The 2013 BAFTAs, Royal Opera House London

February 10th, 2013.

The BAFTAs are the British equivalent of the Academy Awards, except they’re British and they’re held in the cold and dark of winter.... and broadly speaking you need to be out in the single-digit temperatures for something like 8 hours if you want a decent spot (and that time includes queuing and waiting). I did them last year, and two years before that.

Did I mention the forecast was for rain, sleet and snow? And that all three eventuated? Here's how it went down:

And who knows... next year it'll have face tattoos and punk hairdo.

And who knows... next year it'll have face tattoos and punk hairdo.

So it’s the BAFTAs. I queued for about 3.5 hours (from 4:30am) for my wristband, and then got my spot and waited for another4 hours or so for the event to start. I think I lost some weight having to maintain my own body heat in 3-4 degree temperatures though. (Worth it on that fact alone).

So it’s the BAFTAs. I queued for about 3.5 hours (from 4:30am) for my wristband, and then got my spot and waited for another4 hours or so for the event to start. I think I lost some weight having to maintain my own body heat in 3-4 degree temperatures though. (Worth it on that fact alone).

The leadup involved a bit of a cleanup, sound test, rehearsals, crowd footage… and Boba Fett taking the Bafta Face, frozen in Carbonite, off to Jabba the Hutt.

The leadup involved a bit of a cleanup, sound test, rehearsals, crowd footage… and Boba Fett taking the Bafta Face, frozen in Carbonite, off to Jabba the Hutt.

Preparations continue. Earrings by Tiffany, earpiece by CIA surplus. I mainly took this photo for the weird face on the bottom right.

Preparations continue. Earrings by Tiffany, earpiece by CIA surplus. I mainly took this photo for the weird face on the bottom right.

Situation Update : all through the hours leading up to (and into) the event, I was constantly fighting for space against the ‘broad’ girl to my right whose opinion on the sovereignty of borders I’d cheerfully have discussed. The jostling, pushing and wedging of herself against me was continuous and unrelenting. I'd love to have fought back... but like I said, she was bigger than me. The Obesity epidemic in this country isn't just a health issue, it's a legitimate social issue.

Oh, good. They’re going to start interviewing people on the principles of Text and Twitter any day now.

Oh, good. They’re going to start interviewing people on the principles of Text and Twitter any day now.

I guess it’s finally begun? Okay, well this is singer Paloma Faith. I’m not sure if she counts as an actress, but hen again, Rihanna in Battleship (2012) proved that you don’t have to be a good actress..... to be an actress.

I guess it’s finally begun? Okay, well this is singer Paloma Faith. I’m not sure if she counts as an actress, but hen again, Rihanna in Battleship (2012) proved that you don’t have to be a good actress..... to be an actress.

Additionally, I believe Paloma Faith’s hair deserves its own supporting credit in any of her performances.

Additionally, I believe Paloma Faith’s hair deserves its own supporting credit in any of her performances.

Man on Right : “Dude, do you know that everytime you scratch your lustrous silver hair you make me feel a little worse about myself” Billy Connolly has arrived. Last photographed at the Premiere of "Quartet"

Man on Right : “Dude, do you know that everytime you scratch your lustrous silver hair you make me feel a little worse about myself” Billy Connolly has arrived. Last photographed at the Premiere of "Quartet"

Simon Pegg, of Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol , the JJ Abrams Star Trek reboot, and Tintin Secret of the Unicorn... and glasses wearing fame has arrived! (His bow tie is a Samsung).

Simon Pegg, of Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol , the JJ Abrams Star Trek reboot, and Tintin Secret of the Unicorn... and glasses wearing fame has arrived! (His bow tie is a Samsung).

