The 2018 Television Baftas, Royal Festival Hall

May 13th, 2018.

If I may be allowed to begin with a brief rant : the Film BAFTAs were held some three months ago, and the <insert highly specific profanity>s responsible for the distribution of wristbands decided that a mix of bullshit shadow games and a randomising element would ensure more people than ever were in a position to try to get wristbands on the day, and then the same ba5ta7rd5 handed out less wristbands than ever before.... and I missed out on a wristband by 9 spots. And yeah, you'd better believe I'm still upset about that. Thanks for making the least fair method ever, guys (working hard for something and getting a reward is fair... winning a random lottery isn't fair, it's random. There's a difference. Call me Baftas - I'd be more than happy to put my ideas on a whiteboard and talk you through them. Very slowly).

But hey, this is the TEEVEE BAFTAS : the Film Baftas' cooler, groovier, less snobily elitist cousin. And I don't even bother getting a wristband for this event, because it's nicer, warmer, sunnier and more chilled. And by mid-May, sometimes so am I.

Here's how it went down (until I go back and relabel everyone I mislabelled, and add in all the people I later found out won awards):

 Two years ago, I photographed the 2016 TV Baftas from this vantagepoint, while one year ago I shot from the street level two sections below. This year? I opted for a spot on the left of this image, where you can just see a vertical yellow placard

Two years ago, I photographed the 2016 TV Baftas from this vantagepoint, while one year ago I shot from the street level two sections below. This year? I opted for a spot on the left of this image, where you can just see a vertical yellow placard

 Just like every year, I'm forced to admit that my knowledge of all things televisual is limited to approximately "Game of Thrones and Sherlock". This year, I can extend that to 'The Crown', since I've just got past season one of that show.

Just like every year, I'm forced to admit that my knowledge of all things televisual is limited to approximately "Game of Thrones and Sherlock". This year, I can extend that to 'The Crown', since I've just got past season one of that show.

 Arrivals at the event start about 4:30pm, and finish about 6:30pm by which time one suspects the champagne has been nicely chilled and the canapes ready for circulation on little silver trays. Meanwhile, by that time I'm typically heading for the train station hoping like hell I have leftovers I can heat up...

Arrivals at the event start about 4:30pm, and finish about 6:30pm by which time one suspects the champagne has been nicely chilled and the canapes ready for circulation on little silver trays. Meanwhile, by that time I'm typically heading for the train station hoping like hell I have leftovers I can heat up...

 In prior years, they've discouraged / banned fans from being on the staircase/balcony overlooking dropoff (you don't need a wristband for that), today they only did it for the four people near where I was standing, about an hour after the event has started. They're called peanut heads for a reason... and it's not (entirely) because of the shape of their heads.

In prior years, they've discouraged / banned fans from being on the staircase/balcony overlooking dropoff (you don't need a wristband for that), today they only did it for the four people near where I was standing, about an hour after the event has started. They're called peanut heads for a reason... and it's not (entirely) because of the shape of their heads.

 Our spot gives us a view of dropoff and also two landings on the long flight of stairs leading to the promenade where interviews, autographs and selfies will be dispensed. Even more fortunate, the VIP Paps have a posing board side-on to where we're standing.... assuming it's not blocked by security, guests, attendants, z-grade celebrities or anyone else lingering or loitering. In any case : this is Nadine Mulkerrin. I don't know who she is or what she does.

Our spot gives us a view of dropoff and also two landings on the long flight of stairs leading to the promenade where interviews, autographs and selfies will be dispensed. Even more fortunate, the VIP Paps have a posing board side-on to where we're standing.... assuming it's not blocked by security, guests, attendants, z-grade celebrities or anyone else lingering or loitering. In any case : this is Nadine Mulkerrin. I don't know who she is or what she does.

  "It's not trying to make you or your equipment feel inadequate and small. That's just a happy byproduct, really..."

"It's not trying to make you or your equipment feel inadequate and small. That's just a happy byproduct, really..."

