shifting location in a large continuous open publich pen to fight, bellow and parry for autographs from the newly arrived Nicole Kidman.

The thundering of the earth you're feeling is not a train on the London Underground or a micro-earthquake, but rather hordes of autograph dealers shifting location in a large continuous open publich pen to fight, bellow and parry for autographs from the newly arrived Nicole Kidman.

"You may or may not be a fan of my performance in Baz Lurhman's "Australia", but that's a photo of Hugh Jackman. Who is not me"

"You may or may not be a fan of my performance in Baz Lurhman's "Australia", but that's a photo of Hugh Jackman. Who is not me"

The Look that Nicole Kidman is giving me is basically a mirror of the look I'm giving her, now that my quest to get her to sign the backlit/pose shot of her at the premiere of 'Australia' back in December 2008 is entering its 7th futile year. I've been involved in many fruitless and futile pursuits, some more painful than this one, but few longer.

The Look that Nicole Kidman is giving me is basically a mirror of the look I'm giving her, now that my quest to get her to sign the backlit/pose shot of her at the premiere of 'Australia' back in December 2008 is entering its 7th futile year. I've been involved in many fruitless and futile pursuits, some more painful than this one, but few longer.

"This is the precise look I'm going to give if I win Best Actress tonight." And indeed, Nicole Kidman did win the award, for her performance in 'Photograph 51'.

"This is the precise look I'm going to give if I win Best Actress tonight." And indeed, Nicole Kidman did win the award, for her performance in 'Photograph 51'.

Meanwhile, speaking of futile pursuits.... thanks to indifferent Pentax autofocussing and equally indifferent Nikon metering, I'm still trying after many attempts to take a great photo of Ruth Wilson. The closest I've come is possibly 'Saving Mr Banks' from a few years ago. This is the Pentax's attempt.

Meanwhile, speaking of futile pursuits.... thanks to indifferent Pentax autofocussing and equally indifferent Nikon metering, I'm still trying after many attempts to take a great photo of Ruth Wilson. The closest I've come is possibly 'Saving Mr Banks' from a few years ago. This is the Pentax's attempt.

"Really? No great photos of me? A tragedy. What can I do about that?" . This is the Nikon's attempt (the metering is only mildly sub-par but the colour replication on this one was abysmal).

"Really? No great photos of me? A tragedy. What can I do about that?" . This is the Nikon's attempt (the metering is only mildly sub-par but the colour replication on this one was abysmal).

"My gosh you're small. I'll answer your question... but only after I've fully processed this realisation" I believe this is Rob Brydon, and I believe he is/was the host of the event.

"My gosh you're small. I'll answer your question... but only after I've fully processed this realisation" I believe this is Rob Brydon, and I believe he is/was the host of the event.

"Well, obviously if they're going to do a 'Star Trek : The Next Generation : First Class' series I'd be very happy to play a young Patrick Stewart again". Actor James McAvoy was this evening's other big winner, awarded Best Actor for 'The Ruling Class'

"Well, obviously if they're going to do a 'Star Trek : The Next Generation : First Class' series I'd be very happy to play a young Patrick Stewart again". Actor James McAvoy was this evening's other big winner, awarded Best Actor for 'The Ruling Class'

"Of course, if it meant shaving my head again I'd need to get my wife's okay to do it...."

"Of course, if it meant shaving my head again I'd need to get my wife's okay to do it...."

"I'd rather Sir Patrick buckled down and grew some great hair and made things easier for my James...." - Anne Marie Duff is married to James McAvoy, and is an actress in her own right

"I'd rather Sir Patrick buckled down and grew some great hair and made things easier for my James...." - Anne Marie Duff is married to James McAvoy, and is an actress in her own right

"I guess I wish Sir Patrick all the best with that...."

"I guess I wish Sir Patrick all the best with that...."

"Oh, that voice recorder takes me way back. I'm surprised it runs on batteries... and not steam or diesel or something" Prior to this year, I'd never photographed Dame Shirley Bassey... but thanks to this event and the world premiere of 'Spectre' I've now photographed her twice in less than thirty days.

"Oh, that voice recorder takes me way back. I'm surprised it runs on batteries... and not steam or diesel or something" Prior to this year, I'd never photographed Dame Shirley Bassey... but thanks to this event and the world premiere of 'Spectre' I've now photographed her twice in less than thirty days.

" Other 'M' was here? That's fantastic.... I was pretty sure she died at the end of that movie, but I'd be happy to step aside again..." Ralph Fiennes took over the role of 'M' which Dame Judi Dench vacated in the prior James Bond film 'Skyfall'.

" Other 'M' was here? That's fantastic.... I was pretty sure she died at the end of that movie, but I'd be happy to step aside again..." Ralph Fiennes took over the role of 'M' which Dame Judi Dench vacated in the prior James Bond film 'Skyfall'.

"Yes, I know I'm short. But the question is valid" "You're going to have to repeat it, though"

"Yes, I know I'm short. But the question is valid"
"You're going to have to repeat it, though"

"My opinion of The Evening Standard? Well... I enjoy their sudokus...." That's pretty much my relationship with that newspaper. There's room for improvement on both our sides.