Martin Freeman plays Bilbo in what will ultimately be a trilogy of movies. Or as ceremony host Stephen Fry would later point out, a trilogy only if Warners elects not to spread them out further over, like, nine films

Martin Freeman plays Bilbo in what will ultimately be a trilogy of movies. Or as ceremony host Stephen Fry would later point out, a trilogy only if Warners elects not to spread them out further over, like, nine films

By way of update, this was one of my two cameras – the Pentax – about 20 minutes into the Red Carpet event. This was well before it began to sleet, and ultimately snow. The camera’s fine. I put it in front of the heater back in the apartment when I got home. I also have a Nikon, but it pulled about a quarter of the duty of the K5 at this event.

By way of update, this was one of my two cameras – the Pentax – about 20 minutes into the Red Carpet event. This was well before it began to sleet, and ultimately snow. The camera’s fine. I put it in front of the heater back in the apartment when I got home. I also have a Nikon, but it pulled about a quarter of the duty of the K5 at this event.

Mark Strong wandered past my lens, looking all menacing with the light dappling off the BAFTA umbrellas. They gave them away for free after the event, but wide Hippo girl next to me, needless to say, grabbed the one I was holding. The fairer sex indeed. Still, me and Jennifer Lawrence might be an item. I’ll provide some dubious evidence of that later.

Mark Strong wandered past my lens, looking all menacing with the light dappling off the BAFTA umbrellas. They gave them away for free after the event, but wide Hippo girl next to me, needless to say, grabbed the one I was holding. The fairer sex indeed. Still, me and Jennifer Lawrence might be an item. I’ll provide some dubious evidence of that later.

Actor, Singer, all-round nice guy and former alleged nemesis of mine Hugh Jackman shows up. Last photographed : at the Les Miserables premiere

Actor, Singer, all-round nice guy and former alleged nemesis of mine Hugh Jackman shows up. Last photographed : at the Les Miserables premiere

“So, rain, huh?” “Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m nominated for?” “Umm…. no?” “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

“So, rain, huh?”
“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m nominated for?”
“Umm…. no?”
“You don’t know who I am, do you?”

Ever since the Les Miserables premiere I feel my (possibly one-sided) bloodfeud with Hugh Jackman has more or less been resolved and we’re generally on ‘acknowledgement’ terms. Either that or it’s a strategy he’s laying down to catch me off my guard.

Ever since the Les Miserables premiere I feel my (possibly one-sided) bloodfeud with Hugh Jackman has more or less been resolved and we’re generally on ‘acknowledgement’ terms. Either that or it’s a strategy he’s laying down to catch me off my guard.

Meanwhile, this is actress Jennifer Lawrence. And THIS? Is A Look. (It’s a look, right? We’ve totally made a connection. I think that’s pretty awesome).

Meanwhile, this is actress Jennifer Lawrence. And THIS? Is A Look. (It’s a look, right? We’ve totally made a connection. I think that’s pretty awesome).

And in case your Assistant doesn't know, I can be contacted by email at bernd.talasch@optusnet.com.au .. My people and I pretty much monitor it 24/7 in the event that I'm expecting an email from J-Lawz.

And in case your Assistant doesn't know, I can be contacted by email at bernd.talasch@optusnet.com.au .. My people and I pretty much monitor it 24/7 in the event that I'm expecting an email from J-Lawz.

Meanwhile, I have absolutely no idea who this is but she seems transfixed by something that clearly isn’t there. Or rain. Which is. Also, I’m totally not distracted : Jennifer Lawrence is nearby and is totally the object of my attention. (edited to add : Natalie Dormer)

Meanwhile, I have absolutely no idea who this is but she seems transfixed by something that clearly isn’t there. Or rain. Which is. Also, I’m totally not distracted : Jennifer Lawrence is nearby and is totally the object of my attention. (edited to add : Natalie Dormer)

Fortunately, I don't think Jennifer Lawrence noticed, or if she did, she doesn't mind.

Fortunately, I don't think Jennifer Lawrence noticed, or if she did, she doesn't mind.

Meanwhile, Tom Hiddleston has arrived. That is all.