 Arrivals have started... erm... arriving, and the young ladies to my immediate left with the cool Irish accents are very, very, (very) excited about anyone and everyone who is here, might be here, or just anyone anywhere, really. But their accents are REALLY cool.

Arrivals have started... erm... arriving, and the young ladies to my immediate left with the cool Irish accents are very, very, (very) excited about anyone and everyone who is here, might be here, or just anyone anywhere, really. But their accents are REALLY cool.

 I don't know who this is, but I'd mention the glorious hair even if the superhcharged barely post-teen Irish girls hadn't dreamily mentioned it already.  (edited to add : "Kieron Richardson")

I don't know who this is, but I'd mention the glorious hair even if the superhcharged barely post-teen Irish girls hadn't dreamily mentioned it already. (edited to add : "Kieron Richardson")

  "Your hair is good, but other guys' was better" . I am assured this is Michelle Collins, but at this late hour I'm not really all that motivated to look online to see what she's famous for.

"Your hair is good, but other guys' was better". I am assured this is Michelle Collins, but at this late hour I'm not really all that motivated to look online to see what she's famous for.

 I don't know who this is, but wearing a suit jacket with T-Shirt underneath is something both I and Tony Stark do, so I think that's pretty cool.

I don't know who this is, but wearing a suit jacket with T-Shirt underneath is something both I and Tony Stark do, so I think that's pretty cool.

 I don't know who any of these three are, but they're all wearing "Time's Up" Badges. I myself am wearing a grey hoodie, a shiny brass-lettered "L.A." cap, jeans and cool Ruhla wristwatch from Germany... but no "Time's Up" Badge. I wonder if there's a bucket near dropoff where they're handing them out - nobody was throwing them into the crowd for us to wear...

I don't know who any of these three are, but they're all wearing "Time's Up" Badges. I myself am wearing a grey hoodie, a shiny brass-lettered "L.A." cap, jeans and cool Ruhla wristwatch from Germany... but no "Time's Up" Badge. I wonder if there's a bucket near dropoff where they're handing them out - nobody was throwing them into the crowd for us to wear...

  "Wassup guys?"  Not sure who he is -&nbsp; apparently he's a singer?

"Wassup guys?" Not sure who he is -  apparently he's a singer?

 Owing to the fact that (among other things) my television set is located further from my antenna plug than my TV cable can reach, I don't watch television and thus the precise nature of the fame of (say) Claudia Winkleman eludes me. Sorry.

Owing to the fact that (among other things) my television set is located further from my antenna plug than my TV cable can reach, I don't watch television and thus the precise nature of the fame of (say) Claudia Winkleman eludes me. Sorry.

 Hayley Atwell, on the other hand, might be in television, but she was also in the first Captain America movie (and I guess second, albeit older) (and her black'n'white photo was in the third) so I do know who she is.

Hayley Atwell, on the other hand, might be in television, but she was also in the first Captain America movie (and I guess second, albeit older) (and her black'n'white photo was in the third) so I do know who she is.

  "Hi guys.. this dress is solid copper and weighs a ton and I still have another flight of stairs to go.... so let's not get all worked up about how awesome it must be to be famous" . Sadly, I don't know who this is,but she might have a point about fame.  (edited to add : "Jane McDonald") (edited to edit : "Cruising With Jane McDonald" won the 'features' Bafta on the evening)

"Hi guys.. this dress is solid copper and weighs a ton and I still have another flight of stairs to go.... so let's not get all worked up about how awesome it must be to be famous". Sadly, I don't know who this is,but she might have a point about fame. (edited to add : "Jane McDonald") (edited to edit : "Cruising With Jane McDonald" won the 'features' Bafta on the evening)

 I feel like I should know who this is, since I'm about 80% certain I photographed (and probably even identified) who this was when she attended    LAST year's TV Baftas   .

I feel like I should know who this is, since I'm about 80% certain I photographed (and probably even identified) who this was when she attended LAST year's TV Baftas.