"My opinion of The Evening Standard? Well... I enjoy their sudokus...." That's pretty much my relationship with that newspaper. There's room for improvement on both our sides.

Conveniently standing on either side of some errant scaffolding, Amanda Abbington and Martin Freeman play husband and wife in the TV series 'Sherlock' which isn't theatre but does represent one of the few bits of British culture I've adopted over the past few years of living here. The scaffolding remains something I'm not a big fan of.

Conveniently standing on either side of some errant scaffolding, Amanda Abbington and Martin Freeman play husband and wife in the TV series 'Sherlock' which isn't theatre but does represent one of the few bits of British culture I've adopted over the past few years of living here. The scaffolding remains something I'm not a big fan of.

Random but certainly not unwelcome attendee : actress Kate Beckinsale, best known for not wearing dresses as a leather-clad vampire in the 'Underworld' movies.

Random but certainly not unwelcome attendee : actress Kate Beckinsale, best known for not wearing dresses as a leather-clad vampire in the 'Underworld' movies.

Despite the powerful gaze of Kate Beckinsale, I can't really proclaim myself a fan of the Underworld movies, tight leather costume(s) of its female lead(s) notwithstanding.

Despite the powerful gaze of Kate Beckinsale, I can't really proclaim myself a fan of the Underworld movies, tight leather costume(s) of its female lead(s) notwithstanding.

"Must update facebook profile to reflect that I have now photographed Kate Beckinsale". Among my school and university contemporaries I have not accomplished particularly much in my life, but it's true. I have also photographed Kate Beckinsale. Twice, now. My 20-something year old self would be so proud.

"Must update facebook profile to reflect that I have now photographed Kate Beckinsale". Among my school and university contemporaries I have not accomplished particularly much in my life, but it's true. I have also photographed Kate Beckinsale. Twice, now. My 20-something year old self would be so proud.

"What do you mean 'you've missed Kate Beckinsale'? I'll be heading in and grabbing my free champagne and canapes and chatting with her momentarily inside the venue, where it's warm and fully catered" Joining Franco Nero above, who was in Die Hard 2, is the newly arrived Jeremy Irons who was in Die Hard 3.

"What do you mean 'you've missed Kate Beckinsale'? I'll be heading in and grabbing my free champagne and canapes and chatting with her momentarily inside the venue, where it's warm and fully catered" Joining Franco Nero above, who was in Die Hard 2, is the newly arrived Jeremy Irons who was in Die Hard 3.

"If any of you photographers can name even one movie I've been in without imdb, I'll accept that you're not distracted". Well.... I photographed Salma Hayek at the premiere of 'Prometheus' back in 2012, but she wasn't actually in that movie. Does that count? Also... I know this is a celebration of culture and class.... but is that piece of scaffolding REALLY there? RIGHT THERE??

"If any of you photographers can name even one movie I've been in without imdb, I'll accept that you're not distracted". Well.... I photographed Salma Hayek at the premiere of 'Prometheus' back in 2012, but she wasn't actually in that movie. Does that count? Also... I know this is a celebration of culture and class.... but is that piece of scaffolding REALLY there? RIGHT THERE??

"I don't care how cold it is, you're all dressed terribly tonight. On a side-note : leopard spots are still WAY cool. That is all" . Rather randomly, this is American Vogue editor Anna Wintour.

"I don't care how cold it is, you're all dressed terribly tonight. On a side-note : leopard spots are still WAY cool. That is all" . Rather randomly, this is American Vogue editor Anna Wintour.

"You realise that with what I'm wearing, if I find that what I'm signing is up on ebay for anything less than insane amount, I shall be most displeased" former Bond Girl (and recipient of the night's award for 'best newcomer in a musical') Gemma Arteron was probably the least appropriately dressed attendee on the night. I'm pretty sure the temperature was in the very low single digits celsius.

"You realise that with what I'm wearing, if I find that what I'm signing is up on ebay for anything less than insane amount, I shall be most displeased" former Bond Girl (and recipient of the night's award for 'best newcomer in a musical') Gemma Arteron was probably the least appropriately dressed attendee on the night. I'm pretty sure the temperature was in the very low single digits celsius.

"eight-plus frames per second and you're STILL not done??" For the second Theatre Awards Event I've been to this year (the other being the 2015 Olivier Awards), I'm finishing with a photo of Gemma Arteron. There are many more frivolous traditions to start over Christmas, but this is one I might see if I can stick with.

"eight-plus frames per second and you're STILL not done??" For the second Theatre Awards Event I've been to this year (the other being the 2015 Olivier Awards), I'm finishing with a photo of Gemma Arteron. There are many more frivolous traditions to start over Christmas, but this is one I might see if I can stick with.

So... that was that. And I've got a bruised right hand suffered at the hands (or rather feet) of autograph dealer scum to take home with me, along with two very full Memory Cards and a late night photo editing.

As the year winds down, the premieres are sadly proving to be doing likewise. Currently there's only one announced ('In The Heart of the Sea') and one rumoured ('The Hateful Eight'), as well as one I don't give a crap about (that Disney sci-fi film I'm tired of having shoved in my face). But hopefully I'll get to a few more before the year is done, and keep adding to my 'Archive of Movie Premieres', now with over 300 events chronicled..

Until next time!

ps. If you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook by clicking here