Meanwhile, Tom Hiddleston has arrived. That is all.

Eddie Redmayne from Les Miserables, My Week With Marilyn, and several references to being sick during the ceremony to come, has arrived.

Eddie Redmayne from Les Miserables, My Week With Marilyn, and several references to being sick during the ceremony to come, has arrived.

Update : Tom Hiddleston closes an umbrella. That is all.

Update : Tom Hiddleston closes an umbrella. That is all.

Eddie Redmayne briefly bursts into song. Or, as said, was feeling somewhat ill.

Eddie Redmayne briefly bursts into song. Or, as said, was feeling somewhat ill.

Tom Hooper directed The King’s Speech, and more recently Les Miserables. He looks chilled. That’s because it’s only been about 10 minutes since he left his limo.

Tom Hooper directed The King’s Speech, and more recently Les Miserables. He looks chilled. That’s because it’s only been about 10 minutes since he left his limo.

Am I REALLY going to put three Tom Hiddleston photos into a Baftas album, when he wasn’t even nominated for anything this year? Ummm.. apparently.

Am I REALLY going to put three Tom Hiddleston photos into a Baftas album, when he wasn’t even nominated for anything this year? Ummm.. apparently.

Fortunately I did manage to take some long-range shots of Sir Alan Parker (who?), who was awarded the Bafta Fellowship on the night. Sorry about the not knowing who he is, by the way. But unless we’re talking 2008 and beyond, I’m going to have to concede I’m not well educated in the British film industry unless it involves Bond films, Guy Ritchie, or Tom Hooper.

Fortunately I did manage to take some long-range shots of Sir Alan Parker (who?), who was awarded the Bafta Fellowship on the night. Sorry about the not knowing who he is, by the way. But unless we’re talking 2008 and beyond, I’m going to have to concede I’m not well educated in the British film industry unless it involves Bond films, Guy Ritchie, or Tom Hooper.

Ben Affleck (of ‘Woo!! Ben Affleck!!!’ fame) strides purposefully and calmly towards more adulation. I still have to  watch ‘Argo’, though I did go to the premiere (and enjoyed it very much!). I certainly enjoyed his directorial follow-up to ‘Gone Baby Gone’ – ‘The Town’ which was very good.

Ben Affleck (of ‘Woo!! Ben Affleck!!!’ fame) strides purposefully and calmly towards more adulation. I still have to  watch ‘Argo’, though I did go to the premiere (and enjoyed it very much!). I certainly enjoyed his directorial follow-up to ‘Gone Baby Gone’ – ‘The Town’ which was very good.

The rain is coming down harder and colder, and the Notables keep arriving. Director Tim Burton attempts to hypnotise me. And is not wearing glasses, sun- or otherwise, to this event. Odd.

The rain is coming down harder and colder, and the Notables keep arriving. Director Tim Burton attempts to hypnotise me. And is not wearing glasses, sun- or otherwise, to this event. Odd.

Tim Burton’s wife Helena Bonham Carter was also there – she’s very nice, and is also in Les Mis as well as the recent reinterpretation of "Great Expectations (2012)"

Tim Burton’s wife Helena Bonham Carter was also there – she’s very nice, and is also in Les Mis as well as the recent reinterpretation of "Great Expectations (2012)"

Bradley Cooper generates (very mild) rainbows. Which is another way of saying – the Nikon’s 50mm lens is starting to get very wet, and no part of anything on me is going to get it dry this evening. The Pentax’s 90mm lens is recessed, hence not affected by the rain as much. But I digress. Bradley Cooper : in frame.

Bradley Cooper generates (very mild) rainbows. Which is another way of saying – the Nikon’s 50mm lens is starting to get very wet, and no part of anything on me is going to get it dry this evening. The Pentax’s 90mm lens is recessed, hence not affected by the rain as much. But I digress. Bradley Cooper : in frame.