 Declan Donnelly is half of the "Ant and Dec" comedy duo that has won the same Bafta award for most of the past decade or so. I think Ant didn't attend this one....

Declan Donnelly is half of the "Ant and Dec" comedy duo that has won the same Bafta award for most of the past decade or so. I think Ant didn't attend this one....

  "So you see... it's not technically illegal because we've structured it in a way that means almost all parts of the operation are in international waters at all time. Can we put you down for a couple of thousand shares, or do you want to think about it further?"  I don't know who this is, or whether it represents a good investment opportunity, or indeed whether it's legal or not.

"So you see... it's not technically illegal because we've structured it in a way that means almost all parts of the operation are in international waters at all time. Can we put you down for a couple of thousand shares, or do you want to think about it further?" I don't know who this is, or whether it represents a good investment opportunity, or indeed whether it's legal or not.

 Amanda Holden is.. some kind of TV personality... I'm guessing? (I'm theorising this mainly because I've remembered I'm at a TV Baftas)

Amanda Holden is.. some kind of TV personality... I'm guessing? (I'm theorising this mainly because I've remembered I'm at a TV Baftas)

  "Just because my 'Time's Up' badge had the apostrophe in the wrong place didn't make it less sincere, Janice...."  This is (I am assured by wireimage.com) Amy Jackson

"Just because my 'Time's Up' badge had the apostrophe in the wrong place didn't make it less sincere, Janice...." This is (I am assured by wireimage.com) Amy Jackson

 I don't know who this is, but I am more or less in awe at the  don't-f**k-with-me- ness of her pose. I have been in 'the zone' before, but not often, and not anywhere near as awesomely as this.  (edited to add : refer following picture)

I don't know who this is, but I am more or less in awe at the don't-f**k-with-me-ness of her pose. I have been in 'the zone' before, but not often, and not anywhere near as awesomely as this. (edited to add : refer following picture)

 I didn't think her pose could get any more awesome, but there you go.  (If you know who she is, please let me know. I'll take name, email address, phone number, twitter handle, superhero alias... anything you can give me would be appreciated) (edited to add, with thanks to Carlos : She's Wallis Day from the TV Series Krypton... now..... about her phone number....?)

I didn't think her pose could get any more awesome, but there you go. (If you know who she is, please let me know. I'll take name, email address, phone number, twitter handle, superhero alias... anything you can give me would be appreciated)
(edited to add, with thanks to Carlos : She's Wallis Day from the TV Series Krypton... now..... about her phone number....?)

 Meanwhile...... yes. Three is probably the optimal number of Leicas you should be carrying with you if you want to be mugged but have at least one you can use as a weapon to defend yourself&nbsp; (and the other two Leicas) with.

Meanwhile...... yes. Three is probably the optimal number of Leicas you should be carrying with you if you want to be mugged but have at least one you can use as a weapon to defend yourself  (and the other two Leicas) with.

  "This dress is pure gold and weighs a ton.... why do I do this to myself, Robert??"

"This dress is pure gold and weighs a ton.... why do I do this to myself, Robert??"

 The lady exiting at the back of the car is Jodie Whittaker : the current (upcoming?) incarnation of Doctor Who.

The lady exiting at the back of the car is Jodie Whittaker : the current (upcoming?) incarnation of Doctor Who.

 Jodie Whittaker has been in the occasional movie, so I've photographed her at (say)    the premiere of "One Day"    (back in 2011) and at least one Empire Awards (   probably this one   )

Jodie Whittaker has been in the occasional movie, so I've photographed her at (say) the premiere of "One Day" (back in 2011) and at least one Empire Awards (probably this one)

 Even at ten frames per second, sometimes time really is up. Sadly.

Even at ten frames per second, sometimes time really is up. Sadly.

 Sit down if you're reading : I actually know who Sandi Toksvig (at right) is : she used to host a radio show I used to listen to back in the day. British culture... it's almost like I've lived here for a while!