A bit of eye-contact from the Mighty Ben Affleck, whose film "Argo" won yet another Directing award for the man. Pity The Academy didn’t see fit to so much as nominate him, I guess. Sorry about the weird lighting on some of these : i’m shooting INTO floodlights the media are using to interview people across from me.

A bit of eye-contact from the Mighty Ben Affleck, whose film "Argo" won yet another Directing award for the man. Pity The Academy didn’t see fit to so much as nominate him, I guess. Sorry about the weird lighting on some of these : i’m shooting INTO floodlights the media are using to interview people across from me.

The universe turned itself briefly into a pretzel as it tried to figure out the implications of Stephen Fry, already pretty much the coolest person in the world admitting he was intimidated by the coolness of Samuel L Jackson. All you climate change people : that’s a worrying level of aggregate coolness to factor into your models.

The universe turned itself briefly into a pretzel as it tried to figure out the implications of Stephen Fry, already pretty much the coolest person in the world admitting he was intimidated by the coolness of Samuel L Jackson. All you climate change people : that’s a worrying level of aggregate coolness to factor into your models.

Gemma Arterton showed up, wearing a weird tiger-y striped dress, which I totally failed to show in this image. Well done, me.

Gemma Arterton showed up, wearing a weird tiger-y striped dress, which I totally failed to show in this image. Well done, me.

George Clooney isn’t sure what that picture is meant to represent. Also : weird lens flare art courtesy of waterlogged Nikon lens (The Joaquin Phoenix one is my favourite, followed by the upcoming Daniel Day Lewis one)

George Clooney isn’t sure what that picture is meant to represent. Also : weird lens flare art courtesy of waterlogged Nikon lens (The Joaquin Phoenix one is my favourite, followed by the upcoming Daniel Day Lewis one)

George Clooney spreads more love. Or is challenging the Big Girl next to me to an arm wrestle. Don’t do it, George.

George Clooney spreads more love. Or is challenging the Big Girl next to me to an arm wrestle. Don’t do it, George.

"You're tall..."

"You're tall..."

Marion Cotillard enjoys her canopy of countless umbrellas. The dress was Yellow, in case you were wondering. She was nominated for a BAFTA for best Actress in the movie "Rust and Bone"

Marion Cotillard enjoys her canopy of countless umbrellas. The dress was Yellow, in case you were wondering. She was nominated for a BAFTA for best Actress in the movie "Rust and Bone"

Like I said… Yellow. This photo is weird, by the way – I keep wanting to orient it with a straight horizon, but the lady to Ms Cotillard’s right is already walking like This Asteroid Is Not Entirely Stable…

Like I said… Yellow. This photo is weird, by the way – I keep wanting to orient it with a straight horizon, but the lady to Ms Cotillard’s right is already walking like This Asteroid Is Not Entirely Stable…

Mrs Affleck, aka Jennifer Garner flitted past so quickly that I originally thought I’d missed her. Turns out she’s ’generic woman passing by in image IMGP1354!

Mrs Affleck, aka Jennifer Garner flitted past so quickly that I originally thought I’d missed her. Turns out she’s ’generic woman passing by in image IMGP1354!

Sarah Jessica Parker showed up. I’m not a fan of Sex and the City, but I am a fan of her not bringing husband Matthew Broderick, my OTHER nemesis, along.

Sarah Jessica Parker showed up. I’m not a fan of Sex and the City, but I am a fan of her not bringing husband Matthew Broderick, my OTHER nemesis, along.

Amy Adams, who won an Oscar for ‘The Fighter’, sadly never faced in my direction, and the only three-quarter profile shot I had was a bit too blurred. This shot is merely backlit by halogen lights directly opposite. I believe that’s precisely the question she’s being asked right now.

Amy Adams, who won an Oscar for ‘The Fighter’, sadly never faced in my direction, and the only three-quarter profile shot I had was a bit too blurred. This shot is merely backlit by halogen lights directly opposite. I believe that’s precisely the question she’s being asked right now.