Sit down if you're reading : I actually know who Sandi Toksvig (at right) is : she used to host a radio show I used to listen to back in the day. British culture... it's almost like I've lived here for a while!

 Sandi Toksvig, for all I associate her with British culture, is actually from Denmark. This cheers me somewhat.

Sandi Toksvig, for all I associate her with British culture, is actually from Denmark. This cheers me somewhat.

 I'm usually pretty good at identifying people who look at me guiltily like they owe me money, but the lady identified as Lucy Watson doesn't look familiar, even if the look she's wearing does.

I'm usually pretty good at identifying people who look at me guiltily like they owe me money, but the lady identified as Lucy Watson doesn't look familiar, even if the look she's wearing does.

  "And so I said "Norway, right?" and she said "No way. Belgium, Man. Belgium. Oh, how we laughed"

"And so I said "Norway, right?" and she said "No way. Belgium, Man. Belgium. Oh, how we laughed"

 Thandie Newton was in Mission Impossible 2 (the John Woo one set in Australia that's probably rightfully despised but her midriff was excellent in it), and the movie "Chronicles of Riddick" which made MI:2 seem less horrific..... after that I'm not sure what she's done career wise : I kinda feel Naomie Harris stole her career somewhat?

Thandie Newton was in Mission Impossible 2 (the John Woo one set in Australia that's probably rightfully despised but her midriff was excellent in it), and the movie "Chronicles of Riddick" which made MI:2 seem less horrific..... after that I'm not sure what she's done career wise : I kinda feel Naomie Harris stole her career somewhat?

  "Could everyone just choose to forget Chronicles of Riddick? It was basically last century".  A 2004 release date means you've got another 82 years of that movie being from the 21st Century, sadly.

"Could everyone just choose to forget Chronicles of Riddick? It was basically last century". A 2004 release date means you've got another 82 years of that movie being from the 21st Century, sadly.

 I don't know who this is but her vaguely goth look apparently needs three cars to accompany its transportation.

I don't know who this is but her vaguely goth look apparently needs three cars to accompany its transportation.

 Anna Friel's imdb filmography (I refuse to acknowledge TV shows I don't watch, even at the Baftas) reveals strange movies like "Land of the Lost" with Will Ferrell, and the movie "Timeline" with Paul Walker... and "Limitless" with Bradley Cooper. But that shade of dress is pretty great.

Anna Friel's imdb filmography (I refuse to acknowledge TV shows I don't watch, even at the Baftas) reveals strange movies like "Land of the Lost" with Will Ferrell, and the movie "Timeline" with Paul Walker... and "Limitless" with Bradley Cooper. But that shade of dress is pretty great.

  "Land of the Lost? Really?".

"Land of the Lost? Really?".

 I last photographed Sean Bean at    last year's TV Baftas   . He's possibly best known for movies (like 'The Martian') but he's also been in Game of Thrones, one of the few TV Series I have watched (once episodes are on itunes)  (edited to add : he won 'Best Leading Actor' for something called 'Broken')

I last photographed Sean Bean at last year's TV Baftas. He's possibly best known for movies (like 'The Martian') but he's also been in Game of Thrones, one of the few TV Series I have watched (once episodes are on itunes) (edited to add : he won 'Best Leading Actor' for something called 'Broken')

 Rio Ferdinand is (I believe) a former English football (soccer) captain.  (edited to add : he won / was seen holding a Bafta for 'Single Documentary' for 'Rio Ferdinand : Being Mum and Dad')

Rio Ferdinand is (I believe) a former English football (soccer) captain. (edited to add : he won / was seen holding a Bafta for 'Single Documentary' for 'Rio Ferdinand : Being Mum and Dad')

 Mo Farah, meanwhile, won the 5000m and 10000m gold medals at both the 2012 London and 2016 Rio Olympics. Those events do not involve two flights of stairs, though, so he's doing pretty well.

Mo Farah, meanwhile, won the 5000m and 10000m gold medals at both the 2012 London and 2016 Rio Olympics. Those events do not involve two flights of stairs, though, so he's doing pretty well.

 I don't know who Charlotte Hawkins is, outside of the fact that she's been identified as such by wireimage.com

I don't know who Charlotte Hawkins is, outside of the fact that she's been identified as such by wireimage.com

 It's Claire Foy - I found the first season of 'The Crown' on DVD and since I feel obliged to watch anything I was at the premiere of (   ie. 'The Crown Season 1'   ) I actually know who she is. How the rope portion of her dress functions exactly I'm not sure, however.

It's Claire Foy - I found the first season of 'The Crown' on DVD and since I feel obliged to watch anything I was at the premiere of (ie. 'The Crown Season 1') I actually know who she is. How the rope portion of her dress functions exactly I'm not sure, however.

 I'm not sure why a dress featuring a rope as prominent as this would ever need to be held up by hand as well.... but I'm wearing a pair of jeans with a belt so I guess I've got it easy.

I'm not sure why a dress featuring a rope as prominent as this would ever need to be held up by hand as well.... but I'm wearing a pair of jeans with a belt so I guess I've got it easy.

 I don't know who this is, but the girls in/near the crowd seemed quite taken by him..... ... I'm going to go back to photographing Claire Foy again...

I don't know who this is, but the girls in/near the crowd seemed quite taken by him.....
... I'm going to go back to photographing Claire Foy again...

  " "Eclair Foix?" I don't get it".

" "Eclair Foix?" I don't get it".

 I don't know who this is, but I seem to remember last year's TV Baftas also featured an old guy dancing, so maybe that's the same guy or maybe it's just A Thing.

I don't know who this is, but I seem to remember last year's TV Baftas also featured an old guy dancing, so maybe that's the same guy or maybe it's just A Thing.

 Sadly this is the only photo I got of Toby Jones, who ended up winning a Bafta at the event. ( Edited to add : Best 'Male Performance in a comedy programme' for 'Detectorists' )

Sadly this is the only photo I got of Toby Jones, who ended up winning a Bafta at the event. (Edited to add : Best 'Male Performance in a comedy programme' for 'Detectorists')

  "Must.. drown... out.... Dealers... shouting.... at ..... me"  Vanessa Kirby plays the Queen's sister Princess Margaret in both Season 1 and    Season 2 of 'The Crown'

"Must.. drown... out.... Dealers... shouting.... at ..... me" Vanessa Kirby plays the Queen's sister Princess Margaret in both Season 1 and Season 2 of 'The Crown'

  "They really are hard to drown out..."

"They really are hard to drown out..."

  "How did they get an action figure of me from Mission Impossible Fallout already - that movie hasn't even been released yet!!" (edited to add : Vanessa Kirby ended up winning Best Supporting actress on the night)

"How did they get an action figure of me from Mission Impossible Fallout already - that movie hasn't even been released yet!!" (edited to add : Vanessa Kirby ended up winning Best Supporting actress on the night)

 Not a clue.  (edited, with some embarrassment, to later add : she's Daisy May Cooper, who won a Bafta for best female performance in a comedy programme) (edited to edit to add : pretty cool that I posted her photo without knowing who she was!)

Not a clue. (edited, with some embarrassment, to later add : she's Daisy May Cooper, who won a Bafta for best female performance in a comedy programme) (edited to edit to add : pretty cool that I posted her photo without knowing who she was!)

 I actually do know of Katherine Ryan - she was in a televised debate I watched over New Years in Australia a few years back (true - if rather uninteresting - story). Her dress looks more like something that was wrought by an ironsmith than sewn.

I actually do know of Katherine Ryan - she was in a televised debate I watched over New Years in Australia a few years back (true - if rather uninteresting - story). Her dress looks more like something that was wrought by an ironsmith than sewn.

  "Don't joke : it can stop a crossbow bolt at eighty paces"

"Don't joke : it can stop a crossbow bolt at eighty paces"

 Emma Willis... is..... who this is. Apparently.

Emma Willis... is..... who this is. Apparently.