Slightly too blurred. But… .Amy Adams.

Slightly too blurred. But… .Amy Adams.

Woo! Gang Signs from celebrities!! I keep forgetting this actor’s name. I know he’s not Dr Cox from the now-defunct comedy series Scrubs… Also, in my defence, it’s after midnight and I’m still going.

Woo! Gang Signs from celebrities!! I keep forgetting this actor’s name. I know he’s not Dr Cox from the now-defunct comedy series Scrubs… Also, in my defence, it’s after midnight and I’m still going.

Sally Field was in Forrest Gump and The Flying Nun, but apparently she’s done even MORE famous stuff than that??

Sally Field was in Forrest Gump and The Flying Nun, but apparently she’s done even MORE famous stuff than that??

Dame Judi Dench died in the most recent Bond film Skyfall (wait… spoilers) (wait.. it’s made over a billion dollars worldwide and everyone has surely watched it by now), but she seems quite sprightly here. Dame Helen Mirren (not pictured) came to the awards with partially pink/purple-dyed hair. Which was quite the sight.

Dame Judi Dench died in the most recent Bond film Skyfall (wait… spoilers) (wait.. it’s made over a billion dollars worldwide and everyone has surely watched it by now), but she seems quite sprightly here. Dame Helen Mirren (not pictured) came to the awards with partially pink/purple-dyed hair. Which was quite the sight.

Jeremy Renner was Hawkeye in The Avengers and was also in The Hurt Locker. He was also the only person to ask us how we were all doing this evening when he came over. Although, George Clooney asked if we were alright, too. Nice guys.

Jeremy Renner was Hawkeye in The Avengers and was also in The Hurt Locker. He was also the only person to ask us how we were all doing this evening when he came over. Although, George Clooney asked if we were alright, too. Nice guys.

Anne Hathaway breezed by. She ended up winning best…. something. Actress? Supporting Actress? on the night. I’m so tired. I don’t think she was nominated in any of the categories Ben Affleck was, though. Most likely Les Miserables, then. Still… I remember she was awesome in The Dark Knight Rises

Anne Hathaway breezed by. She ended up winning best…. something. Actress? Supporting Actress? on the night. I’m so tired. I don’t think she was nominated in any of the categories Ben Affleck was, though. Most likely Les Miserables, then. Still… I remember she was awesome in The Dark Knight Rises

One more shot. Because she’s pretty cool. (though I’m a bit distraught that the compliment is not mirrored in her expression…)

One more shot. Because she’s pretty cool. (though I’m a bit distraught that the compliment is not mirrored in her expression…)

Jessica Chastain was nominated for Zero Dark Thirty – to purloin Stephen Fry’s joke, I hadn’t watched the other twenty nine movies in the series, but I did watch this one.

Jessica Chastain was nominated for Zero Dark Thirty – to purloin Stephen Fry’s joke, I hadn’t watched the other twenty nine movies in the series, but I did watch this one.

Daniel Day-Lewis stole my OWN joke about him actually arriving in portrayal as HIMSELF, which must have been quite the challenge for the notoriously Method actor that he is.

Daniel Day-Lewis stole my OWN joke about him actually arriving in portrayal as HIMSELF, which must have been quite the challenge for the notoriously Method actor that he is.

Chris Tucker usually gets kudos for being in Rush Hour with Jackie Chan, but I feel his tireless weirdness as Space DJ Ruby Rod opposite Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element was even more noteworthy. That said, he ended up leaving ME hanging on the high-five HE was attempting to elicit from the crowd.. Unforgivable.

Chris Tucker usually gets kudos for being in Rush Hour with Jackie Chan, but I feel his tireless weirdness as Space DJ Ruby Rod opposite Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element was even more noteworthy. That said, he ended up leaving ME hanging on the high-five HE was attempting to elicit from the crowd.. Unforgivable.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe we should get out of this frikkin’ blizzard and continue this in either of our hotel rooms?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe we should get out of this frikkin’ blizzard and continue this in either of our hotel rooms?”

Javier Bardem dropped by briefly to be cool in our area. Much obliged.

Javier Bardem dropped by briefly to be cool in our area. Much obliged.

Quentin Tarantino zipped past. He won a BAFTA, as did Christoph Waltz (not pictured), for "Django Unchained"

Quentin Tarantino zipped past. He won a BAFTA, as did Christoph Waltz (not pictured), for "Django Unchained"

Daniel Day Lewis will sign autographs by feel. It’s for a role he’s working on.

Daniel Day Lewis will sign autographs by feel. It’s for a role he’s working on.

John C Reilly arrives late but triumphant and cheerful> I am very certain that unless he changed his name from William H Macy recently I have watched no movies that he’s been in.

John C Reilly arrives late but triumphant and cheerful> I am very certain that unless he changed his name from William H Macy recently I have watched no movies that he’s been in.

Joaquin Phoenix practices sleight of hand with actual practical effects. Either that or the Nikon’s lens is possibly started absorbing water into its molecular componentry. I kind of like it in an artistic sense… but I think from an optical/engineering perspective it could be problematic.

Joaquin Phoenix practices sleight of hand with actual practical effects. Either that or the Nikon’s lens is possibly started absorbing water into its molecular componentry. I kind of like it in an artistic sense… but I think from an optical/engineering perspective it could be problematic.

And, yeah, like I said. It was snowing. I waited til it was over to change lenses and take this shot. Then zipped home to dry off and eat and not stand up for a while. (Good times!!!!)

And, yeah, like I said. It was snowing. I waited til it was over to change lenses and take this shot. Then zipped home to dry off and eat and not stand up for a while. (Good times!!!!)

So… definitely a huge one. My core temperature has pretty much returned to normal and my cameras seem to be okay. Worth it. Until next time!

And it goes without saying it goes straight into The Archive of Movie Premieres

PS. edited to add : the so-called evil lady wasn’t really THAT evil : found out mid-premiere that she was actually being pushed significantly on HER left by people who were standing in a spot next to an empty pen that they were ‘surprised’ was later filled, found their view impeded and responded by pushing. All that said, I still wouldn’t bet against her in an arm-wrestle against George Clooney!

Added bonus: 24 hours earlier, at the pre-BAFTAs party at Aspreys:

Christoph Waltz, who ended up winning a Best Supporting Actor BAFTA for “Django Unchained”. I’d like to point out that these photos were taken from the other side of the street, and shooting through/around Paparazzi from where Joe Public was kept behind low barriers.

Christoph Waltz, who ended up winning a Best Supporting Actor BAFTA for “Django Unchained”. I’d like to point out that these photos were taken from the other side of the street, and shooting through/around Paparazzi from where Joe Public was kept behind low barriers.

Ben Affleck, who is Ben Affleck in real life, looks pensive and hurt.

Ben Affleck, who is Ben Affleck in real life, looks pensive and hurt.

Juno Temple, who won the ‘Rising Star’ award the following day.

Juno Temple, who won the ‘Rising Star’ award the following day.

Andrea Riseborough, who looks like somebody else that I’ve photographed before (but who wasn’t Andrea Riseborough…)

Andrea Riseborough, who looks like somebody else that I’ve photographed before (but who wasn’t Andrea Riseborough…)

Any event featuring Marion Cotillard is by default a classy event….

Any event featuring Marion Cotillard is by default a classy event….

…. oh, and if Samuel L Jackson shows up, then there really can be no argument.

…. oh, and if Samuel L Jackson shows up, then there really can be no argument.

PS. If you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook by clicking here 

PPS. If you're interested, there's a commentary-less expansion/alternate 'Red Carpet Monochrome' journal for the 2013 Baftas here.

Until next Time!