 I feel like I photographed him at the premiere of The Inbetweeners 2, but it's well past midnight and I might have to give plausible pretense of being productive at work tomorrow, so I'm not particularly motivated to check on this right now.

I feel like I photographed him at the premiere of The Inbetweeners 2, but it's well past midnight and I might have to give plausible pretense of being productive at work tomorrow, so I'm not particularly motivated to check on this right now.

 Abbey Clancey.... I think I photographed her at a GQ Awards, once. The scary/vexed looking woman behind her is not somebody I'm any more familiar with.

Abbey Clancey.... I think I photographed her at a GQ Awards, once. The scary/vexed looking woman behind her is not somebody I'm any more familiar with.

  "Guess what I got!!!!! No... you're not allowed to read the writing - that's too much of a clue"

"Guess what I got!!!!! No... you're not allowed to read the writing - that's too much of a clue"

 I don't (yet) know who Michelle Keegan is, but if it's possible to be in raptures over a yellow dress, at least half a dozen girls near me were managing it.

I don't (yet) know who Michelle Keegan is, but if it's possible to be in raptures over a yellow dress, at least half a dozen girls near me were managing it.

  "Here's the phone number of my tailor, and my seamstresses' instagram"  - Michelle Keegan signs autographs.

"Here's the phone number of my tailor, and my seamstresses' instagram" - Michelle Keegan signs autographs.

 Put down your angry tweets, emails and hashtags : Ore and Portia Oduba (pictured) are married.

Put down your angry tweets, emails and hashtags : Ore and Portia Oduba (pictured) are married.

  "It's too late. I saw the picture and assumed they weren't and there's no going back from that" (edited to add : "Helen George")

"It's too late. I saw the picture and assumed they weren't and there's no going back from that" (edited to add : "Helen George")

 I believe this is the British womens volleyball team. They later posed with their medals, but it's taking me about five minutes to edit resize, upload, tag and write comments at this stage, and my spelling and grammar skillz is fading fast.

I believe this is the British womens volleyball team. They later posed with their medals, but it's taking me about five minutes to edit resize, upload, tag and write comments at this stage, and my spelling and grammar skillz is fading fast.

 Man in Sunglasses.

Man in Sunglasses.

 Man in Glasses proves to be Martin Freeman, best known for Coolly Casual Pen Throwing at the TV Baftas two years ago, and for being in Captain America Civil War and Black Panther and Sherlock and The Hobbit. LInks to follow, perhaps later.

Man in Glasses proves to be Martin Freeman, best known for Coolly Casual Pen Throwing at the TV Baftas two years ago, and for being in Captain America Civil War and Black Panther and Sherlock and The Hobbit. LInks to follow, perhaps later.

 Joely Richardson.... she was in the Roland Emmerich's Shakespeare conspiracy movie "Anonymous" as well as having a small role in David Fincher's "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo". Her dress probably wasn't in both... or either of those films.

Joely Richardson.... she was in the Roland Emmerich's Shakespeare conspiracy movie "Anonymous" as well as having a small role in David Fincher's "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo". Her dress probably wasn't in both... or either of those films.

So... that was that. London finally had an event, and the city will no doubt return to a premiere-less slumber until some accountant somewhere runs The Numbers differently and studios decide to do premieres in London.... or maybe not

Until (then), though!

If you want to know when I post one of these journals (which will require an event to take place, you understand), feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo

subsequent additions:

  "The dress might look plain, but you know what? A gold award is going to look fantastic against it"  (Molly Windsor, who ended up winning a Bafta for Leading Actress)

"The dress might look plain, but you know what? A gold award is going to look fantastic against it" (Molly Windsor, who ended up winning a Bafta for Leading Actress)

 Not a winner on the night (?), but certainly nobody with a necklace this stylish can ever truly not be a winner (Gabriella Wilde)

Not a winner on the night (?), but certainly nobody with a necklace this stylish can ever truly not be a winner (Gabriella Wilde)